Another semester is nearing its end. The weather is beautiful today outside, and I'm sitting here in my dorm doing homework. But it's that time of year; and I might go for a walk or something for a break. Got a DC Talk CD playing right now, so that helps.
The Red Fern Festival is this weekend; so that's a pretty big deal. Especially since Where the Red Fern Grows is pretty much about a dirt-poor boy and his two dogs. But for that reason, it's such a wonderful book, and I'm tearing up right now and I can't help it....
Okay, well. Yeah. (I love dogs, okay?) Anyway, Mom stopped by to visit last night and said a new stray has stopped by for a bit, so the new-animals-I-need-to-meet count is up to Rags' kittens(I met them, but they weren't old enough to have personalities yet), the new goats and this new dog.
Courtney's pretty excited about going to Mexico again in June; and Dad's gonna go this time, too.
I got to thinking about the things I've done to relax this past week after working on homework and projects all day: Sunday: Watch MacGyver. Monday: Thunder basketball. Tuesday: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Wednesday: Blues hockey. Thursday: Thunder basketball. Friday: NASCAR and Blues hockey. Tonight: NASCAR and Thunder basketball.
None of those are "calming, non-stressful opportunities for deep breathing".
Nope, they're edge-of-your-seat action thrillers.
Nope, nope, nope, that's not right, either....they're all "pacing frantically, mentally-taxing, adrenaline-spike-producing, yell at the TV" types of events.
Monday night after the Impact meeting Amber, Stephen, Jordan, Ja Li Si, Elizabeth and I were all watching the Thunder game in the living room, yelling and screaming at the screen. A handful of other people were watching us watch the game; they thought that was more entertaining. But, I mean, it's THUNDER BASKETBALL. Thunder PLAYOFF basketball. Thunder PLAYOFF basketball AGAINST THE GRIZZLIES. Normal emotions go out the window; it's one of those rivalry things that can't be explained. (Maybe that's one of those mysteries we'll understand in heaven? Wait....is that sacrilegious to wonder that?) Anyway, it was fantastic. And so intense. Amber broke her phone by throwing it into the ground at one point Durant's incredible four-point play late, then Perk tying it with four-tenths of a second left....And then, of course, the wheels fell off in overtime for a 111-105 loss.
And so, since it was such a great atmosphere during the game on Monday, Stephen and Jordan and a friend of theirs named Bucky mapped out a watch party for Thursday night at the BCM. Elizabeth, Amber, James and I all volunteered to help, so that was set up and about twenty-five people came. The TVs upstairs, in the living room and in the basement were all running the game; there were hot dogs, four types of chips, chili, queso, five types of pop, popcorn, a bowl of mini Reese's, cheesecake and a mountain of Little Debbies. (Other events going on that night were the Mike Brown benefit dinner/auction, the NSU Idol competition,.and a production of "Into the Woods", so that explained the smaller-than-expected turnout.)
It was pretty great. The game started out slowly, we were playing horrendously; and it was painful to watch for most of the first three quarters. The gang assembled migrated as a herd through the three viewing-stations, near halftime some random Greeks got pool and ping pong tournaments started.
Somewhat superstitiously, everyone froze in their spots during the fourth quarter, resulting in half the remaining folks upstairs howling the roof down and and the rest tearing everything and everyone apart with vicious pent-up emotion. The insults were flying thick and the slightest bit of gamma radiation would've caused us all to completely Hulk out. I'm surprised the couch pillows weren't completely shredded. It was me, Amber, Elizabeth and this girl Bubba Jacob knows named Haley in the living room, and our yowling brought Michelle, James, Ja Li Si, Ashleigh, Justin and Drew out of the office where they were doing homework to see what was going on. Upstairs, Stephen, Bucky, Jordan and Other Jordan were coming equally unglued.
Voices worn out with shouting/complaining/yelling/pleading/shouting/encouraging/cheering, towards the end words turned into a variety of growls, grunts, hissing and bristling fur. I learned I could be a very good cat, like maybe a jaguar or mountain lion. (Of course, I've had lots of practice talking Cat....)
Considerably bummed-out by the overtime 98-95 loss, we cleaned up the food, rearranged the chairs and everything as best we could, and then drowned our sorrows in chocolate while discussing plans for fall. I walked home just after midnight, not sure when they wrapped up.
I'll be on newspaper staff in fall; that'll be an interesting experience and it'll keep me busy, but it should be good, hopefully. Besides that, I'll also be helping lead SWAT next year alongside Susan. That's exciting, but intimidating; it'll definitely keep me supplied with things to pray about. Wondering where it will lead.... Ryan McNeil had asked me to teach Amy's Sunday School class last fall; but I had to decline because of school. So since then I've been praying about some type of ministry opportunity to come up, and then Samantha requested volunteers to step up to the plate and take the reins. We'll see what happens....
Don't think I'll probably be at SGYC this year; haven't heard anything about it, anyway. And that's okay, maybe my time right now has closed, maybe it'll open back up at some later point down the road; Brother Larry and Ryan Butler have suggested the possibility of maybe teaching. Courtney and Caleb are hoping that I'll be a counselor again, and if that happens that'd be great. If not, well, that's fine, too - I'll just enjoy listening to their stories. (Oh, good grief....I suddenly am picturing the three of us randomly driving back to Missouri mid-conversation with inside jokes and remembrances and stories...Mom might run out of the room with another level added to this subject....)
Reading through old camp books...man, so many memories, such an outpouring of Christian-fellowship and encouragement.
I was talking to Ash a few weeks ago, we got to talking about school, she mentioned jokingly that she'd almost forgotten a time when I wasn't in college. It does seem like it's been forever ago....and then sometimes it seems like last Tuesday.
Reading through 1 John as the April saturation book, Mom's been talking about it nonstop for the past couple months, and then Mr. Johnson starting a Sunday School series on the topic about a month ago. There's some good stuff in there. Not sure what May's book will be; maybe Luke, that's probably my favorite of the Gospels.
Listened to almost every DC Talk CD they've made so far today while working on homework; their self-titled debut; "Nu Thang", "Free at Last", working on "Jesus Freak" right now, I'll probably run through "Supernatural" as well, just because I'm in a good mood.
Haven't been sleeping especially great. "This mortal form grows weak, I require sustenance." (Thor) And a good laugh and a long sleep are the two best cures for anything, according to the Irish proverb. So somewhere there's a balance of those three elements; I just haven't figured out that balance just yet. Right now I'm in the "Need more caffeine, ASAP!" tunnel to finish this stretch of the race.
And what few dreams I've been having are the future-everyday type, which is a little strange. Especially when there's a day like last Tuesday packed with deja vu and you aren't sure what things you've actually done before or just dreamed of. Sat through four innings of a baseball game; which was not very enjoyable. NSU was awful and getting killed and I was cheering for the other team. If I hadn't been taking notes I would've galloped away far sooner. Not really sure why I went; since I didn't have to cover it or anything, but it was a good excuse to be outside in the terrific weather.
Okay, time to stop writing for now and go study textbooks (bleah).
....Hmm....y'know, they'll still be there after a walk. And besides, it's supposed to be stormy tomorrow.
Saturday, April 26, 2014
Sunday, April 20, 2014
Backyard Kids: Baseball Rankings
Why, I'm not sure, but baseball's been on my mind recently. Which is strange, since I don't really care for it all that much. But anyway, I thought it'd be a good excuse to throw my version of ranking the players from the Backyard Baseball League out into the blogosphere. (It's an interesting subject, and you'd be amazed at how many people have done this. It's the kind of thing you Google-search when you're a college student and it's past midnight.)
If you are(or were) a coach of the Bombers, Fishes, Giants, Hornets, Socks, Rockets, Melonheads, Monsters or Wombats, (or the All-Stars, but they never really counted, I thought, because A: It sounds arrogant and pretentious to call your team "the All-Stars", and B: Their logo was terrible.) Anyway, whichever team you're gonna be the manager of, you're gonna need to have some players. And you're gonna need to know your players' names, isn't that right? That's right. (Yes, that is a "Who's on First?" reference.)
(By the way, since we're referencing different diamond-related items, here's a link to a equally fictional news story about what they're doing now.)
But, anyway, it's pretty simple: I'm going to rank, from least to greatest, all 30 players in the league. Stats given reflect Hitting, Running, Pitching and Fielding, in that order, they were assigned by Humongous Entertainment.
Level One - THE GRUMPY CAT-LEVEL "NO". -
30 - Jorge "Bonkers" Garcia (2-2-2-2) Date of birth 10/17
Ugh....where to start? He can't field anything cleanly(which is helpful when he's on the other team), and he's almost an automatic strikeout when he's at the plate(which, again, is quite useful). I've rarely seen him pitch, but I doubt he could do that very well, either. Jorge just isn't athletic. And he's a rich snob. And he WEARS A TIE. And he's constantly fussing about not wanting to get dirty.
29 - Maria "Pinky" Luna (3-3-1-3) dob 7/23
"Not too sweet, not too sour....just a little too, ah, pink." - Uncle Max, Sound of Music. That quote works perfectly for Maria. And she's just so annoyingly girly-girlish. It's almost sad how much malicious enjoyment I got from tossing Angela's fastballs and fireballs past that prim starched batter at the plate.
28 - Ronny "The Pest" Dobbs (3-2-3-2) dob 8/10
He is and always will be "The Pest". He cries at the drop of a hat, and at all other times is just extremely whiny. There are few experiences more embarrassing in the Backyard Sports Universe than allowing Ronny to get a hit off you.
27 - Sally "The Boss" Dobbs (2-3-2-3) dob 11/11
Just as insufferable as her little brother, but even worse, if that's possible, due to her unbearable bossiness. As Vinnie the Gooch said, "The Boss is kinda like a 40-year-old in a kid's body." One small area of praise: if needed, she could be a decent relief pitcher.
26 - Reese "Big Toe" Worthington (2-3-1-3) dob 5/25
Poor Reese....what happened to him when he grew up? His asthma was so bad it kept him from playing almost every sport(though he was a decent soccer player), and he was just kind of....weak. Not exactly a sissy, but....well, small and unathletic. And what kind of nickname is "Big Toe", anyway? Always wished someone cooler would have had a birthday this close to mine.
25 - Ernie "Funnybones" Steele (2-2-3-4) dob 4/21
Ugh....sure, he could hit line drives pretty decently, and was about a mile tall, so could snatch balls no kid should have been able to get to without a ladder or Moon Boots, but his personality was SO AGGRAVATING! And his jokes weren't at all funny, and that giggling cackle of a laugh...."shivers in indignation". No telling how many holes I put into his family's shed or balls launched into the neighbors' swimming pool at Steele Stadium.
Level Two - "They're All Right, I Guess."
24 - Marky "Cootie" Du Bois (3-1-3-3) dob 9/6
Too much of a farmer. I mean, overalls are fine, and so is going barefoot, but carrying around a frog constantly? Also, when we were allowed to play ball in the pasture at the Du Bois Diamond it always seemed like a cheap rip-off of Dirt Yards(probably my favorite field of all time). Always hoped he'd get Billy Jean to notice him, though.
23 - Lisa "Mad Dog" Crockett (2-3-3-2) dob 12/4
Baseball just isn't Lisa's sport. Set her up as a linebacker on the football field or goalie in soccer, or get her on the ice for some hockey, and she'll be a great asset for your team. But baseball isn't aggressive enough, which is why she plays sports in the first place. Also, she has trouble getting along with people, so that really doesn't help much either.
22 - Dmitri "Paste" Petrovich (3-3-1-2) dob 6/9
If it's football, I'll take Dmitri as a lineman/kicker for sure, but anything else? Forget it! His defense is okay, but he can't hit worth anything. And he's far too brilliant, it rubs people the wrong way. he did build Mr. Clanky with Kenny, though; so that's something.
21 - Dante "Stretch" Robinson (2-4-3-2) dob 3/3
"I see London, I see France/I see your underpants!" has to be among the most annoyingly memorable infield chatter/jeers ever. And he has an Afro. His bat was too small to justify picking him very often, but that just meant he'd make several amazing defensive plays a game which would frustrate me to no end. And his appetite....haven't ya ever heard of moderation, dude?
20 - Vicki "Swan" Kawaguchi (1-4-3-4) dob 11/5
I'd occasionally play Vicki if I needed some fielding help and it was a fast playing surface(for example, Tin Can Alley or Cement Gardens). But she just wasn't one of those people I enjoyed spending time with....something to do with the obsession over ballet, probably. And the tiny space covered by her swing.
19 - Amir "Sticks" Khan (3-2-3-2) dob 9/1
Another person, like Ronny, Vicki or Angela, suffering the Little Sibling Effect: You constantly judge them based on the accomplishments of their older siblings. Amir was fine, I guess, but just seemed like he was always trying too hard to copy Achmed and never quite could match him. Probably dropping his air-guitar-bat coming to the plate didn't help much there. Can't hit anything inside.
18 - Gretchen "Jabberjaw" Hasselhoff (2-3-3-1) dob 5/31
SHE. WON'T. STOP. TALKING. That's mainly why I disliked her, and was also disappointed that her birthday was so close to mine. But she was a decent player otherwise.
17 - Kimmy "Twinkle Toes" Eckman (3-1-2-2) dob 6/22
Kimmy and sports(especially soccer, but anything really) go together "like chocolate and peanut butter", as she likes to say. Not spectacular at anything, but a solid player who'll try her hardest to help the team win. And her backyard makes a great field. Often picked for ensuring good team chemistry.
Level Three - The Good, But...
16 - Tony "Vec" Delvecchio (3-2-2-3) dob 7/16
Sure, Tony's cocky and brash and overconfident, and he wouldn't be the easiest guy to hang out with, y'know? But listen, Slick; he's got one heck of an arm, which can come in mighty handy on those close plays late in the game. Set him in the outfield, especially at Playground Commons, and you'll do pretty well, kid.
15 - Billy Jean "Crazy Legs" Blackwood (3-2-2-2) dob 1/26
She's extremely tall, with city dreams of becoming a model and moving to "Pair-eese". But she's as country in attitude as they come, and easy to get along with, too. Not much help at the plate except for occasional line-drive singles, but she's usually good for advancing runners already on base. And she's a great first baseman, even though sometimes she has trouble catching the ball.
14 - Mikey "Nugget" Thomas (4-1-2-3) dob 10/19
He has a never-ending cold, is slower than the last week of school, has a pet rock and lives with his grandparents because his parents died (supposedly in a house fire). But he's a pretty good infielder at second or short, and can hit the ball a mile if he connects well.
13 - Kenny "K-Man" Kawaguchi (2-4-3-2) dob 10/20
"Don't let the wheelchair fool ya," Kenny will be the first to say. He can play pretty well; contact hitter, above-average on the mound, and good fielding. If it's a slow surface, though(say Dirt Yards or Sandy Flats), his (literal) wheels really don't work so well.
12 - Stephanie "Bubbles" Morgan (3-3-2-3) dob 8/15
Stephanie LOVES baseball, as she'll gladly tell you about if you give her half a second. It's her life. Her dad was a minor leaguer, and he taught her everything she knows; including Babe Ruth's batting stance. (It doesn't help much if sneaky pitchers know she can't touch anything outside...heheheh.) She's a natural shortstop, though she can really play almost anywhere in the infield.
11 - Luanne "Lulu" Lui (2-4-3-1) dob 1/27
The youngest of the Backyard Kids, she's also one of the fastest there is. Bunt or weak grounder, and then a flash of little girl and inseparable pink teddy bear around the basepaths. She can also pitch surprisingly well, if needed.
10, 9 - Ashley "Little Smokey" and Sidney "Little Smokey" Webber (2-3-3-2) dob 2/18
Nobody has figured out a way to tell the Webbers apart, so it's probably best to play them together. If tennis was an official Backyard sport, they'd be world-class. It's not, though....but that natural athleticism pays off well in any sort of competition. They work best when they're working together, but can do almost as well on different teams. Besides, how can you dislike them? (Other unofficial sports they'd be amazing at: Volleyball, Frisbee, and mini-golf.)
8 - Ricky "Fella" Johnson (2-3-3-2) dob 2/14
Ricky's quiet, doesn't talk much if he can help it. He prefers to let his play talk for him; he's nearly unhittable when pitching(those slowballs and hooks will get ya every time), and a pretty good fielder besides. Of course, his ambling pace combined with laid-back swing mean a for-sure out on offense.
Level Four - Topps
7 - Annie "Flipper" Frazier (3-3-1-3) dob 9/18
Okay, I never really understood her lack of competitive-ness, and she's kind of a hippie, but she would make a fantastic teammate. Contact hitter, great catcher and overall team-encourager.
6 - Achmed "Axeman" Khan (4-3-2-2) dob 7/11
This dude rocks. Like, seriously. Kind of amazing he hasn't gone deaf with those massive headphones he wears(so were those, like, Beats before Beats existed?), but as much as he's into music outside of the game, on a baseball diamond he's pretty great, too. Doubles and triples, good fielding, decent pitcher for short periods, even a handful of stolen bases are possible with this guy on your team. And he's a terrific outfielder. (And what's even farther out than that: He's the third-best guy in the league.)
5 - Jocinda "MVP" Smith (4-2-2-4) dob 9/28
Jocinda is a great team leader; she'll get things done and her teammates will enjoy following her. That said, she's a very good athlete, but not the best. She's a good bet anywhere in the infield or outfield, though a little slow. Ground-rule double hitter, with a Kryptonite-level weakness of inability to hit pitches low and inside.
4 - Angela "Sugar Pop" Delvecchio (3-1-4-1) dob 12/20
What Annie lacks in competitive spirit; Angela more than makes up for on the mound. Batters dread facing her arsenal of speed-trap pitches, most notably her fastball, fireball and elevator ball. And at the plate, if she talk her bat into meeting that ball, they're gonna go places. Sure, she's a klutz, but it's pretty obvious where she should play, and her sarcasm and cockiness is a more-easily-accepted diluted version of Tony's. And man, if they play each other....
3 - Kiesha "Flash" Phillips (4-4-2-3) dob 4/2
Kiesha's a clown, it's hard not to like her. (Except her name is spelled weird.) But she can field, she can hit, and she can run.
2 - Pete "Wheelie" Wheeler (3-4-3-3) dob 10/13
Pete's a little spacey, for sure.(Catchphrase: "....What am I s'posed to do again?" Or his batter chatter: "Don't score a touchdown...") But if you can get him going in the right direction....good luck catching up. The fastest kid anybody in the Neighborhood has ever seen, he can catch okay and hit amazingly. (His power range goes from ordinary bunting to home-run-strength.) The tales of his exploits in games would be hard to catalogue. In fact, they may even surpass the top player...
1 - Pablo "The Secret Weapon" Sanchez (4-4-3-4) dob 8/18
Could it be anyone else? Almost unmastered in everything. ESPECIALLY baseball. I mean, he's even got his own field(Casa de Pablo)!
That top tier was hard to rank, cause everyone is so closely matched in skills. It could easily have had a different arrangement; but for now, this will do.
My typical team: The Super-Duper Wombats, wearing orange, or Red Rockets, or Green Hornets. Outfield: Pablo, Achmed and Jocinda. Infield: Some combination of Pete, Mikey, Stephanie, Luanne and Billy Jean. Pitcher: Angela or Ricky. Catcher: Annie.
I'd like to see a game with the Wombats facing the Rockets with the following players: Wombats - Angela, Pete, Kiesha, Kenny, Tony, Dante, Achmed, Ashley and Billy Jean. Rockets - Ricky, Pablo, Jocinda, Annie, Luanne, Stephanie, Sidney, Mikey and Kimmy. Play it at Cement Gardens...yeah, that'd be something to watch.
The Rankings of Power-Up Pitches(so not counting fastballs, slowballs, and left/right hooks):
7 - Crazyball. It was actually pretty easy to hit, and you could hear it coming.
6 - Corkscrew: Same, harder to control where the ball went, but it was also relatively easy to connect with this pitch. And almost nobody could throw it very well.
5 - Spitball: Disgusting, and tough to get a good hold on.
4 - Slo-Mo: Maddening. If you were really patient, though, you could get a nice hit off this one.
3 - Elevator Ball: Surprisingly hard to throw well, and it usually resulted in a pop fly if misjudged.
2 - Fireball: Angela and Achmed were about the only people who could control this one accurately, and it was near-impossible to hit(though it could be turned into a grounder on rare occasions).
1 - Big Freeze: The most unfair pitch ever devised. Absolutely unhittable. And almost as tough to throw.
If you've made it this far, you either don't have anything else to do or you really loved Backyard Baseball. Either way, thanks for reading!
If you are(or were) a coach of the Bombers, Fishes, Giants, Hornets, Socks, Rockets, Melonheads, Monsters or Wombats, (or the All-Stars, but they never really counted, I thought, because A: It sounds arrogant and pretentious to call your team "the All-Stars", and B: Their logo was terrible.) Anyway, whichever team you're gonna be the manager of, you're gonna need to have some players. And you're gonna need to know your players' names, isn't that right? That's right. (Yes, that is a "Who's on First?" reference.)
(By the way, since we're referencing different diamond-related items, here's a link to a equally fictional news story about what they're doing now.)
But, anyway, it's pretty simple: I'm going to rank, from least to greatest, all 30 players in the league. Stats given reflect Hitting, Running, Pitching and Fielding, in that order, they were assigned by Humongous Entertainment.
Level One - THE GRUMPY CAT-LEVEL "NO". -
30 - Jorge "Bonkers" Garcia (2-2-2-2) Date of birth 10/17
Ugh....where to start? He can't field anything cleanly(which is helpful when he's on the other team), and he's almost an automatic strikeout when he's at the plate(which, again, is quite useful). I've rarely seen him pitch, but I doubt he could do that very well, either. Jorge just isn't athletic. And he's a rich snob. And he WEARS A TIE. And he's constantly fussing about not wanting to get dirty.
29 - Maria "Pinky" Luna (3-3-1-3) dob 7/23
28 - Ronny "The Pest" Dobbs (3-2-3-2) dob 8/10
He is and always will be "The Pest". He cries at the drop of a hat, and at all other times is just extremely whiny. There are few experiences more embarrassing in the Backyard Sports Universe than allowing Ronny to get a hit off you.
27 - Sally "The Boss" Dobbs (2-3-2-3) dob 11/11
Just as insufferable as her little brother, but even worse, if that's possible, due to her unbearable bossiness. As Vinnie the Gooch said, "The Boss is kinda like a 40-year-old in a kid's body." One small area of praise: if needed, she could be a decent relief pitcher.
26 - Reese "Big Toe" Worthington (2-3-1-3) dob 5/25
Poor Reese....what happened to him when he grew up? His asthma was so bad it kept him from playing almost every sport(though he was a decent soccer player), and he was just kind of....weak. Not exactly a sissy, but....well, small and unathletic. And what kind of nickname is "Big Toe", anyway? Always wished someone cooler would have had a birthday this close to mine.
25 - Ernie "Funnybones" Steele (2-2-3-4) dob 4/21
Ugh....sure, he could hit line drives pretty decently, and was about a mile tall, so could snatch balls no kid should have been able to get to without a ladder or Moon Boots, but his personality was SO AGGRAVATING! And his jokes weren't at all funny, and that giggling cackle of a laugh...."shivers in indignation". No telling how many holes I put into his family's shed or balls launched into the neighbors' swimming pool at Steele Stadium.
Level Two - "They're All Right, I Guess."
24 - Marky "Cootie" Du Bois (3-1-3-3) dob 9/6
Too much of a farmer. I mean, overalls are fine, and so is going barefoot, but carrying around a frog constantly? Also, when we were allowed to play ball in the pasture at the Du Bois Diamond it always seemed like a cheap rip-off of Dirt Yards(probably my favorite field of all time). Always hoped he'd get Billy Jean to notice him, though.
23 - Lisa "Mad Dog" Crockett (2-3-3-2) dob 12/4
Baseball just isn't Lisa's sport. Set her up as a linebacker on the football field or goalie in soccer, or get her on the ice for some hockey, and she'll be a great asset for your team. But baseball isn't aggressive enough, which is why she plays sports in the first place. Also, she has trouble getting along with people, so that really doesn't help much either.
22 - Dmitri "Paste" Petrovich (3-3-1-2) dob 6/9
If it's football, I'll take Dmitri as a lineman/kicker for sure, but anything else? Forget it! His defense is okay, but he can't hit worth anything. And he's far too brilliant, it rubs people the wrong way. he did build Mr. Clanky with Kenny, though; so that's something.
21 - Dante "Stretch" Robinson (2-4-3-2) dob 3/3
"I see London, I see France/I see your underpants!" has to be among the most annoyingly memorable infield chatter/jeers ever. And he has an Afro. His bat was too small to justify picking him very often, but that just meant he'd make several amazing defensive plays a game which would frustrate me to no end. And his appetite....haven't ya ever heard of moderation, dude?
20 - Vicki "Swan" Kawaguchi (1-4-3-4) dob 11/5
I'd occasionally play Vicki if I needed some fielding help and it was a fast playing surface(for example, Tin Can Alley or Cement Gardens). But she just wasn't one of those people I enjoyed spending time with....something to do with the obsession over ballet, probably. And the tiny space covered by her swing.
19 - Amir "Sticks" Khan (3-2-3-2) dob 9/1
Another person, like Ronny, Vicki or Angela, suffering the Little Sibling Effect: You constantly judge them based on the accomplishments of their older siblings. Amir was fine, I guess, but just seemed like he was always trying too hard to copy Achmed and never quite could match him. Probably dropping his air-guitar-bat coming to the plate didn't help much there. Can't hit anything inside.
18 - Gretchen "Jabberjaw" Hasselhoff (2-3-3-1) dob 5/31
SHE. WON'T. STOP. TALKING. That's mainly why I disliked her, and was also disappointed that her birthday was so close to mine. But she was a decent player otherwise.
17 - Kimmy "Twinkle Toes" Eckman (3-1-2-2) dob 6/22
Kimmy and sports(especially soccer, but anything really) go together "like chocolate and peanut butter", as she likes to say. Not spectacular at anything, but a solid player who'll try her hardest to help the team win. And her backyard makes a great field. Often picked for ensuring good team chemistry.
Level Three - The Good, But...
16 - Tony "Vec" Delvecchio (3-2-2-3) dob 7/16
Sure, Tony's cocky and brash and overconfident, and he wouldn't be the easiest guy to hang out with, y'know? But listen, Slick; he's got one heck of an arm, which can come in mighty handy on those close plays late in the game. Set him in the outfield, especially at Playground Commons, and you'll do pretty well, kid.
15 - Billy Jean "Crazy Legs" Blackwood (3-2-2-2) dob 1/26
She's extremely tall, with city dreams of becoming a model and moving to "Pair-eese". But she's as country in attitude as they come, and easy to get along with, too. Not much help at the plate except for occasional line-drive singles, but she's usually good for advancing runners already on base. And she's a great first baseman, even though sometimes she has trouble catching the ball.
14 - Mikey "Nugget" Thomas (4-1-2-3) dob 10/19
He has a never-ending cold, is slower than the last week of school, has a pet rock and lives with his grandparents because his parents died (supposedly in a house fire). But he's a pretty good infielder at second or short, and can hit the ball a mile if he connects well.
13 - Kenny "K-Man" Kawaguchi (2-4-3-2) dob 10/20
"Don't let the wheelchair fool ya," Kenny will be the first to say. He can play pretty well; contact hitter, above-average on the mound, and good fielding. If it's a slow surface, though(say Dirt Yards or Sandy Flats), his (literal) wheels really don't work so well.
12 - Stephanie "Bubbles" Morgan (3-3-2-3) dob 8/15
Stephanie LOVES baseball, as she'll gladly tell you about if you give her half a second. It's her life. Her dad was a minor leaguer, and he taught her everything she knows; including Babe Ruth's batting stance. (It doesn't help much if sneaky pitchers know she can't touch anything outside...heheheh.) She's a natural shortstop, though she can really play almost anywhere in the infield.
11 - Luanne "Lulu" Lui (2-4-3-1) dob 1/27
The youngest of the Backyard Kids, she's also one of the fastest there is. Bunt or weak grounder, and then a flash of little girl and inseparable pink teddy bear around the basepaths. She can also pitch surprisingly well, if needed.
10, 9 - Ashley "Little Smokey" and Sidney "Little Smokey" Webber (2-3-3-2) dob 2/18
Nobody has figured out a way to tell the Webbers apart, so it's probably best to play them together. If tennis was an official Backyard sport, they'd be world-class. It's not, though....but that natural athleticism pays off well in any sort of competition. They work best when they're working together, but can do almost as well on different teams. Besides, how can you dislike them? (Other unofficial sports they'd be amazing at: Volleyball, Frisbee, and mini-golf.)
8 - Ricky "Fella" Johnson (2-3-3-2) dob 2/14
Ricky's quiet, doesn't talk much if he can help it. He prefers to let his play talk for him; he's nearly unhittable when pitching(those slowballs and hooks will get ya every time), and a pretty good fielder besides. Of course, his ambling pace combined with laid-back swing mean a for-sure out on offense.
Level Four - Topps
7 - Annie "Flipper" Frazier (3-3-1-3) dob 9/18
Okay, I never really understood her lack of competitive-ness, and she's kind of a hippie, but she would make a fantastic teammate. Contact hitter, great catcher and overall team-encourager.
6 - Achmed "Axeman" Khan (4-3-2-2) dob 7/11
This dude rocks. Like, seriously. Kind of amazing he hasn't gone deaf with those massive headphones he wears(so were those, like, Beats before Beats existed?), but as much as he's into music outside of the game, on a baseball diamond he's pretty great, too. Doubles and triples, good fielding, decent pitcher for short periods, even a handful of stolen bases are possible with this guy on your team. And he's a terrific outfielder. (And what's even farther out than that: He's the third-best guy in the league.)
5 - Jocinda "MVP" Smith (4-2-2-4) dob 9/28
Jocinda is a great team leader; she'll get things done and her teammates will enjoy following her. That said, she's a very good athlete, but not the best. She's a good bet anywhere in the infield or outfield, though a little slow. Ground-rule double hitter, with a Kryptonite-level weakness of inability to hit pitches low and inside.
4 - Angela "Sugar Pop" Delvecchio (3-1-4-1) dob 12/20
What Annie lacks in competitive spirit; Angela more than makes up for on the mound. Batters dread facing her arsenal of speed-trap pitches, most notably her fastball, fireball and elevator ball. And at the plate, if she talk her bat into meeting that ball, they're gonna go places. Sure, she's a klutz, but it's pretty obvious where she should play, and her sarcasm and cockiness is a more-easily-accepted diluted version of Tony's. And man, if they play each other....
3 - Kiesha "Flash" Phillips (4-4-2-3) dob 4/2
Kiesha's a clown, it's hard not to like her. (Except her name is spelled weird.) But she can field, she can hit, and she can run.
2 - Pete "Wheelie" Wheeler (3-4-3-3) dob 10/13
Pete's a little spacey, for sure.(Catchphrase: "....What am I s'posed to do again?" Or his batter chatter: "Don't score a touchdown...") But if you can get him going in the right direction....good luck catching up. The fastest kid anybody in the Neighborhood has ever seen, he can catch okay and hit amazingly. (His power range goes from ordinary bunting to home-run-strength.) The tales of his exploits in games would be hard to catalogue. In fact, they may even surpass the top player...
1 - Pablo "The Secret Weapon" Sanchez (4-4-3-4) dob 8/18
Could it be anyone else? Almost unmastered in everything. ESPECIALLY baseball. I mean, he's even got his own field(Casa de Pablo)!
That top tier was hard to rank, cause everyone is so closely matched in skills. It could easily have had a different arrangement; but for now, this will do.
My typical team: The Super-Duper Wombats, wearing orange, or Red Rockets, or Green Hornets. Outfield: Pablo, Achmed and Jocinda. Infield: Some combination of Pete, Mikey, Stephanie, Luanne and Billy Jean. Pitcher: Angela or Ricky. Catcher: Annie.
I'd like to see a game with the Wombats facing the Rockets with the following players: Wombats - Angela, Pete, Kiesha, Kenny, Tony, Dante, Achmed, Ashley and Billy Jean. Rockets - Ricky, Pablo, Jocinda, Annie, Luanne, Stephanie, Sidney, Mikey and Kimmy. Play it at Cement Gardens...yeah, that'd be something to watch.
The Rankings of Power-Up Pitches(so not counting fastballs, slowballs, and left/right hooks):
7 - Crazyball. It was actually pretty easy to hit, and you could hear it coming.
6 - Corkscrew: Same, harder to control where the ball went, but it was also relatively easy to connect with this pitch. And almost nobody could throw it very well.
5 - Spitball: Disgusting, and tough to get a good hold on.
4 - Slo-Mo: Maddening. If you were really patient, though, you could get a nice hit off this one.
3 - Elevator Ball: Surprisingly hard to throw well, and it usually resulted in a pop fly if misjudged.
2 - Fireball: Angela and Achmed were about the only people who could control this one accurately, and it was near-impossible to hit(though it could be turned into a grounder on rare occasions).
1 - Big Freeze: The most unfair pitch ever devised. Absolutely unhittable. And almost as tough to throw.
If you've made it this far, you either don't have anything else to do or you really loved Backyard Baseball. Either way, thanks for reading!
Saturday, April 19, 2014
Weekend Update
Things are going better than they have for most of the week. Sure, there's still tons of homework and stuff to get done, but the weather's nice. And it's been a productive day, so that's good.
I forget how beautiful this campus is sometimes.
The news show was spliced together Wednesday night; it went about as well as we expected. Still looks kind of homemade and un-professional, but we're a bunch of college students with other courses to worry about at the same time. And we made the best use we could of with the equipment we had. The teacher wasn't thrilled with the editing quality of my news story, but she said the content was great.
Went to see the play Thursday night and enjoyed that. It was different; but good. Very well-acted, with a lot of zingers and accents. The lack of props was a little distracting, though. Found myself wondering what a movie version of the story would look like, and what the other 33 audience members thought of the show. The cast did really well; portraying a slick New York radio salesman, an average farmer, a crazy sheltered blind girl, freaky Methodist pastor and refined schoolteacher throughout the tale.
Then talked with Jon and Amanda once I got back, which was really helpful, it was very good to hear from and catch up with them.
Friday was productive - included classes, more conversations with Jon and Manda and more homework - and then I went over to Grandpa and Robbie's for the night, we're all very sick of school by now. Gotten several reports written and almost finished editing the final clips of the last SWAT shows today.
For tonight and tomorrow: Keep working on homework, and if there's time maybe see if there's a movie on TV or Netflix.
I forget how beautiful this campus is sometimes.
The news show was spliced together Wednesday night; it went about as well as we expected. Still looks kind of homemade and un-professional, but we're a bunch of college students with other courses to worry about at the same time. And we made the best use we could of with the equipment we had. The teacher wasn't thrilled with the editing quality of my news story, but she said the content was great.
Went to see the play Thursday night and enjoyed that. It was different; but good. Very well-acted, with a lot of zingers and accents. The lack of props was a little distracting, though. Found myself wondering what a movie version of the story would look like, and what the other 33 audience members thought of the show. The cast did really well; portraying a slick New York radio salesman, an average farmer, a crazy sheltered blind girl, freaky Methodist pastor and refined schoolteacher throughout the tale.
Then talked with Jon and Amanda once I got back, which was really helpful, it was very good to hear from and catch up with them.
Friday was productive - included classes, more conversations with Jon and Manda and more homework - and then I went over to Grandpa and Robbie's for the night, we're all very sick of school by now. Gotten several reports written and almost finished editing the final clips of the last SWAT shows today.
For tonight and tomorrow: Keep working on homework, and if there's time maybe see if there's a movie on TV or Netflix.
Thursday, April 17, 2014
SWAT Quotes of Spring 2014
More funny, awkward and interesting quotes overheard from the SWAT family.
11-18-13, cooking in the kitchen before the one of the last fall practices starts...Wes: "Hey guys, what's up?" Haley: "Oh, not much. Just that Holly is trying to burn the whole building down." Holly, indignantly: "I am not!" Haley fires back: "Ya sure? Cause if I hadn't helped you with that stove's settings..."
11-18-13, Becca and Haley are talking about being single. Haley: "Yeah...I know there's somebody out there eventually for me. But I think he must have died of a childhood disease, or gotten run over by a car, or else he lives on the other side of the planet and doesn't speak English." Becca: "So? You could communicate by baking food like this, and y'all could just point at stuff."
11-18-13, practicing our second silent skit for the end-of-semester BCM meeting. After about eight rehearsals of bruises, scrapes, carpet burns and slapping Kevin and Samantha, several of us say excitedly, "I like playing a demon! It's fun." In the middle of it, Deb and Daniel P. both come in at different times and stand there for a minute, wondering if we've perhaps lost our minds. (We're kind of the loose cannon of BCM ministries...) "Uh....what're you guys doing?" "We're practicing! What's it look like?!" "Um....I'm not sure..." "Yes, of course we're practicing. What else do we do?"
11-21-13, heading back to Tahlequah after getting lost in Sallisaw, Becca driving, Jacob shotgun, with me, Susan and Elizabeth in the back. Susan says to Elizabeth randomly, "...I think I'd like my cat to have your personality, and not mine; I wouldn't like a cat that was like me. But you would make a good cat... " We stare at her. "I'm really tired, okay?! Don't judge me."
12-2-13, after the last fall BCM meeting, we're still wearing our demon costumes from the silent skit(each with a sign on their shirt depicting their specialty; Adultery, Lust, Pride, Gluttony, Murder, etc). Samantha's husband Nick congratulates us on the performance. (To me) "Oh, by the way....you don't happen to struggle with pride, by any chance, do you?" I shrug and grin it off, seeing he's teasing. "A little bit, but doesn't everybody?" He nods. "I thought so....it's kinda written all over you."
1-13-14, There's free biscuits and gravy down in the basement that Deb made after the first BCM meeting of spring semester, everyone from every type of ministry is down there. TJ, Jacob, Susan, Elizabeth, me and James are all talking, with Holly, Caleb, Skylar, Ja Li Si, Samantha and Haley all somewhere nearby. James brought a friend along, so we introduce ourselves and go on with whatever we were doing, to show we're friendly and will give him space, you know. We're all yelling over the top of each other, conversation mainly revolving around James-germs being in everyone's apple juice and jokes about Bubba Jacob being a polygamist. At one point, Elizabeth asks completely seriously, "Am I allowed to slap him(James)?" I think half a second. "Yeah, go ahead." She reaches across the table and slaps him lightly across the face. James' friend Jordan looks horrified. Susan, at McDonald's later that night: "We probably terrified that guy...."
1-13-14, after the BCM meeting, Jacob, Elizabeth, Susan, TJ, James and I all head to McDonald's for a coffee run to catch up. What followed was two hours of conversation and laughter ranging from Princess Bride quotes to riddles from The Hobbit to complaining about school to complaining about the government to some really dark off-the-wall comments....somewhere in there Elizabeth says, "Wes, you are like, the king of leaving really awkward phone messages. Just sayin'..."
1-13-14, the guys jump in James' red Firebird and we got there and had to wait for the girls, TJ swings open the door and enters dramatically(well, she is a theater major...). "I am a sorceress." and immediately vanishes towards the bathroom. We look at each other. "Okay....?" Elizabeth and Susan come inside, catch our puzzled expressions. "No, seriously! We got green lights all the way down Muskogee!" "EVERY SINGLE ONE of them! I have no clue how she did it!" (You kind of have to know Tahlequah geography to get this one, but Muskogee Avenue is one of the two main streets, and the stoplights are programmed to go red every time there's a car coming. Every time.)
1-13-14, Still at McDonald's, we're in the middle of a discussion about whether James or TJ could murder somebody. "No, James is too obvious; so he couldn't-" "TJ kinda is, too-" "I can't see Bubba Jacob killing someone, either. He's too nice-" "I was just thinking that about you, Susan-" Then Elizabeth jumps in. "They always say it's the quiet ones who come unhinged or get away with it....therefore I'm betting on Wes. Or me..."
1-13-14, Jacob mock-proposes to TJ, much to her frustration and the amusement of the McDonald's employees standing around. The rest of us make a big deal about if that really happened we needed video evidence, and the girls begin complaining about how humiliating it would be to actually be proposed to in a McDonald's. Spontaneously on cue, perfectly together, Susan, Elizabeth, Jacob and I burst out "MAWWIAGE. MAWWIAGE is what BWINGS us toGEtha TODAY. DAT BWESSED AWWANGEMENT, dat DWEAM WiFFin a dweam...."
1-13-14, just after that and the naturally following exchange of witty Florinese banter, James comments, "I've only seen that movie, like, maybe twice, so I can't quote it like you guys can." With incredulous looks, the five of us turn and shout "You WHAT??!!" "HOW is that possible?" "Okay, we ARE SO watching it together sometime." "Heck yeah we are."
1-20-14, waiting for the first spring practice to start, Becca flops down on the couch in the living room and it flies backward and almost falls over. "Don't tell anyone I did that." "You mean, like not tell Jacob or Elizabeth?" I ask innocently. "No! They'd never let me live it down." "Yeah, I can just see it....'What happened to Becca?' 'She lost a fight with a couch.'"
1-20-14, still waiting on everyone else to show up, we search for the basement light switch for ten minutes in complete darkness until Justin walks in. "What are you guys doing?" "Looking for the light switch!" He walks over to the stairs, flips the switch hidden there and the lights come on. "You guys didn't know where the light switch was, after all the time we've spent down here...."
1-20-14, Haley during welcoming speech, "...and we've got two shows in Sallisaw in February-" Everyone involved on that trip last fall snickers. "That's assuming we don't get lost," I mutter. By now everyone has totally lost it, hysterical laughter. "We promise we'll get there this time!" Samantha declares. Still snorting at the memory, we exchange dubious looks. "Yeah, and I might be driving the bus this semester!" Haley adds. Now the expressions are Buzz and Woody's "A puppy?" faces. .
1-20-14, this is Samantha's greeting to Jacob: "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?! Didn't your aunt just die?! Shouldn't you be with your family?!" Jacob and Elizabeth together. "My aunt...?" "No, him! Didn't you text me this afternoon saying you wouldn't be here today because your aunt died and you had to make a trip to Texas?" "No....that would take some dedication..."
1-20-14, during "The Powers That Be", Quincy the uncertain angel(me) says to the Commanding Officer(Haley), "Well, sir, there are two of us here, and-" "Yes, there ARE two of you there. I'm glad you can count." "Thank you, sir. I've watched Sesame Street." "Good! More of you should do that. And today's letter of the day is H."
1-27-14, Me and Jacob are shooting pool before practice, he's telling a story to Elizabeth. "So it's like, 10:30 last night, I'm just sitting on my bed watching Netflix, cause there's no way I could get to sleep with that wind. Anyway, Skylar starts banging on my door and I open it and he says, 'Do you have extra forks?' I mean, yeah, I do, but...isn't that just the most random thing to say to a neighbor ever?" Caleb, listening. "He mentioned he used my microwave, don't have any idea what he could've been eating, though." (They're roommates.) Me, "What I want to know is; why were Skylar and Ja Li Si eating dinner at 10:30?" This opens up a new trail of late-snack habits; Elizabeth and I will both eat peanut butter straight out of the jar(same with Nutella), Jacob will do neither.
1-27-14, Samantha asks brightly, "So, who's got plans for Valentine's Day?" All heads swivel to look at Skylar(Ja Li Si was in worship practice; they were dating at the time) and then at Jacob and TJ. As for the rest of us, Kevin, Susan, Becca, Justin, James, Caleb and Holly giver Samantha "Are you kidding?" looks while Elizabeth and I add the audio portion of the message with sarcastic snorted laughter.
1-27-14, Haley ditches her commanding drill-sergeant voice as the Commanding Officer for "The Powers That Be", using instead an unnervingly sweet gentle voice. By the end we were pleading with her to never do that again. "I'm a little frightened right now." "Please yell at us again...so much easier to be a soldier to." "And we like being called maggots!"
1-27-14, during the middle of the gladiator scene for "One Willing Monk", James pulls out an imaginary pistol and shoots me with it!? I try to look appropriately bewildered, and that pretty much ruined the whole take for us and the audience. (That one gave us so much trouble...)
2-3-14, while not technically SWAT-related, still worth mentioning. At BCM basketball practice at First Baptist-Tahlequah after the Monday night meeting, Caleb to other players standing within earshot on the sidelines watching one of the scrimmages: "Well, we may not win State, but we'll at least have the best hair on the court."
2-13-14, Jacob to Ja Li Si during the Thursday night meeting, who's wearing a sleeveless shirt on a 50something degree day. "How are you doing that?" "Doing what, wearing this?" "Yeah! It's like, cold." She shrugs. "It's not that bad." "Right, I mean, it's not that bad compared to what it has been, but-" "It's the Indian blood." "...Oh. Well, can you share some of it, please?" "I don't think so....I like my blood, think I'll keep it." "Come on, just a bit....I'm a skinny guy, freezing over here." "Oh, yeah, we're just gonna have a transfusion done right here in the basement..."
2-13-14, me, Jacob and Elizabeth are talking about something, she starts singing "Here comes Peter Cottontail..." I jump in eagerly. "...hoppin' down the bunny trail...." Together: "Hippity-Hoppity, EASTER'S ON ITS WAY!!!!" Elizabeth to me, "Where were you in my freshman philosophy class? Me and this guy named Chad used to sing that all the time." Jacob, with quizzical expression: "I've never heard that song in my entire life."
2-17-14, Elizabeth and I are shooting pool before practice. I slap in one of her balls by mistake(This happened three times. And then I scratched on the 8-ball.), the following exchange is slow, pausing often as we alternate shooting with speaking. Elizabeth: "Hey, thanks. That makes my job a little easier." Wes mock-seriously: "You're not welcome." She gives me a look. "Hey, what happened to hospitality?!" "That disappears whenever there's competition involved." I reply matter-of-factly. She thinks a minute, then grins slightly. "...That's true."
2-23-14, Samantha filling in for James during pre-show rehearsal of "Push". She kept pronouncing "motor" as "mow-TOOR", as opposed to the more usual "MOAT-er". We couldn't help snickering. Actually, that was basically the theme of that entire rehearsal....for "Monk" the gladiators thumb-wrestled due to not having any of their weapons around.
2-23-14, while killing time just before our first show of the semester, James, Susan and I play Meow That Tune. We totally twice-up-the-barrel-once-down-the-sided it.
2-23-14, Haley as the Commanding Officer in "Powers"; "...they're binding empathy, tradition and religion!..." That'd be a good thing, sir, wouldn't it? Much better than "apathy, etc", as the line actually goes.
2-24-14, Samantha to James, talking about a hastily-prepared set of wooden swords for "Monk":... "We ARE NOT using these! They're got snails in them!" Those within earshot nod vigorously, then do a double-take. "...I said 'snails', didn't I?...I meant 'nails'." James, quietly: "They're actually screws, but..."
3-24-14, during practice of "Flow", Susan pauses over one of her lines, perplexed. "Where are we going next? I'm confused, not sure what to say there." Samantha: "Just say you're donating to Blank Church, which is led by Pastor Blankety-Blank ." (Pause) Silence for about half a second, then everyone falls apart howling with laughter. "That was not what I meant, you guys! I did not mean to act like I was cussing." (To Susan) "Uh, just say the BCM for right now in practice."
3-24-14, killing time in the living room, TJ sneaks up quietly behind Bubba Jacob and gives him a bear hug. Everybody greets her excitedly, Drew rushes up to her. "TJ! I've got something to tell you!" Susan protests, horrified, having just revealed something embarrassing and tease-worthy. Drew, stage-whispering: "James gave me a magnet!" She looks unimpressed. "Okay, so?" Susan rolls her eyes. "That's not what he meant to say..." She whispers in TJ's ear. TJ recoils fifteen feet backwards in absolute horror, shaking with indignation. "That did NOT happen!" The rest of us immediately die laughing, literally rolling on the floor. Once she recovers enough to speak, Susan nods dejectedly. "Yeah, it did...."
4-3-14, everyone's commenting on how soaked I am after walking across campus in a thunderstorm. Ja Li Si: "Did you just walk all the way from Ross in the rain? What did it feel like?"
4-4-14, this week's episode of Flapjack Friday with the Lunch Bunch became a singalong to the Backstreet Boys and NSYNC, led by James, Ja Li Si, Daniel P. and Jordan. It was really hysterical to watch.
4-6-14, backstage before the human video, I'm struggling with tying my robe back to where I can walk. James: "Can't you just tie it single?" "Nope. This is the only way I can get it to stay, otherwise it'd just fall off, I'm too small." James: "So get fatter." Susan raises an eyebrow. "How does he do that?" "Well, I should amend that to 'Get fat'; you have no volume at all."
4-6-14, Jacob is telling me and Elizabeth a story about people he works with at Wal-Mart while we're greeting people coming in to the church. "You wouldn't believe how many people come up and ask me, 'How many kids do you have?' I guess it's because I'm good with kids, I don't know...I'm like, 'Um...none right now, I've got a long ways to go until that happens.'" Very gleeful snickers from his audience.
4-6-14, Elderly Man from Cookson Hills, walking into church. "Mornin'! You're with the SWAT team, is that right?" I nod. "Yep, that's right, thanks for coming." "Well, good! I feel safer already, knowing the building is secure and all." Smiling, he goes and finds a seat.
4-6-14, thanking those who came to the Cookson service, much like our greeting-session. A little girl comes up to Jacob and says, "Were you the one who was behind the mask?" He nods. "That's right, that was me." The little girl nods and points at her sister, "She wanted to know, and disagreed when I said it was you." Then, she adds this zinger: "You weren't very scary." (This same little girl also blurted out how old the preacher was after he'd mentioned it was his birthday.)
4-6-14, riding back from Cookson on the way to the BCM, and from there to Bob and Deb's, trying to figure out who's riding with who. Holly: "I can have some people come with me...I just need to clean, like, 12 gallons of bleach out of the front seat." Everyone else predictably over-reacts, giving her a hard time. Deb: "I'm just a wee bit concerned about that statement. What have you been doing, Holly?" We also called her "Haley" all morning to bug her.
4-6-14, everyone's gathered at Bob and Deb's house for lunch, Bob to Samantha's husband Nick: "I thought you weren't wearing a shirt, and I wondered, 'When'd he get all those tattoos all over his chest?'" Nick to Samantha: "Bet you didn't know about this when we got married, huh?"
4-6-14, Bob, driving the van to Muskogee as we're pulling out of the BCM parking lot. "Does anybody know how to get wherever we're going?" After a minute, Justin says he's pretty sure he knows how to find the church. Bob: "You're pretty sure you know the directions?!" Becca: "I'd trust Justin's 'pretty sure' a lot more than Jacob's, just sayin'." Most of the rest of us(who were a part of the Sallisaw experiment) start laughing in agreement.
4-6-14, James in monologue: "...Take it from Telemachus, a monkey in the first century."
4-6-14, the elderly friendly pastor of Muskogee Central is chatting with me, Justin, Becca, Elizabeth and Jacob; about teaching and marriage advice. His Rule #1 - "Learn how to say 'Yes, dear', and you'll live to learn everything else you need to know."
4-13-14, Samantha as the Commanding Officer in "Powers": "...Next, you'll remember the Bible-smuggling turkey. Er, the Bible-smuggling incident in Turkey..."
11-18-13, cooking in the kitchen before the one of the last fall practices starts...Wes: "Hey guys, what's up?" Haley: "Oh, not much. Just that Holly is trying to burn the whole building down." Holly, indignantly: "I am not!" Haley fires back: "Ya sure? Cause if I hadn't helped you with that stove's settings..."
11-18-13, Becca and Haley are talking about being single. Haley: "Yeah...I know there's somebody out there eventually for me. But I think he must have died of a childhood disease, or gotten run over by a car, or else he lives on the other side of the planet and doesn't speak English." Becca: "So? You could communicate by baking food like this, and y'all could just point at stuff."
11-18-13, practicing our second silent skit for the end-of-semester BCM meeting. After about eight rehearsals of bruises, scrapes, carpet burns and slapping Kevin and Samantha, several of us say excitedly, "I like playing a demon! It's fun." In the middle of it, Deb and Daniel P. both come in at different times and stand there for a minute, wondering if we've perhaps lost our minds. (We're kind of the loose cannon of BCM ministries...) "Uh....what're you guys doing?" "We're practicing! What's it look like?!" "Um....I'm not sure..." "Yes, of course we're practicing. What else do we do?"
11-21-13, heading back to Tahlequah after getting lost in Sallisaw, Becca driving, Jacob shotgun, with me, Susan and Elizabeth in the back. Susan says to Elizabeth randomly, "...I think I'd like my cat to have your personality, and not mine; I wouldn't like a cat that was like me. But you would make a good cat... " We stare at her. "I'm really tired, okay?! Don't judge me."
12-2-13, after the last fall BCM meeting, we're still wearing our demon costumes from the silent skit(each with a sign on their shirt depicting their specialty; Adultery, Lust, Pride, Gluttony, Murder, etc). Samantha's husband Nick congratulates us on the performance. (To me) "Oh, by the way....you don't happen to struggle with pride, by any chance, do you?" I shrug and grin it off, seeing he's teasing. "A little bit, but doesn't everybody?" He nods. "I thought so....it's kinda written all over you."
1-13-14, There's free biscuits and gravy down in the basement that Deb made after the first BCM meeting of spring semester, everyone from every type of ministry is down there. TJ, Jacob, Susan, Elizabeth, me and James are all talking, with Holly, Caleb, Skylar, Ja Li Si, Samantha and Haley all somewhere nearby. James brought a friend along, so we introduce ourselves and go on with whatever we were doing, to show we're friendly and will give him space, you know. We're all yelling over the top of each other, conversation mainly revolving around James-germs being in everyone's apple juice and jokes about Bubba Jacob being a polygamist. At one point, Elizabeth asks completely seriously, "Am I allowed to slap him(James)?" I think half a second. "Yeah, go ahead." She reaches across the table and slaps him lightly across the face. James' friend Jordan looks horrified. Susan, at McDonald's later that night: "We probably terrified that guy...."
1-13-14, after the BCM meeting, Jacob, Elizabeth, Susan, TJ, James and I all head to McDonald's for a coffee run to catch up. What followed was two hours of conversation and laughter ranging from Princess Bride quotes to riddles from The Hobbit to complaining about school to complaining about the government to some really dark off-the-wall comments....somewhere in there Elizabeth says, "Wes, you are like, the king of leaving really awkward phone messages. Just sayin'..."
1-13-14, the guys jump in James' red Firebird and we got there and had to wait for the girls, TJ swings open the door and enters dramatically(well, she is a theater major...). "I am a sorceress." and immediately vanishes towards the bathroom. We look at each other. "Okay....?" Elizabeth and Susan come inside, catch our puzzled expressions. "No, seriously! We got green lights all the way down Muskogee!" "EVERY SINGLE ONE of them! I have no clue how she did it!" (You kind of have to know Tahlequah geography to get this one, but Muskogee Avenue is one of the two main streets, and the stoplights are programmed to go red every time there's a car coming. Every time.)
1-13-14, Still at McDonald's, we're in the middle of a discussion about whether James or TJ could murder somebody. "No, James is too obvious; so he couldn't-" "TJ kinda is, too-" "I can't see Bubba Jacob killing someone, either. He's too nice-" "I was just thinking that about you, Susan-" Then Elizabeth jumps in. "They always say it's the quiet ones who come unhinged or get away with it....therefore I'm betting on Wes. Or me..."
1-13-14, Jacob mock-proposes to TJ, much to her frustration and the amusement of the McDonald's employees standing around. The rest of us make a big deal about if that really happened we needed video evidence, and the girls begin complaining about how humiliating it would be to actually be proposed to in a McDonald's. Spontaneously on cue, perfectly together, Susan, Elizabeth, Jacob and I burst out "MAWWIAGE. MAWWIAGE is what BWINGS us toGEtha TODAY. DAT BWESSED AWWANGEMENT, dat DWEAM WiFFin a dweam...."
1-13-14, just after that and the naturally following exchange of witty Florinese banter, James comments, "I've only seen that movie, like, maybe twice, so I can't quote it like you guys can." With incredulous looks, the five of us turn and shout "You WHAT??!!" "HOW is that possible?" "Okay, we ARE SO watching it together sometime." "Heck yeah we are."
1-20-14, waiting for the first spring practice to start, Becca flops down on the couch in the living room and it flies backward and almost falls over. "Don't tell anyone I did that." "You mean, like not tell Jacob or Elizabeth?" I ask innocently. "No! They'd never let me live it down." "Yeah, I can just see it....'What happened to Becca?' 'She lost a fight with a couch.'"
1-20-14, still waiting on everyone else to show up, we search for the basement light switch for ten minutes in complete darkness until Justin walks in. "What are you guys doing?" "Looking for the light switch!" He walks over to the stairs, flips the switch hidden there and the lights come on. "You guys didn't know where the light switch was, after all the time we've spent down here...."
1-20-14, Haley during welcoming speech, "...and we've got two shows in Sallisaw in February-" Everyone involved on that trip last fall snickers. "That's assuming we don't get lost," I mutter. By now everyone has totally lost it, hysterical laughter. "We promise we'll get there this time!" Samantha declares. Still snorting at the memory, we exchange dubious looks. "Yeah, and I might be driving the bus this semester!" Haley adds. Now the expressions are Buzz and Woody's "A puppy?" faces. .
1-20-14, this is Samantha's greeting to Jacob: "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?! Didn't your aunt just die?! Shouldn't you be with your family?!" Jacob and Elizabeth together. "My aunt...?" "No, him! Didn't you text me this afternoon saying you wouldn't be here today because your aunt died and you had to make a trip to Texas?" "No....that would take some dedication..."
1-20-14, during "The Powers That Be", Quincy the uncertain angel(me) says to the Commanding Officer(Haley), "Well, sir, there are two of us here, and-" "Yes, there ARE two of you there. I'm glad you can count." "Thank you, sir. I've watched Sesame Street." "Good! More of you should do that. And today's letter of the day is H."
1-27-14, Me and Jacob are shooting pool before practice, he's telling a story to Elizabeth. "So it's like, 10:30 last night, I'm just sitting on my bed watching Netflix, cause there's no way I could get to sleep with that wind. Anyway, Skylar starts banging on my door and I open it and he says, 'Do you have extra forks?' I mean, yeah, I do, but...isn't that just the most random thing to say to a neighbor ever?" Caleb, listening. "He mentioned he used my microwave, don't have any idea what he could've been eating, though." (They're roommates.) Me, "What I want to know is; why were Skylar and Ja Li Si eating dinner at 10:30?" This opens up a new trail of late-snack habits; Elizabeth and I will both eat peanut butter straight out of the jar(same with Nutella), Jacob will do neither.
1-27-14, Samantha asks brightly, "So, who's got plans for Valentine's Day?" All heads swivel to look at Skylar(Ja Li Si was in worship practice; they were dating at the time) and then at Jacob and TJ. As for the rest of us, Kevin, Susan, Becca, Justin, James, Caleb and Holly giver Samantha "Are you kidding?" looks while Elizabeth and I add the audio portion of the message with sarcastic snorted laughter.
1-27-14, Haley ditches her commanding drill-sergeant voice as the Commanding Officer for "The Powers That Be", using instead an unnervingly sweet gentle voice. By the end we were pleading with her to never do that again. "I'm a little frightened right now." "Please yell at us again...so much easier to be a soldier to." "And we like being called maggots!"
1-27-14, during the middle of the gladiator scene for "One Willing Monk", James pulls out an imaginary pistol and shoots me with it!? I try to look appropriately bewildered, and that pretty much ruined the whole take for us and the audience. (That one gave us so much trouble...)
2-3-14, while not technically SWAT-related, still worth mentioning. At BCM basketball practice at First Baptist-Tahlequah after the Monday night meeting, Caleb to other players standing within earshot on the sidelines watching one of the scrimmages: "Well, we may not win State, but we'll at least have the best hair on the court."
2-13-14, Jacob to Ja Li Si during the Thursday night meeting, who's wearing a sleeveless shirt on a 50something degree day. "How are you doing that?" "Doing what, wearing this?" "Yeah! It's like, cold." She shrugs. "It's not that bad." "Right, I mean, it's not that bad compared to what it has been, but-" "It's the Indian blood." "...Oh. Well, can you share some of it, please?" "I don't think so....I like my blood, think I'll keep it." "Come on, just a bit....I'm a skinny guy, freezing over here." "Oh, yeah, we're just gonna have a transfusion done right here in the basement..."
2-13-14, me, Jacob and Elizabeth are talking about something, she starts singing "Here comes Peter Cottontail..." I jump in eagerly. "...hoppin' down the bunny trail...." Together: "Hippity-Hoppity, EASTER'S ON ITS WAY!!!!" Elizabeth to me, "Where were you in my freshman philosophy class? Me and this guy named Chad used to sing that all the time." Jacob, with quizzical expression: "I've never heard that song in my entire life."
2-17-14, Elizabeth and I are shooting pool before practice. I slap in one of her balls by mistake(This happened three times. And then I scratched on the 8-ball.), the following exchange is slow, pausing often as we alternate shooting with speaking. Elizabeth: "Hey, thanks. That makes my job a little easier." Wes mock-seriously: "You're not welcome." She gives me a look. "Hey, what happened to hospitality?!" "That disappears whenever there's competition involved." I reply matter-of-factly. She thinks a minute, then grins slightly. "...That's true."
2-23-14, Samantha filling in for James during pre-show rehearsal of "Push". She kept pronouncing "motor" as "mow-TOOR", as opposed to the more usual "MOAT-er". We couldn't help snickering. Actually, that was basically the theme of that entire rehearsal....for "Monk" the gladiators thumb-wrestled due to not having any of their weapons around.
2-23-14, while killing time just before our first show of the semester, James, Susan and I play Meow That Tune. We totally twice-up-the-barrel-once-down-the-sided it.
2-23-14, Haley as the Commanding Officer in "Powers"; "...they're binding empathy, tradition and religion!..." That'd be a good thing, sir, wouldn't it? Much better than "apathy, etc", as the line actually goes.
2-24-14, Samantha to James, talking about a hastily-prepared set of wooden swords for "Monk":... "We ARE NOT using these! They're got snails in them!" Those within earshot nod vigorously, then do a double-take. "...I said 'snails', didn't I?...I meant 'nails'." James, quietly: "They're actually screws, but..."
3-24-14, during practice of "Flow", Susan pauses over one of her lines, perplexed. "Where are we going next? I'm confused, not sure what to say there." Samantha: "Just say you're donating to Blank Church, which is led by Pastor Blankety-Blank ." (Pause) Silence for about half a second, then everyone falls apart howling with laughter. "That was not what I meant, you guys! I did not mean to act like I was cussing." (To Susan) "Uh, just say the BCM for right now in practice."
3-24-14, killing time in the living room, TJ sneaks up quietly behind Bubba Jacob and gives him a bear hug. Everybody greets her excitedly, Drew rushes up to her. "TJ! I've got something to tell you!" Susan protests, horrified, having just revealed something embarrassing and tease-worthy. Drew, stage-whispering: "James gave me a magnet!" She looks unimpressed. "Okay, so?" Susan rolls her eyes. "That's not what he meant to say..." She whispers in TJ's ear. TJ recoils fifteen feet backwards in absolute horror, shaking with indignation. "That did NOT happen!" The rest of us immediately die laughing, literally rolling on the floor. Once she recovers enough to speak, Susan nods dejectedly. "Yeah, it did...."
4-3-14, everyone's commenting on how soaked I am after walking across campus in a thunderstorm. Ja Li Si: "Did you just walk all the way from Ross in the rain? What did it feel like?"
4-4-14, this week's episode of Flapjack Friday with the Lunch Bunch became a singalong to the Backstreet Boys and NSYNC, led by James, Ja Li Si, Daniel P. and Jordan. It was really hysterical to watch.
4-6-14, backstage before the human video, I'm struggling with tying my robe back to where I can walk. James: "Can't you just tie it single?" "Nope. This is the only way I can get it to stay, otherwise it'd just fall off, I'm too small." James: "So get fatter." Susan raises an eyebrow. "How does he do that?" "Well, I should amend that to 'Get fat'; you have no volume at all."
4-6-14, Jacob is telling me and Elizabeth a story about people he works with at Wal-Mart while we're greeting people coming in to the church. "You wouldn't believe how many people come up and ask me, 'How many kids do you have?' I guess it's because I'm good with kids, I don't know...I'm like, 'Um...none right now, I've got a long ways to go until that happens.'" Very gleeful snickers from his audience.
4-6-14, Elderly Man from Cookson Hills, walking into church. "Mornin'! You're with the SWAT team, is that right?" I nod. "Yep, that's right, thanks for coming." "Well, good! I feel safer already, knowing the building is secure and all." Smiling, he goes and finds a seat.
4-6-14, thanking those who came to the Cookson service, much like our greeting-session. A little girl comes up to Jacob and says, "Were you the one who was behind the mask?" He nods. "That's right, that was me." The little girl nods and points at her sister, "She wanted to know, and disagreed when I said it was you." Then, she adds this zinger: "You weren't very scary." (This same little girl also blurted out how old the preacher was after he'd mentioned it was his birthday.)
4-6-14, riding back from Cookson on the way to the BCM, and from there to Bob and Deb's, trying to figure out who's riding with who. Holly: "I can have some people come with me...I just need to clean, like, 12 gallons of bleach out of the front seat." Everyone else predictably over-reacts, giving her a hard time. Deb: "I'm just a wee bit concerned about that statement. What have you been doing, Holly?" We also called her "Haley" all morning to bug her.
4-6-14, everyone's gathered at Bob and Deb's house for lunch, Bob to Samantha's husband Nick: "I thought you weren't wearing a shirt, and I wondered, 'When'd he get all those tattoos all over his chest?'" Nick to Samantha: "Bet you didn't know about this when we got married, huh?"
4-6-14, Bob, driving the van to Muskogee as we're pulling out of the BCM parking lot. "Does anybody know how to get wherever we're going?" After a minute, Justin says he's pretty sure he knows how to find the church. Bob: "You're pretty sure you know the directions?!" Becca: "I'd trust Justin's 'pretty sure' a lot more than Jacob's, just sayin'." Most of the rest of us(who were a part of the Sallisaw experiment) start laughing in agreement.
4-6-14, James in monologue: "...Take it from Telemachus, a monkey in the first century."
4-6-14, the elderly friendly pastor of Muskogee Central is chatting with me, Justin, Becca, Elizabeth and Jacob; about teaching and marriage advice. His Rule #1 - "Learn how to say 'Yes, dear', and you'll live to learn everything else you need to know."
4-13-14, Samantha as the Commanding Officer in "Powers": "...Next, you'll remember the Bible-smuggling turkey. Er, the Bible-smuggling incident in Turkey..."
Monday, April 14, 2014
Monday
I hope tomorrow goes a little easier than today.
It's frustrating to have to say "No, I can't help you, I'm sorry" three times in one day when people need help with projects. (AND I just realized I still have type up today's Latin notes...) But really, I couldn't help them. Had to be at speech today because it was a presentation day, and couldn't help with either the SWAT one-shot skit or the music at the BCM because of having to attend a school board meeting for an MMP assignment.
I see now why everyone detests school-board meetings. They're pointless. The main topic was evaluating sales pitches from different architectural firms looking to design the new cafeteria for Cherokee Elementary. (Grandpa said they need one, so that's real, at least.) Left after two hours because they'd only gotten halfway through the speakers and I was very bored. And hungry. And frustrated.
The speakers waxed eloquently about design features or previous projects they'd worked on, one kept praising his wife's work and constantly referring to her. When asked questions about costs or fees, the architects were evasive; which makes sense on one level because costs are kind of hard to exactly pin down on construction projects. But when dealing with questions from one guy on energy efficiency and utility bills on the most recent project, they danced around the question politician-style and somehow insinuated that it was the school's fault, when it was probably their mistake by building high ceilings and a glass wall. And then trying to justify those elements with "it makes the students proud of their school and enjoy learning there"....HA. It was pathetic.
The last of the SWAT shows was last night, it didn't go as well as hoped, due to a massive storm that attacked the town and then kept us from heading home for a good while. And mostly-wooden sanctuaries, while pretty, carry sounds pretty well. And that includes RAIN and HAIL....so we were kind of drowned out most of the way though, despite the best projection efforts.
I think I'm coming down with something; don't feel quite right and have a headache, even factoring in the temperature whiplash inside and outside the last couple days. I took a nap immediately after speech, waking up three hours later when my phone signaled a new text. THREE HOURS' SLEEP in the MIDDLE OF THE DAY?! So I didn't have time to eat dinner before heading to that meeting, munched on a protein bar once I got back. But even more than that, that was three hours of productivity wasted, with quite a bit to do and no energy or motivation to work on it already. And now my sleep pattern will be thrown even farther off-course than it is now.
Trying to preach to myself, remind myself to get my thinking back on track, but it's just sort of been one of those days when that's a little difficult. Secret Church is supposed to deal in part this year with the sanctifying role of sleep, maybe I should try that.
I already need to spend more time with Rags and the kittens, and I only left yesterday afternoon...
It's frustrating to have to say "No, I can't help you, I'm sorry" three times in one day when people need help with projects. (AND I just realized I still have type up today's Latin notes...) But really, I couldn't help them. Had to be at speech today because it was a presentation day, and couldn't help with either the SWAT one-shot skit or the music at the BCM because of having to attend a school board meeting for an MMP assignment.
I see now why everyone detests school-board meetings. They're pointless. The main topic was evaluating sales pitches from different architectural firms looking to design the new cafeteria for Cherokee Elementary. (Grandpa said they need one, so that's real, at least.) Left after two hours because they'd only gotten halfway through the speakers and I was very bored. And hungry. And frustrated.
The speakers waxed eloquently about design features or previous projects they'd worked on, one kept praising his wife's work and constantly referring to her. When asked questions about costs or fees, the architects were evasive; which makes sense on one level because costs are kind of hard to exactly pin down on construction projects. But when dealing with questions from one guy on energy efficiency and utility bills on the most recent project, they danced around the question politician-style and somehow insinuated that it was the school's fault, when it was probably their mistake by building high ceilings and a glass wall. And then trying to justify those elements with "it makes the students proud of their school and enjoy learning there"....HA. It was pathetic.
The last of the SWAT shows was last night, it didn't go as well as hoped, due to a massive storm that attacked the town and then kept us from heading home for a good while. And mostly-wooden sanctuaries, while pretty, carry sounds pretty well. And that includes RAIN and HAIL....so we were kind of drowned out most of the way though, despite the best projection efforts.
I think I'm coming down with something; don't feel quite right and have a headache, even factoring in the temperature whiplash inside and outside the last couple days. I took a nap immediately after speech, waking up three hours later when my phone signaled a new text. THREE HOURS' SLEEP in the MIDDLE OF THE DAY?! So I didn't have time to eat dinner before heading to that meeting, munched on a protein bar once I got back. But even more than that, that was three hours of productivity wasted, with quite a bit to do and no energy or motivation to work on it already. And now my sleep pattern will be thrown even farther off-course than it is now.
Trying to preach to myself, remind myself to get my thinking back on track, but it's just sort of been one of those days when that's a little difficult. Secret Church is supposed to deal in part this year with the sanctifying role of sleep, maybe I should try that.
I already need to spend more time with Rags and the kittens, and I only left yesterday afternoon...
Sunday, April 13, 2014
"The Voice of the Prairie"
This post is hyper-local and will age easily, but there were too many great quotes I got that I couldn't use for the video. So....well, I did what I usually do: Write.
The NSU Theater Company will be taking us back in time this week for their upcoming production, "The Voice of the Prairie", to be held Wednesday through Saturday at 7:30 p.m. at the NSU Playhouse.
The time is the early 1900's; there will be a war in Europe within twenty years, some boys from Ohio recently built a flying machine out on a North Carolina beach, and Henry Ford is jumping into the foolhardy venture of making horseless carriages. There also is a newfangled contraption called the "radio", invented by some Italian fella. Leon Schwab is a New York City DJ/radio salesman trying to drum up business in his Midwest region area. He finds a farmer in Nebraska named David Quinn with a gift for storytelling, and Schwab sets Quinn up on the airwaves as "The Voice of the Prairie", telling tales of his childhood.
A frequent character of these tales is a girl named Frankie, who is played by Susan Fenrich. "Even if I wasn't playing Frankie, I think she'd still be my favorite character. She's really feisty - and blind, too, that's an interesting thing about her - but she's a really strong character and really fun to play. No matter what goes on in her life she still has a really positive attitude, and that's what I thinking the most interesting thing about the play was."
Practices were begun in early March, and while the play typically uses only three actors, this production will have a larger cast of around or eight, and all props will be imaginary, according to Knickel Sloan, who plays Schwab.
A play would be impossible to put on without a crew to run lighting, build the set, and numerous other behind-the-scenes details the audience takes for granted. Drew Latta serves as stage manager, which he describes as basically "a glorified secretary". Some of his tasks include running rehearsals, overseeing sets onstage and props, keeping track of the cast and coordinating all the stagehands and technical crews.
One of those tech-crew members would be sound operator TJ Jorgensen, who is in charge of the special effects. As a theater major, she enjoys seeing life in the theater from all sides, both in the footlights or behind them. "I find knowing both the roles[cast and crew] helps me to better understand the full concept of being in theater."
Another aspect of the experience is sitting in the audience, which will require a bit more effort while watching this show than it might otherwise, as the set-pieces used will be very minimal, in addition to those invisible props. "It's a rather small set, we have different pieces just as natural transitions to signify that you're in a different place," said Latta. "It's very convenient, and it adds to the creativity, and it adds to the fun of it - you get to create your own set in your mind."
Jorgensen added that you have to really listen to understand, because as Latta said, it's more like reading a book than watching a movie.
As readers know, part of the draw of a really good story is that the characters seem like they would be interesting to hang out with. This would be the draw that pulled Jorgensen toward her major. "My favorite part has to be the people. Because anywhere else, if you were to ask how theater kids act, they would say we're weird, we're out there, we're...a little annoying at times, and very loud. Because we're so used to being on stage and projecting, when we go back into the real world we're very loud and outspoken, we don't really hold anything back."
This feel carries over to the characters in the current show as well; Fenrich stated that she was instantly drawn to the role of Frankie the first time she read the script. "You find that you can connect with the characters; they feel approachable, as it you can just reach out and talk with them," said Latta.
Fenrich agrees: "Honestly, I just really hope that the audience falls in love with the characters like we did, because in a way this play is just a simple little love story."
Tickets for this romantic comedy-drama will be $5 and doors will open at 7 p.m.
Tickets for this romantic comedy-drama will be $5 and doors will open at 7 p.m.
Friday, April 11, 2014
Results and Roses
It's time for another Edgar Guest poem. This one I found late last night/early this morning on page 389 of The Book of Virtues, in the chapter on Work.
"The man who wants a garden fair,
Or small or very big,
With flowers growing here and there,
Must bend his back and dig.
"The things are mighty few on earth
That wishes can attain,
Whate'er we want of any worth
We've got to work to gain.
"It matters not what goal you seek
Its secret here reposes:
You've got to dig from week to week
To get Results or Roses."
"The man who wants a garden fair,
Or small or very big,
With flowers growing here and there,
Must bend his back and dig.
"The things are mighty few on earth
That wishes can attain,
Whate'er we want of any worth
We've got to work to gain.
"It matters not what goal you seek
Its secret here reposes:
You've got to dig from week to week
To get Results or Roses."
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
Pressing On
"Keep one foot in front of the other..." This tune could work well for this time of semester.
"Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..." - Dory, Finding Nemo.
And Keep a-Goin', like the poem says.
It's that time of the semester when there is quite a bit to do and not much energy to complete it. So you just do what you can, complain more often than normal, and snap sarcastic replies to anyone willing to engage you in conversation. On the other hand, it's that time of semester for everyone else, too, so that's something.
"Do not worry about anything, but in everything, with prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which is beyond all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:6-7)
That verse was part of the message from Monday night's meeting, I know I needed to hear it. I worry a lot, and stress is as natural to my life as caffeine.
A giant leak developed in the roof of the BCM's living room during the big storm on Thursday night, that was a little intense, trying to contain the newfound faucet. Once that was taken care of, Bob and Deb led a lesson on marriage that was the first of a two-part series. The power also went out completely in Ross on Thursday.
Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.... it's driving me UP THE WALL, but I'm loving it. Although it probably wasn't the best idea to watch the new episode several hours after watching Jurassic Park. There's only so much intensity and surprises that can be handled in one day. (And now part of the reason I'm writing this post is cause I'm a little afraid to go to sleep. Remind me NEVER TO WATCH THAT MOVIE EVER AGAIN.)
Sunday was busy, as the SWAT crew first went down to the Cookson area for a rare morning show, then that night we headed into Muskogee to a rather creepy church older than the state. (Seriously, it began in 1904.) We were missing about a third of our team, so there was a lot of filling in different roles than usual. (I need to get to work on editing those videos....)
The Cookson people seemed to really enjoy our being there, it was probably my second-favorite church to visit that we went to this year. (First would be Park Hill.)
After the Muskogee one, the friendly elderly preacher was giving unasked-for marriage advice to Becca, Elizabeth, Jacob, Justin and me. It was really cool, though slightly awkward, felt like I was in a Brad Paisley song(sort of like this one). His Rule #1 - "Learn to say, 'Yes, dear', and you'll live to learn everything else you'll need to know."
Dylan and the Coxes are in Louisville for the Together for the Gospel conference, wish I was able to be there, too. But there's Secret Church next Friday, maybe I can get to that.
Went for a coffee run with Drew, Elizabeth and Susan to McDonald's last night, which was a good trip. Lots of talk about books, cats and puns. (Example: "I'm like, two pages away from finishing the introduction right now(of The Princess Bride). You were right, it is kinda long and hard to get through, but it adds so much to the authenticity! I haven't even started the real book yet and I'm loving it." "Knew you would. But get this; even that prologue is fictionalized. Is that genius or what?!" "Susan's eyes pop out of her head in astonishment") And from there it was on to comparing "Have you read...?" and making book-swapping lists and planning movies that need to be seen.
There's tons of homework to do and that still needs to be completed....and I'm out of toothpaste.
Enjoyed getting to catch up with Ash on Saturday.
Pandora has been playing GREAT songs all the last week on most of my channels, that's always helpful. (At the moment, Sonicflood's "In The Secret")
There's a Latin test in the morning, and I need to finish enrolling for fall classes because of a system glitch that needs to be ironed out. So I should probably try to get to sleep.
Keep Calm and Carry On, right?
"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 3:12-14)
"Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..." - Dory, Finding Nemo.
And Keep a-Goin', like the poem says.
It's that time of the semester when there is quite a bit to do and not much energy to complete it. So you just do what you can, complain more often than normal, and snap sarcastic replies to anyone willing to engage you in conversation. On the other hand, it's that time of semester for everyone else, too, so that's something.
"Do not worry about anything, but in everything, with prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which is beyond all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:6-7)
That verse was part of the message from Monday night's meeting, I know I needed to hear it. I worry a lot, and stress is as natural to my life as caffeine.
A giant leak developed in the roof of the BCM's living room during the big storm on Thursday night, that was a little intense, trying to contain the newfound faucet. Once that was taken care of, Bob and Deb led a lesson on marriage that was the first of a two-part series. The power also went out completely in Ross on Thursday.
Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.... it's driving me UP THE WALL, but I'm loving it. Although it probably wasn't the best idea to watch the new episode several hours after watching Jurassic Park. There's only so much intensity and surprises that can be handled in one day. (And now part of the reason I'm writing this post is cause I'm a little afraid to go to sleep. Remind me NEVER TO WATCH THAT MOVIE EVER AGAIN.)
Sunday was busy, as the SWAT crew first went down to the Cookson area for a rare morning show, then that night we headed into Muskogee to a rather creepy church older than the state. (Seriously, it began in 1904.) We were missing about a third of our team, so there was a lot of filling in different roles than usual. (I need to get to work on editing those videos....)
The Cookson people seemed to really enjoy our being there, it was probably my second-favorite church to visit that we went to this year. (First would be Park Hill.)
After the Muskogee one, the friendly elderly preacher was giving unasked-for marriage advice to Becca, Elizabeth, Jacob, Justin and me. It was really cool, though slightly awkward, felt like I was in a Brad Paisley song(sort of like this one). His Rule #1 - "Learn to say, 'Yes, dear', and you'll live to learn everything else you'll need to know."
Dylan and the Coxes are in Louisville for the Together for the Gospel conference, wish I was able to be there, too. But there's Secret Church next Friday, maybe I can get to that.
Went for a coffee run with Drew, Elizabeth and Susan to McDonald's last night, which was a good trip. Lots of talk about books, cats and puns. (Example: "I'm like, two pages away from finishing the introduction right now(of The Princess Bride). You were right, it is kinda long and hard to get through, but it adds so much to the authenticity! I haven't even started the real book yet and I'm loving it." "Knew you would. But get this; even that prologue is fictionalized. Is that genius or what?!" "Susan's eyes pop out of her head in astonishment") And from there it was on to comparing "Have you read...?" and making book-swapping lists and planning movies that need to be seen.
There's tons of homework to do and that still needs to be completed....and I'm out of toothpaste.
Enjoyed getting to catch up with Ash on Saturday.
Pandora has been playing GREAT songs all the last week on most of my channels, that's always helpful. (At the moment, Sonicflood's "In The Secret")
There's a Latin test in the morning, and I need to finish enrolling for fall classes because of a system glitch that needs to be ironed out. So I should probably try to get to sleep.
Keep Calm and Carry On, right?
"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 3:12-14)
SWAT-2
So I wrote up a post last fall about Students With a Testimony, (SWAT), a drama ministry that I've been able to get involved with this year. It was started in fall 2012 as an outreach of the Baptist Collegiate Ministries on-campus, and the group was almost completely rebooted membership-wise in fall 2013 due to graduations and stuff.
In fall, we were mostly trying to get the program down and learn to work together. This semester, we've been able to strengthen connections within the BCM's structure and other ministries, and connect more with the churches we've visited. That's been one of the big differences spring vs. fall.
Spring is a busy time; with a weird course schedule. There's only really one stoplight the whole semester, and it's usually yellow while on spring break due to the amount of homework and projects to be done when we get back. And there's work schedules to plan and major commitments and other stuff going on, so it can get a little crazy. That's not even counting the weather, which in this case featured lots of ice storms and blizzards. There haven't been as many performances because of all those factors as would be ideal, but you do what you can, right?
What shows we have done, though, the execution has improved greatly, due to some shuffling of roles after people dropped and in large part to the additions of Drew and Ashleigh as tech crew; handling sound effects, mike levels and shooting video.
Most of the time we've been somewhat shorthanded, learning to cover for others when necessary, what parts can be skipped if they have to be. Once we were missing a third of our people and it still turned out pretty well.
We've been able to spread out from Cherokee County to the surrounding areas somewhat; that was something several of us were praying about over the break. And hopefully the audiences have been encouraged by what we've done, seeking to glorify God above everything else, trying to encourage other believers.
There's been game nights with INTENSELY COMPETITIVE games of Catchphrase and Apples To Apples. There's been much-needed and encouraging coffee runs often at McDonald's late at night to ease stress and chill out. Some examples of branching out with other projects includes more crossovers as members of both SWAT and the worship team; same deal with the tech team; disaster-relief groups are being trained and a Greek-focused deal was started, as well as a women's ministry. The Thursday night meetings have been important, as have the newly-popularized Lunch Bunch meetings on Fridays.
Stress and anxiety have been huge issues throughout the group this whole semester, and that's been something to pray with and for each other about. And it's been neat to work more closely with Bob and Deb as the SWAT-related or individual projects intertwine into the larger fabric of BCM activities.
We're still kind of figuring out exactly what it will look like next semester/year, who will step up to the plate and take over leadership duties from Samantha, what the program will look like, who will be back and involved, and other potential opportunities of ways to serve. But it's really been great to be a part of, and I'm thankful for that.
In fall, we were mostly trying to get the program down and learn to work together. This semester, we've been able to strengthen connections within the BCM's structure and other ministries, and connect more with the churches we've visited. That's been one of the big differences spring vs. fall.
Spring is a busy time; with a weird course schedule. There's only really one stoplight the whole semester, and it's usually yellow while on spring break due to the amount of homework and projects to be done when we get back. And there's work schedules to plan and major commitments and other stuff going on, so it can get a little crazy. That's not even counting the weather, which in this case featured lots of ice storms and blizzards. There haven't been as many performances because of all those factors as would be ideal, but you do what you can, right?
What shows we have done, though, the execution has improved greatly, due to some shuffling of roles after people dropped and in large part to the additions of Drew and Ashleigh as tech crew; handling sound effects, mike levels and shooting video.
Most of the time we've been somewhat shorthanded, learning to cover for others when necessary, what parts can be skipped if they have to be. Once we were missing a third of our people and it still turned out pretty well.
We've been able to spread out from Cherokee County to the surrounding areas somewhat; that was something several of us were praying about over the break. And hopefully the audiences have been encouraged by what we've done, seeking to glorify God above everything else, trying to encourage other believers.
There's been game nights with INTENSELY COMPETITIVE games of Catchphrase and Apples To Apples. There's been much-needed and encouraging coffee runs often at McDonald's late at night to ease stress and chill out. Some examples of branching out with other projects includes more crossovers as members of both SWAT and the worship team; same deal with the tech team; disaster-relief groups are being trained and a Greek-focused deal was started, as well as a women's ministry. The Thursday night meetings have been important, as have the newly-popularized Lunch Bunch meetings on Fridays.
Stress and anxiety have been huge issues throughout the group this whole semester, and that's been something to pray with and for each other about. And it's been neat to work more closely with Bob and Deb as the SWAT-related or individual projects intertwine into the larger fabric of BCM activities.
We're still kind of figuring out exactly what it will look like next semester/year, who will step up to the plate and take over leadership duties from Samantha, what the program will look like, who will be back and involved, and other potential opportunities of ways to serve. But it's really been great to be a part of, and I'm thankful for that.
Thursday, April 3, 2014
Hello April
It's another verse of the same familiar story: I can't sleep, the temperature is off-target and my mind won't shut up. So naturally I start typing out a new blog post.
Went home for a visit last weekend, which was very good. Saw a musical of "Fiddler on the Roof" that Courtney's old drama group put on; it was really, really good. Her friend Callie was in it, and a bunch of Fergusons. It was very well-done(but now I really need to see the movie.) Not knowing anything about the storyline kinda took away from some of the enjoyment factor. There were probably over thirty people from GBC in the audience; almost the entire Ferguson clan, most of the Steeleys, the Muellers, the Wilsons, the Mixes, most of the McNeils, us, and Bennett.
Rags HAD KITTENS Tuesday night! (Can't wait to meet them.) That's a happy thing.
Spent some time after classes were over tonight watching Full House, which was enjoyable. The video production courses are going a little better than I expected, started filming one of the two pilot news programs in Advanced tonight. That was a really cool experience; seeing the beginnings of what it will look like, knowing how thrown-together and low-budget it is. (We're mostly using personal equipment, as there isn't very much school equipment.) And most of the shows will be edited together in post-production, much like a movie's individual scenes are spliced together into one larger story after the shooting is done.
Not used to writing in broadcast style yet, it's a little challenging. And so is stitching together video and audio and illustrational B-roll footage with the editing software of Final Cut Pro X(which is Apple, which I'm not generally familiar with). But hopefully by the end of this semester I'll have at least a working knowledge of how it works.
Only a little over a month left to this semester - and so much to get done. Mostly for Media Management and Planning, but also Oral Communication. And Basic and Advanced Video as well. Okay, I guess I just have a lot of difficult courses this semester. (Guess that''s what happens when you take three high-level major courses as a sophomore? Could be worse, though; I could be trying to get a Bachelor's in science or business or accounting, or a Master's of any type.)
Thinking I'll finally take Government in fall, and maybe Physical Science too, not sure what else to schedule.
In a couple hours this year's Media Day will be held, it was two years ago that I first heard about it. (See this post.) That seems like a long time ago. Another T4G conference is either happening now or next week. I found this post I wrote about twelve months ago; most of it is still pretty applicable.
Stupid Profile Picture Week is in full swing, and the special "Campfire" themed all-music Monday night meeting at the BCM went pretty well. Among the sixteen people on the worship team, there were eight guitars, two basses and two drum sets, with a keyboard, mandolin and tambourine as well. Oh, and about three videocameras the tech team was using to film a recap of the event. I mostly played mandolin, with a bit of guitar and singing.
With the semester winding down, we only have four SWAT shows left, two of which are this coming Sunday. Over Christmas break I(and others) was praying that we would be able to expand the range of area covered outside of Cherokee County, and also that we would be bold in sharing the Gospel and encouraging people, etc. And so where are we going Sunday night? Muskogee... Hmm. (We were supposed to go there in late February or early March, but then one of the blizzards hit.)
Amanda got engaged last week, I've lost count of how many people I know around my age (whether from the homeschool group, camp, YT or college) who've gotten engaged or married now. And I just realized that the counselors my first year at SGYC were probably about the age then that I am now. Anyway, found that out Monday morning while chatting before classes, I'm glad for her.
Jon's moved to Maryland to seriously pursue a career in music, here's a link to his official YouTube and Facebook pages. (Check 'em out!)
Anyway, talking about this upcoming time of camp, Courtney is going crazy counting down the days. Well, most of the youth group is, actually. And Caleb is eagerly awaiting his first camp experience. If counselors are needed I'd be happy to help, but I think they'll probably have more than enough volunteers.
For the THIRD YEAR IN A ROW I failed to play any pranks on anybody on April Fool's Day...sigh. Just couldn't come up with anything plausible that was realistic I guess there's always next year, though, right?
It's been extremely hot and HUMID the past couple days, and the heater's still on inside the buildings....cue lots of general complaints about weather conditions taking up a measurable portion of class times. (It's actually been a touch cooler inside than out, I think.) But there haven't been very many bug-infestations recently, so that's a plus.
Really hoping to find some folks nearby to go see Captain America: The Winter Soldier with this weekend.
Went home for a visit last weekend, which was very good. Saw a musical of "Fiddler on the Roof" that Courtney's old drama group put on; it was really, really good. Her friend Callie was in it, and a bunch of Fergusons. It was very well-done(but now I really need to see the movie.) Not knowing anything about the storyline kinda took away from some of the enjoyment factor. There were probably over thirty people from GBC in the audience; almost the entire Ferguson clan, most of the Steeleys, the Muellers, the Wilsons, the Mixes, most of the McNeils, us, and Bennett.
Rags HAD KITTENS Tuesday night! (Can't wait to meet them.) That's a happy thing.
Spent some time after classes were over tonight watching Full House, which was enjoyable. The video production courses are going a little better than I expected, started filming one of the two pilot news programs in Advanced tonight. That was a really cool experience; seeing the beginnings of what it will look like, knowing how thrown-together and low-budget it is. (We're mostly using personal equipment, as there isn't very much school equipment.) And most of the shows will be edited together in post-production, much like a movie's individual scenes are spliced together into one larger story after the shooting is done.
Not used to writing in broadcast style yet, it's a little challenging. And so is stitching together video and audio and illustrational B-roll footage with the editing software of Final Cut Pro X(which is Apple, which I'm not generally familiar with). But hopefully by the end of this semester I'll have at least a working knowledge of how it works.
Only a little over a month left to this semester - and so much to get done. Mostly for Media Management and Planning, but also Oral Communication. And Basic and Advanced Video as well. Okay, I guess I just have a lot of difficult courses this semester. (Guess that''s what happens when you take three high-level major courses as a sophomore? Could be worse, though; I could be trying to get a Bachelor's in science or business or accounting, or a Master's of any type.)
Thinking I'll finally take Government in fall, and maybe Physical Science too, not sure what else to schedule.
In a couple hours this year's Media Day will be held, it was two years ago that I first heard about it. (See this post.) That seems like a long time ago. Another T4G conference is either happening now or next week. I found this post I wrote about twelve months ago; most of it is still pretty applicable.
Stupid Profile Picture Week is in full swing, and the special "Campfire" themed all-music Monday night meeting at the BCM went pretty well. Among the sixteen people on the worship team, there were eight guitars, two basses and two drum sets, with a keyboard, mandolin and tambourine as well. Oh, and about three videocameras the tech team was using to film a recap of the event. I mostly played mandolin, with a bit of guitar and singing.
With the semester winding down, we only have four SWAT shows left, two of which are this coming Sunday. Over Christmas break I(and others) was praying that we would be able to expand the range of area covered outside of Cherokee County, and also that we would be bold in sharing the Gospel and encouraging people, etc. And so where are we going Sunday night? Muskogee... Hmm. (We were supposed to go there in late February or early March, but then one of the blizzards hit.)
Amanda got engaged last week, I've lost count of how many people I know around my age (whether from the homeschool group, camp, YT or college) who've gotten engaged or married now. And I just realized that the counselors my first year at SGYC were probably about the age then that I am now. Anyway, found that out Monday morning while chatting before classes, I'm glad for her.
Jon's moved to Maryland to seriously pursue a career in music, here's a link to his official YouTube and Facebook pages. (Check 'em out!)
Anyway, talking about this upcoming time of camp, Courtney is going crazy counting down the days. Well, most of the youth group is, actually. And Caleb is eagerly awaiting his first camp experience. If counselors are needed I'd be happy to help, but I think they'll probably have more than enough volunteers.
For the THIRD YEAR IN A ROW I failed to play any pranks on anybody on April Fool's Day...sigh. Just couldn't come up with anything plausible that was realistic I guess there's always next year, though, right?
It's been extremely hot and HUMID the past couple days, and the heater's still on inside the buildings....cue lots of general complaints about weather conditions taking up a measurable portion of class times. (It's actually been a touch cooler inside than out, I think.) But there haven't been very many bug-infestations recently, so that's a plus.
Really hoping to find some folks nearby to go see Captain America: The Winter Soldier with this weekend.
Monday, March 31, 2014
Stupid Profile Picture Week
Stupid Profile Picture Week is an elaborate, yet low-key, satirization of duck faces, bathroom-mirror selfies, and other irritating and over-used profile picture types.
The rules are simple: For the first week in April, you find a really bad photo of yourself(for example, making a stupid face or wearing a ridiculous outfit) and use that as your Facebook/Twitter/whatever profile picture. And you leave it there for a week. (Though, technically, you could use multiple pictures, as long as the total combined time was seven full days.)
The rules are simple: For the first week in April, you find a really bad photo of yourself(for example, making a stupid face or wearing a ridiculous outfit) and use that as your Facebook/Twitter/whatever profile picture. And you leave it there for a week. (Though, technically, you could use multiple pictures, as long as the total combined time was seven full days.)
 |
| This is an example from the first Stupid Profile Picture Week. |
It began, as far as I can remember, about five years ago with a terrible photo of Amanda that somebody tagged her in. Like, so awful that it was hilariously good. And so we were talking about it, and it was decided that it was so awful it needed to be her profile pic for a bit, so people would be freaked out and get a laugh. And from there it was kept alive year-by-year, gradually gaining new participants, including Ash, Courtney and Jessica.
It's just kind of a lighthearted way to get started on a new month.
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Tiredness
I'm cold, but that's nothing new.
I'm frustrated with school.
I'm worried.
I'm tired.
It's good to know there's plenty of groceries in various drawers, though. And it was nice to spend time with family over spring break. Read through three Agatha Christies, the latest Flavia de Luce mystery, Stuart Little, a book on adoption called The Family Nobody Wanted, and another book that I'd meant to read at some point. And talked about Seabiscuit, Unbroken, and a lot of other books. Found an awesome little bookstore in Sand Springs, and played a good amount of ping pong. Spent time with Rags and Banjo, and got to go to church two weeks straight, which was really great.
Getting the flu really threw things off-kilter this spring; still haven't quite gotten settled back yet. I've got a Latin test tomorrow, which I still need to study for. Lot of homework in speech, advertising, and basic and advanced video production.
Need to think of a really good April Fool's prank...
Missing Sunny and Copper a lot. And Mimi, too.
Tired of having no idea what's expected in most of my classes(and nobody else really does, either). And only myself to compete against when I do know what to do. And tired of aimlessly walking around for lack of anything else interesting to do. Tired of spending time staring at the walls. Most of all, tired of this repeat of fall freshman year.
Have to figure out what classes to take in fall, whether to take a summer class, where to live next year and what to do over the summer.
SWAT practice went well last night, we have about three more shows left, and then one or two extra things that might come up.
I'm frustrated with school.
I'm worried.
I'm tired.
It's good to know there's plenty of groceries in various drawers, though. And it was nice to spend time with family over spring break. Read through three Agatha Christies, the latest Flavia de Luce mystery, Stuart Little, a book on adoption called The Family Nobody Wanted, and another book that I'd meant to read at some point. And talked about Seabiscuit, Unbroken, and a lot of other books. Found an awesome little bookstore in Sand Springs, and played a good amount of ping pong. Spent time with Rags and Banjo, and got to go to church two weeks straight, which was really great.
Getting the flu really threw things off-kilter this spring; still haven't quite gotten settled back yet. I've got a Latin test tomorrow, which I still need to study for. Lot of homework in speech, advertising, and basic and advanced video production.
Need to think of a really good April Fool's prank...
Missing Sunny and Copper a lot. And Mimi, too.
Tired of having no idea what's expected in most of my classes(and nobody else really does, either). And only myself to compete against when I do know what to do. And tired of aimlessly walking around for lack of anything else interesting to do. Tired of spending time staring at the walls. Most of all, tired of this repeat of fall freshman year.
Have to figure out what classes to take in fall, whether to take a summer class, where to live next year and what to do over the summer.
SWAT practice went well last night, we have about three more shows left, and then one or two extra things that might come up.
Sunday, March 9, 2014
BCM State Basketball Tournament
I really should probably take a nap instead of writing this post. And I need to do homework. But the reason I can't take a nap is cause that would mess up my sleeping even worse than it already has been the last couple weeks. (Not very restful, stressful mundane dreams, weird hours and flipping around more than usual.)
Anyway, the BCM basketball state tournament was held this weekend in Shawnee at OBU, and it went better than expected for both of our teams, though not quite the results that were hoped for. One of the guys that was supposed to play for us broke his finger, and another had to attend a funeral, so there were six players: James, Mark, Sean, Tyler, Wes and Zach. The girls had nine on their squad: Carra, Caitlyn, Ja Li Si, Jayne, Jocelyn, Jordan, Mallory, Mariah and Tarah.
We left from the BCM about 4:30 Friday afternoon, getting to Shawnee about 6:30, dropping our stuff off at the church we were spending the night at and then to OBU's gym(Not the "real" gym, but the everyday one) at 7...where there were two hours to kill before the girls' first game. And four hours to go before our first game.
So I spent the time figuring out how the brackets worked out, watching three games at one time and admiring the beautiful interior of the building of the Raley Wellness Center. There were three basketball/volleyball courts set up, complete with glass backboards and working scoreboards. A rock-climbing area built along one wall, walking-track set up along a wraparound balcony, many workout machines and a lobby so nice it looked to be swiped from a hotel. (But then, it IS OBU, so that explains it...) Anyway, it was very nice. One quirk that was unusual: There were these massive floor-to-ceiling windows just behind the baskets on one end, and they were installed on the side of the balcony. So with nothing but sky below and people running/walking by above, the goals themselves looked like they were hanging in mid-air with no definite place in space. Strange optical effect that made shooting a bit difficult.
Anyway, Mallory had asked me to keep stats for the their games, so I flipped completely into sportswriter mode at 9 p.m. while watching the NSU-Cameron game. There was a minor scare before the game started that had a bunch of folks slightly worried, as one of Ja Li Si's earrings wouldn't come out. Finally, James' fiancee Chelsea was able to unstick the earring, allowing her to play. ("No jewelry of any type allowed", is what the rules said, why this was important.)
Turnovers plagued NSU's first half, trying to do too much led to Cameron holding a 17-8 lead after the first fifteen minutes. Things started clicking in the second half for NSU, as the Cameron lead was trimmed down to 24-12 with 11:33 left and then 27-21 at the 7:09 mark. Rebounds were coming, ball-swiping was practiced often, and the assist-count began to rise. Unfortunately, so did the fouls. Even more unfortunately, Cameron made three of four free throws, which proved to be the difference as the NSU girls lost by a 30-27 final score. Carra led the scoring column with 10 points, Jocelyn had team-high 5 rebounds and 4 steals, and Mariah had 4 assists.
We played Redlands Community College in our game(tipoff was near 11 p.m., it was weird scheduling and an even stranger bracket setup), they'd already beaten OSU-OKC and ECU. The opening seven minutes were much the same as the girls' first half, but then Sean and James both started hitting on 3-pointers, and the 2-3 zone defense began to frustrate Redlands' two best shooters. Second-chance points and hustle led to a 19-all tie at halftime, thanks to Zach's last-second basket. In the second half NSU took a decent-sized lead, much to spectator amazement, as Redlands was about ten players deep of mostly tall black guys, but time ticked away with the running clock being used, and NSU advanced to the second round with the 51-43 win. (I really should have kept stats for us, too; but forgot about it.)
We spent the night at a church near the OBU campus, sleeping on the floor and rows of chairs. A bunch of guys from NEO kept talking. And Talking. And TALKING. to each other, couldn't fall asleep until about three, then woke up somewhere in at seven because of the chilly temperature, and then everybody fell back asleep only to get woken up by one of the girls poking her head in the doorway and saying loudly, "Aren't you guys ready?! It's 8:20, Bob's gonna pick us up in like, five minutes!" We were packed and ready in five minutes, but it took fifteen to rearrange the chairs into the proper order(the NEO guys had moved everything all around). We ate breakfast at IHOP, which I found wasn't really my thing.
We had Southeastern at 11 a.m. in the second round, and if we lost, we were done. They were the favorites coming into the tournament, lots of tall, strong athletic black guys. The NEO guys, who were destroyed by Southeastern in the first round, and some guys from Murray State College in Tishomingo, were jumping on the NSU bandwagon and cheering for us along with the girls team and several relatives of various people. It was a back-and-forth affair the entire game, we led at halftime 22-18, but they came back in the second half despite strong defensive play, and in the end it came down to free throws, NSU with the upset 37-30.
The girls' game was at 1 p.m. against USAO, halfway through the first half NSU led 7-2. Baskets, rebounds and steals were all distributed pretty evenly, and at halftime the scoreboard read 12-6, NSU. USAO had trouble finding the basket the entire game, it made for lots of rebound opportunities and fast-break scores. NSU won easily by a 26-14 final score. Carra led the scoring with 8 points, Mariah led the rebound and steals categories with 5 and 3, respectively. They each had 2 assists.
In the 2 .p.m. semifinal game, we were set to face OU. Turns out, they had three guys who were the state's top 3-point shooters in high school, and our guys were exhausted. The game itself was a set of sniper missions from behind the three-point line; we missed the target while their shots were accurate and basically we were run over by a herd of Triceratops. The final score was OU 59, NSU 39. It wasn't pretty.
But there was still the 3 p.m. girls' third-place game against UCO to watch before heading out. Both sides were evenly matched, scoring was slow most of the first half, as evidenced by a 4-4 tie with 6:33 until halftime. It picked up after that point, NSU led by five at the break, 16-11. That edge mushroomed to 25-13 with 10:23 to play, but fouls played a large role in UCO's rallying down to a tense 28-27 ballgame with two minutes to play. It came down to the final play...and the buzzer sounded just before Mariah's shot left her hands. We were going to an extra 120 seconds of overtime, with the score tied at 29-all. The momentum UCO built up late in the second half carried over, and they took third place with the 34-29 OT victory. Jocelyn had 13 points and pulled down 9 rebounds, Tarah had 6 rebounds, Mariah four assists and four players had steals.
So the guys made it to the semifinals in a 21-team field, and the girls were fourth out of nine teams. We got back to Tahlequah just before 8 p.m., only to lose another hour of would-be sleep-time by the time change. Probably everyone immediately collapsed as soon as they could, Jayne said she was still sore. Elizabeth was wishing she could've came to watch, and planning a tour of all the things we should have seen. I was late to church this morning, but at least I got there. One week until spring break, my 8-week classes start Wednesday.
Anyway, the BCM basketball state tournament was held this weekend in Shawnee at OBU, and it went better than expected for both of our teams, though not quite the results that were hoped for. One of the guys that was supposed to play for us broke his finger, and another had to attend a funeral, so there were six players: James, Mark, Sean, Tyler, Wes and Zach. The girls had nine on their squad: Carra, Caitlyn, Ja Li Si, Jayne, Jocelyn, Jordan, Mallory, Mariah and Tarah.
We left from the BCM about 4:30 Friday afternoon, getting to Shawnee about 6:30, dropping our stuff off at the church we were spending the night at and then to OBU's gym(Not the "real" gym, but the everyday one) at 7...where there were two hours to kill before the girls' first game. And four hours to go before our first game.
So I spent the time figuring out how the brackets worked out, watching three games at one time and admiring the beautiful interior of the building of the Raley Wellness Center. There were three basketball/volleyball courts set up, complete with glass backboards and working scoreboards. A rock-climbing area built along one wall, walking-track set up along a wraparound balcony, many workout machines and a lobby so nice it looked to be swiped from a hotel. (But then, it IS OBU, so that explains it...) Anyway, it was very nice. One quirk that was unusual: There were these massive floor-to-ceiling windows just behind the baskets on one end, and they were installed on the side of the balcony. So with nothing but sky below and people running/walking by above, the goals themselves looked like they were hanging in mid-air with no definite place in space. Strange optical effect that made shooting a bit difficult.
Anyway, Mallory had asked me to keep stats for the their games, so I flipped completely into sportswriter mode at 9 p.m. while watching the NSU-Cameron game. There was a minor scare before the game started that had a bunch of folks slightly worried, as one of Ja Li Si's earrings wouldn't come out. Finally, James' fiancee Chelsea was able to unstick the earring, allowing her to play. ("No jewelry of any type allowed", is what the rules said, why this was important.)
Turnovers plagued NSU's first half, trying to do too much led to Cameron holding a 17-8 lead after the first fifteen minutes. Things started clicking in the second half for NSU, as the Cameron lead was trimmed down to 24-12 with 11:33 left and then 27-21 at the 7:09 mark. Rebounds were coming, ball-swiping was practiced often, and the assist-count began to rise. Unfortunately, so did the fouls. Even more unfortunately, Cameron made three of four free throws, which proved to be the difference as the NSU girls lost by a 30-27 final score. Carra led the scoring column with 10 points, Jocelyn had team-high 5 rebounds and 4 steals, and Mariah had 4 assists.
We played Redlands Community College in our game(tipoff was near 11 p.m., it was weird scheduling and an even stranger bracket setup), they'd already beaten OSU-OKC and ECU. The opening seven minutes were much the same as the girls' first half, but then Sean and James both started hitting on 3-pointers, and the 2-3 zone defense began to frustrate Redlands' two best shooters. Second-chance points and hustle led to a 19-all tie at halftime, thanks to Zach's last-second basket. In the second half NSU took a decent-sized lead, much to spectator amazement, as Redlands was about ten players deep of mostly tall black guys, but time ticked away with the running clock being used, and NSU advanced to the second round with the 51-43 win. (I really should have kept stats for us, too; but forgot about it.)
We spent the night at a church near the OBU campus, sleeping on the floor and rows of chairs. A bunch of guys from NEO kept talking. And Talking. And TALKING. to each other, couldn't fall asleep until about three, then woke up somewhere in at seven because of the chilly temperature, and then everybody fell back asleep only to get woken up by one of the girls poking her head in the doorway and saying loudly, "Aren't you guys ready?! It's 8:20, Bob's gonna pick us up in like, five minutes!" We were packed and ready in five minutes, but it took fifteen to rearrange the chairs into the proper order(the NEO guys had moved everything all around). We ate breakfast at IHOP, which I found wasn't really my thing.
We had Southeastern at 11 a.m. in the second round, and if we lost, we were done. They were the favorites coming into the tournament, lots of tall, strong athletic black guys. The NEO guys, who were destroyed by Southeastern in the first round, and some guys from Murray State College in Tishomingo, were jumping on the NSU bandwagon and cheering for us along with the girls team and several relatives of various people. It was a back-and-forth affair the entire game, we led at halftime 22-18, but they came back in the second half despite strong defensive play, and in the end it came down to free throws, NSU with the upset 37-30.
The girls' game was at 1 p.m. against USAO, halfway through the first half NSU led 7-2. Baskets, rebounds and steals were all distributed pretty evenly, and at halftime the scoreboard read 12-6, NSU. USAO had trouble finding the basket the entire game, it made for lots of rebound opportunities and fast-break scores. NSU won easily by a 26-14 final score. Carra led the scoring with 8 points, Mariah led the rebound and steals categories with 5 and 3, respectively. They each had 2 assists.
In the 2 .p.m. semifinal game, we were set to face OU. Turns out, they had three guys who were the state's top 3-point shooters in high school, and our guys were exhausted. The game itself was a set of sniper missions from behind the three-point line; we missed the target while their shots were accurate and basically we were run over by a herd of Triceratops. The final score was OU 59, NSU 39. It wasn't pretty.
But there was still the 3 p.m. girls' third-place game against UCO to watch before heading out. Both sides were evenly matched, scoring was slow most of the first half, as evidenced by a 4-4 tie with 6:33 until halftime. It picked up after that point, NSU led by five at the break, 16-11. That edge mushroomed to 25-13 with 10:23 to play, but fouls played a large role in UCO's rallying down to a tense 28-27 ballgame with two minutes to play. It came down to the final play...and the buzzer sounded just before Mariah's shot left her hands. We were going to an extra 120 seconds of overtime, with the score tied at 29-all. The momentum UCO built up late in the second half carried over, and they took third place with the 34-29 OT victory. Jocelyn had 13 points and pulled down 9 rebounds, Tarah had 6 rebounds, Mariah four assists and four players had steals.
So the guys made it to the semifinals in a 21-team field, and the girls were fourth out of nine teams. We got back to Tahlequah just before 8 p.m., only to lose another hour of would-be sleep-time by the time change. Probably everyone immediately collapsed as soon as they could, Jayne said she was still sore. Elizabeth was wishing she could've came to watch, and planning a tour of all the things we should have seen. I was late to church this morning, but at least I got there. One week until spring break, my 8-week classes start Wednesday.
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
Snowy Memories and Untold Stories
The snow is coating the ground softly, hard-packed so footprints won't spoil the beauty of it. I'm sitting here alone in my dorm in the fluorescent light above my desk typing this out, with the warm glow of my Christmas tree shining on the other side of the room. I'm completely out of groceries again, and I need to shave. I'm wearing the plaid pajama pants we got at Wal-Mart the day after the fire and the orange OSU hoodie I was wearing that day, now looking rather worn-out and ratty from long use. You can't do homework all that well at night, and there's only so much Netflixing possible over one weekend. And then when you're snowed in(for the most part) on top of all that and haven't really had much human interaction over the past couple days...there's just your thoughts to go chasing each other around and around through your head.
While I was taking a shower I just got to thinking about the past ten years or so, what all's happened; "Down By the Creek Bank", "The American Ideal" and all those other musicals and stuff with the Okmulgee homeschool group; playing two-touch football with little siblings or basketball games before drama each week. The archery shoots and field trips and birthday parties. Snide comments hissed to each other and improv comedy occurring completely naturally out of thin air. Kind of made me think of Trace Adkins' "You're Gonna Miss This" Not sure exactly why, but it did.
I managed to fit some of those lyrics into a article on the closing of the high school football stadium about five years ago, it was by far my favorite newspaper story I've written. Got to thinking of those times standing on the sidelines and sitting/standing in the bleachers and crammed into press boxes while covering games. And the sacrifices of time and gas Mom and Dad took to get me to and from those games. Really amazing when you stop and think about it.
Dealing with moving from Morris to Beggs, or Tahlequah back to Beggs, or when Meowie's first kittens were born, or Sunny's first puppies. The failed experiment of Dixie the horse. Jumping into the caprine world after getting Stormy at a garage sale. Taking care of Mimi as she got sicker, or Dado as he started to fade. Cleaning out the little house on the farm in Westville, taking care of Nano as best we can. Amy's birth; rebuilding after the fire. Remodeling the family room; destroying the bar, ripping up the awful striped carpet and the slow, methodical process of stripping the carpet-padding from the concrete.
A guy in my speech class just gave a presentation over the history of Sony's PlayStation, which made me think of all the hours racing the Soukups on various video games, or the horseshoe tournament we held at our house when their parents went on vacation, pickup baseball and Refrigerator Tag in their backyard, getting our feet taken out repeatedly by running dogs wanting to join in on the fun.
Holding church in first a warehouse and then a library while remodeling, two months after the church was finally ready again the house burned. In some ways still haven't gotten used to some things architecturally yet. Game nights with the youth group, movie-worldview-discussion sessions, skating trips. Sometimes really miss leading worship with Josh or Laura's piano-playing. Things like shopping trips with Sam and Dylan, getting lost that first time at camp with Josh, or when we got lost again in Louisville during T4G. The wild Facecbook-based hijinks through high school with Jon, Jed, Sam and Amanda, which led to parodies like this.
Giving my graduation speech with my tassel flopping constantly into my face, or going on Youth Tour.
The quotes that stick, for some unsure reason, in your mind and jump out at unexpected times, such as Grandma Joy's final words to me: "I'm very proud of you." Why does that mean so much, when I didn't even really know her that well?
Some of this is probably from watching two seasons' worth of The Wonder Years over the last three weeks, combined with re-reading The Princess Bride and thinking over The Big Green, Wishbone, Charlotte's Web and other tales, but it makes me wonder what exactly my letter to me would be like, and how exactly I'll tell these and other stories of my growing-up whenever my kids or nieces or nephews or whoever ask for trips down my highway of memories. (Next blog post project: story songs in general. When will I have time to wrestle that into something of the right shape, I have no idea.)
Sometimes I'm still kind of looking for what exactly my place in this world. is, anyway. College can kind of be a confusing time. You don't exactly belong firmly anywhere, kind of jumping on a trampoline and coming down occasionally in several target areas. College is our job, an insulated workplace/alien world/many other things. We adopt a local church close to campus, but it's not really the same. And we can't go back and visit our home church that often, and when we do, we don't exactly fit in as neatly as we once did. Home is good to stop in and visit when you can, good to check in with family and get caught up on the latest news. And there's some way we can be serving the Lord, surely; just....well, what is it?
this Steven Curtis Chapman song kind of fits my mood, I guess. And this one, too. And this one. (I've always really loved his "Declaration" CD, okay?) This, too... Sorry for all the song links, but sometimes it's easier to re-post what somebody else has written before you than try to think of a fresh angle to say exactly what you mean.
My advertising class in the morning was canceled because the instructor is sick, so Tuesday will probably be much like Monday, and Sunday, and Saturday have been. Except with a lot of homework to try to get done.
Sunday, March 2, 2014
Little-Noticed Details in "The Princess Bride"
Okay, quick question: What is one characteristic of a really gripping, extremely well-crafted story? Details. Would we believe that Star Wars took place in a galaxy far, far away if Tatooine didn't have two suns? Would we appreciate the tale of David and Goliath as much if we didn't know that David gathered five stones from the riverbed or tried to wear King Saul's hopelessly-too-large armor? We wouldn't understand Maycomb County as well without knowing the little things Scout Finch takes for granted. The Arables' kitchen smells of "coffee, bacon, damp plaster and wood smoke from the stove", providing us an idea of exactly what Fern's family's house is like. That we learn J.C. Hogan's wife left him in 1978, because it's referenced by him and Mule Skinner as "the year the Chicago Daily News went belly-up" and "the year the Cowboys beat the Broncos in the Super Bowl 27 to 10." (Further wonderful detail is that neither of these tidbits help Father Tim understand what year his friends are talking about in the least.)
Well, that's just barely scratching the surface of what I mean here, only covering George Lucas, the Bible, Harper Lee and Jan Karon. This post is concerned with the brilliant detailing of the satirical abridgment of S. Morgenstern's satirical history of the Florinese royalty known as The Princess Bride, written by William Goldman. First off, as the narrator highlights, the full title is The Princess Bride: S. Morgenstern's Classic Tale of True Love and High Adventure, he points out that you've got to love somebody who calls his own book a classic before it's been published or anybody else has had a chance to read it. And you do, just for the audacity of the deed. Furthermore, the extensive, extremely dry and entirely fictitious prologue explaining how the book came to be abridged is a masterstroke of Sicilian-level genius. Anyway, there's so many wonderful little details hidden all throughout the prologue and the book itself; creating an entirely plausible world that a lot of people would love to visit. I mean, the very first sentence has a hook that fuels a ferocious desire to find out what happens next: "This is my favorite book in all the world; though I have never read it." (Jaw drops in admiration for his writing skill. Isn't that just a wonderful beginning?) I named this blog after a passage from the sword-fight scene. So, much like the one about the little-noticed details of "The Big Green", this post takes a look at the terrific details from The Princess Bride(the book version.)
This sentence - the writer casting himself as the narrator describing his childhood - could have totally been written about my growing-up: "Basketball, baseball, marbles - I could never get enough. I wasn't even very good at them, but give me a football and an empty playground and I could invent last-second comebacks that would bring tears to your eyes." And he continues in the next paragraph with this: "I seemed busy, busy, busy, but I suppose, if pressed I would have admitted that, for all my frenzy, I was very much alone." And that's just on the first page!
That the narrator's radio is a Zenith; and it was a fall Friday in 1941 when he caught pneumonia, trying to catch the Northwestern-Notre Dame football game over the airwaves. And that his father was a Florinese immigrant whose English always stayed ridiculously immigranty; he worked all his life as the number-two-chair barber at the least popular barber shop in Highland Park, Illinois. His father died in that barber chair, and it took an hour for the number-one-chair barber to realize this because he thought the corpse was taking a nap.
S. Morgenstern had a head shaped like a giant balloon.
"Does it have any sports in it?" "Fencing. Fighting. Torture. Poison. True love. Hate. Revenge. Giants. Hunters. Bad men. Good men. Beautifulest ladies. Snakes. Spiders. Beasts of all natures and pain and descriptions. Pain. Death. Brave men. Coward men. Strongest men. Chases. Escapes. Lies. Truth. Passion. Miracles." "Sounds okay."
I've always read the prologue in the voice of The Wonder Years's narrator. Only recently I just realized that's probably because Fred Savage plays the Grandson in the movie.
THE BOOK -
All these side notes about who the most beautiful woman in the world was and why she yielded that position...the first sentence of the actual book begins: "The year Buttercup was born, the most beautiful woman in the world was a French scullery maid named Annette." Can you get a much more fairy-tale opening than that, not using the whole "Once upon a time..." cliche?
Anyway, Annette worked in Paris for the Duke and Duchess de Guiche, and it's not long before the Duke discovers that someone extraordinary is polishing the pewter. The Duchess notices this, and begins studying Annette for some flaw in her character(or appearance would be close enough). Annette's Achilles heel is chocolate, which the Duchess plants in strategic places all throughout the castle, and Annette grows from delicate to whopping inside a season. That takes care of the whole "most beautiful woman in the world" thing. She marries the pastry chef afterwards and they both ate a lot until old age claimed them.
And when Buttercup was ten, the most beautiful woman was an Indian woman, the daughter of a Bengali tea merchant, with skin of such dusky perfection unseen for eighty years. Then smallpox came, and that took care of that.
And when Buttercup was fifteen, the most beautiful woman was Adela of Sussex-on-the-Thames, who had 104 suitors, and one night worried her perfect complexion away over the fact that she would not always be young and beautiful.
All these wonderful asides to the audience(but of course, this was before audiencial asides.) It confuses you so much as to when this story takes place, but at the same time adds to the heightened realism. (This was before ulcers. And before Voltaire. After mirrors, obviously. They had acres then, and arguments too. It was before Europe, but after Paris. And after taste, too, but only just. This was before glamour. It came after stew, but so does everything else; and long after spats. This was after taxes, but they were here even before stew. This was after blue jeans, which were invented considerably earlier than most people suppose. It was just after America, but long after fortunes. It was long, long after hairdressers. This was before trains, but well after carpenters. It was before emergency wards, but not before doctors, although in Turkey doctors hadn't started setting bones yet - that was the domain of the milkmen. Golf balls were around already, but this was before "The Lady or the Tiger", remember.) And the game of golf, as everyone knows, was invented by Brandobras Took, the only hobbit ever big enough to ride a horse, slicing off a goblin's head, which sailed through the air for a hundred yards before dropping into a rabbit hole. The game spread at some unknown time from the Shire to Scotland, and then to the rest of the world. (Okay, I went off-topic there and brought in some Lord of the Rings elements....back to Goldman now.)
The parenthetical statistics given at every available opportunity: (There have only been eleven perfect complexions in India since accurate recording began; Adela Terrell had 104 suitors; Buttercup's parents were having their 33rd spat of the day when the Count and Countess drive up. Originally "jealousy" was a term solely relating to plants, which is how the term "green with jealousy" came to be, and Buttercup's current case was a close fourth on the all-time list. There have been five great kisses since its accidental invention in 1642 B.C., and while no one completely agrees on the exact formula, they all agreed that those five deserved perfect marks.) There are far more parenthetical statistics given throughout the rest of the novel, but as it's taken me a couple months to re-read it again for the sixth(ish? Possibly more) time, I forgot to keep a lookout for stats past this point.
The Countess settled permanently in Paris at some point to indulge her passion for fabrics and ran the only salon of international consequence, naturally.
Buttercup's parents did not exactly have what could be called a happy marriage; as all they ever dreamed about was leaving each other, but they died within a week apart. Her father is described as "a tiny mutt of a man, a terrible farmer, and not much of a husband either." Her mother was "a gnarled shrimp of a woman, a terrible cook and an even more limited housekeeper."
After the wonderfully odd cow-feeding scene, Buttercup spends almost three full pages thinking about the Countess and Westley and how people don't look at each other that way because of their teeth. And then at dawn the next morning she tells him that she loves him, in one page-long paragraph, words rushing out incoherently in an onslaught of emotion, and then does the bravest thing she'd ever done; looking him straight into his eyes. And what is his response? "He closed the door in her face. Without a word. Without a word."
Buttercup's hair is the "color of autumn", which is a great way of expressing it - but I'm still having trouble seeing her as a redhead.
Another great hallmark of William Goldman's writing, specifically this book, but also in a couple of his others, is the use of repetition, and then snapping into an analogy that makes you pause and think a minute before going on to the next sentence. Prince Humperdinck was shaped like a barrel, with a big barrel chest and big barrel thighs, and he walked like a crab sideways so that if he'd wished to be a ballet dancer he would have been doomed to an endless life of miserable frustration.
Sixty-six pages have been edited out of Chapter Two, The Groom, because they were irrelevant history of the Florinese monarchy. The resulting chapter is about three and a half pages long.
Queen Bella was shaped like a gumdrop, colored like a raspberry and was easily the most beloved person in the kingdom; but as the only stepmothers Humperdinck had ever heard of were evil, he always called her "Evil Stepmother", or "E.S." for short.
The chapter names and lengths, all choppy and mixed up from the typical formula. Prologue: 26 pages, Chapter One, The Bride: 23 pages. Chapter Two, The Groom: Three pages. Chapter Four, The Courtship: Seven pages. Chapter Four, Preparations: Zero pages, as it was entirely deleted. Okay, well, technically it's one page long, because the narrator has to explain why he took it out. Chapter Five, The Announcement: 92 pages long. Chapter Six, The Festivities: 52 pages long. Chapter Seven, The Wedding: 33 pages. Chapter Eight, Honeymoon: 16 pages.
Florin and Guilder have mainly stayed alive by warring near-constantly on each other. There's been the Olive War, the Tuna Fish Discrepancy(which nearly sent both nations into bankruptcy), the Roman Rift(which did send them into insolvency) and the Discord of the Emeralds, where they both got rich again by banding together and robbing everyone else within sailing distance.
Chapter Three, The Courtship, is possibly one of the best places in the book. The abridger slashed out 56 1/2 pages of packing, and leaves in these brilliant two paragraphs: "At 8:23 there seemed to be every chance of a lasting alliance forming between Florin and Guilder. At 8:24 the two countries were very close to war." Which is followed by three pages describing exactly what happened in those sixty seconds and the aftermath, and then by far the best courtship passage ever written in all literature.
From a narrative point of view, in all 105 pages of Chapter Four, Preparations, nothing happens. So it can basically be summed up by the sentence, "What with one thing and another, three years passed." (Buttercup is made Princess of Hammersmith, since Humperdinck can't possibly marry a commoner, and is trained in the art of being a princess. Also, both her parents die during this time.)
Vizzini is described as "dark". Sorry, but that just doesn't work....not complexion-wise, at least. Maybe he meant that as far as character goes? Also, he has the gentlest face, almost angelic.
The Cliffs of Insanity were not actually impossible to scale; two men had been known to climb them in the last century alone.
Inigo was raised by his father Domingo in the small village of Arabella in the mountains of Central Spain high above the city of Toledo, and he learned to cook from the age of six.
Yeste the swordmaker's fame grows so great that though he raises his price by twelve times there's still a line of royalty waiting for three years to obtain one of his weapons. He is very heavy; he has the only fat thumbs in Madrid.
Inigo searches for the six-fingered man all over Spain and Portugal; France, Italy, Germany, the whole of Switzerland, all of the Balkans, most of Scandinavia, he'd visited the Florinese and the natives of Guilder, gone into Russia and down step by step throughout the entire Mediterranean.
Perhaps thirty men in all the world were the equal of Inigo when he fought left-handed; perhaps as many as fifty, perhaps as few as ten.
Turkish hospital records list a total of eleven children who weighed over twenty pounds at birth, and ninety-five more between fifteen and twenty.
In the book, the Battle of Wits takes place at night. Vizzini always carries a knapsack around with him, and out of this he takes out a small handkerchief on which he then places two goblets of wine, along with some cheese and some apples.
And this exchange: "I cannot compete with you physically, and you are no match for my brains." "You are that smart?" "There are no words to contain all my wisdom. I am so cunning, so crafty and clever, so filled with deceit, guile and chicanery, such a knave, so shrewd, cagey as well as calculating, as diabolical as I am vulpine, as tricky as I am untrustworthy....well, I have told you that there have not been words invented yet to explain how great my brain is, but let me put it this way: the world is several million years old and several billion people have at one point or another trod upon it, but I, Vizzini the Sicilian, am, speaking with pure candor and modesty, the slickest, sleekest, sliest and wiliest man who has yet come down the pike."
Humperdinck's four whites were snowy, tireless giants, twenty hands high. He rode them all four at a time, bareback, leading the other three at full gallop, leaping from one to another at mid-stride so that none of them would have to bear his great bulk past the tiring point. Very clever, really.
"You think this is a trap, then?" the Count asked. "I always think everything is a trap until proven otherwise," the Prince answered. "Which is why I'm still alive."
The way the narrator slices into Morgenstern's criticism of his wife's criticism about deleting the reunion scene.
The largest known fire swamp in the world is, of course, a day's drive from Perth. It's over twenty-five miles square and completely impenetrable. The Florin-Guilder Fire Swamp is barely a third of that size, and nobody knows whether it's impenetrable or not.
Buttercup is 18 when this story begins, when the Count and Countess visit and she realizes she loves Westley and he sails for America, etc. What with one thing and another, three years pass, so she's 21 now. Based on their conversation about nightmares heading into the Fire Swamp, Westley is somewhere between 21 and 23 years old.
Nobody had ever explained to the cook of the Revenge the difference between table salt and cayenne pepper until Westley took the trouble, much to the Dread Pirate Roberts' relief.
Of course, he wasn't really the Dread Pirate Roberts; no, his full name was Felix Raymond Ryan, who inherited the ship from Cummerbund, who inherited it from Clooney, who was first mate to the original Dread Pirate Roberts, who had been retired somewhere between fifteen and twenty years by then and was living like a king in Patagonia.
It took them seven hours to walk through and get out of the Fire Swamp, and that first hour was by far the easiest. However, those following six hours are irrelevant to this story, so they're passed over in a sentence. WHAT. A. DAY. Whew....
Chapter Six, The Festivities is pretty much about just that; going on for 44 (deleted) pages as Humperdinck grows more interested and mannerly towards Buttercup. Then in a handful of quick flashbacks Morgenstern gets back to the real story. Inigo hates the Thieves Quarter; everyone is so big and dangerous and muscular; and he looked like a skinny Spanish guy it might be fun to rob. We also miss a six-page soliloquy from Inigo about fleeting glory.
A full page of elaboration on a three-word sentence(those seem to be the most mysterious and powerful of all sentence structures, don't they?) Anyway, the three-word sentence is this: Life isn't fair.
Buttercup's nightmares in Chapter Six are horrifying. Just....terrifying and awful.
Count Rugen has spent eleven years constructing The Machine, which appears to be an great conglomeration of soft-rimmed cups of infinitely varied sizes, together with some glue and a dial and a lever.
The average Florinese male lives to about 65, and the Count sucked away ten years of Westley's life during the week that Yellin was assembling his Brute Squad.
The narrator's retelling of the moment he learned that Westley died while Humperdinck lived. "I buried my head into the pillow and never cried like that again, not once to this day. I could almost feel my heart emptying onto my pillow. I guess the most amazing thing about crying is that when you're in it, you think it'll go on forever, but it never really lasts as long as you think. Not in terms of real time. In terms of real emotions, it's worse than you think, but not by the clock."
Max had married Valerie eighty years ago when they were both at Miracle School, she was a potion ladler, not a witch; but at that time every miracle man had to have a witch, so he called her one in public since she didn't mind, and she had learned enough of the witch trade over the years to pass herself off as authentic under pressure. In the old days, before Max was fired, the hut was where they tried experiments...and now it was their home. When Inigo and Fezzik bring Westley in, it's almost midnight, and Max was in the middle of reading a very-well-written article on eagle's claws. Valerie is described in the "Humperdinck! Humperdinck! Humperdinck!" speech as "an ancient tiny fury". (Isn't that just a wonderful description?)
The narrator clips about twenty pages and thirteen hours' worth of unnecessary action while Max and Valerie are concocting the miracle pill, as it was all too "Wizard of Oz"-like, apparently.
Switching swiftly back and forth minute-by-minute describing what action is taking place simultaneously all throughout the castle in Chapter Eight, The Honeymoon.
In the book, the wedding is performed by the Archdean(as opposed to the movie's Impressive Clergyman). His full amount of speaking lines: "Mawidge. Mawidge-" (Interrupted by Humperdinck) "Mawidge is a dweam wiffin a dweam...the dweam of wuv wapped wiffin the gweater dweam of everwasting west. Eternity is our fwiend, wemember that, and wuv wiw fowwow you fowever. (Interrupted again) I'm not there yet. (Interrupted by a now-furious Prince) Man and wife. You're man and wife."
This is the narrator's ending: "That's Morgenstern's ending, a "Lady or the Tiger" type of effect(this was before "The Lady or the Tiger", remember). Now, he was a satirist, so he left it that way, and my father, I guess I realized too late, was a romantic, so he ended it another way. Well, I'm an abridger, so I'm entitled to a couple ideas of my own. Did they make it? Was the pirate ship there? You can answer it for yourself, but for me, I say yes it was. And yes, they got away. And they got their strength back and had their share of adventures and more than their share of laughs. But that doesn't mean I think they had a happy ending, either. Because, in my opinion anyway, they squabbled a lot, and Buttercup lost her looks eventually, and one day Fezzik lost a fight and some hot-shot kid whipped Inigo with a sword and Westley was never able to really sleep sound because of Humperdinck maybe being on the trail. I'm not trying to make this a downer, understand. I really do believe that true love is the greatest thing in the world, except for cough drops. But I also have to say, for the umpy-umpth time, that life isn't fair. It's just fairer than death, that's all."
This is how I spend my weekends when snowbound by sleet, snow and negative wind chill. It was a fun project that took quite a while, recording all these little bits....I wonder if I could make an essay or speech based off it somehow? It worked for fairy tales...
If you've never READ the book before...well, hopefully this didn't spoil it too much. But you really should, you'd enjoy it. But as LaVar Burton always used to say, "Hey, don't take my word for it..."
Well, that's just barely scratching the surface of what I mean here, only covering George Lucas, the Bible, Harper Lee and Jan Karon. This post is concerned with the brilliant detailing of the satirical abridgment of S. Morgenstern's satirical history of the Florinese royalty known as The Princess Bride, written by William Goldman. First off, as the narrator highlights, the full title is The Princess Bride: S. Morgenstern's Classic Tale of True Love and High Adventure, he points out that you've got to love somebody who calls his own book a classic before it's been published or anybody else has had a chance to read it. And you do, just for the audacity of the deed. Furthermore, the extensive, extremely dry and entirely fictitious prologue explaining how the book came to be abridged is a masterstroke of Sicilian-level genius. Anyway, there's so many wonderful little details hidden all throughout the prologue and the book itself; creating an entirely plausible world that a lot of people would love to visit. I mean, the very first sentence has a hook that fuels a ferocious desire to find out what happens next: "This is my favorite book in all the world; though I have never read it." (Jaw drops in admiration for his writing skill. Isn't that just a wonderful beginning?) I named this blog after a passage from the sword-fight scene. So, much like the one about the little-noticed details of "The Big Green", this post takes a look at the terrific details from The Princess Bride(the book version.)
This sentence - the writer casting himself as the narrator describing his childhood - could have totally been written about my growing-up: "Basketball, baseball, marbles - I could never get enough. I wasn't even very good at them, but give me a football and an empty playground and I could invent last-second comebacks that would bring tears to your eyes." And he continues in the next paragraph with this: "I seemed busy, busy, busy, but I suppose, if pressed I would have admitted that, for all my frenzy, I was very much alone." And that's just on the first page!
That the narrator's radio is a Zenith; and it was a fall Friday in 1941 when he caught pneumonia, trying to catch the Northwestern-Notre Dame football game over the airwaves. And that his father was a Florinese immigrant whose English always stayed ridiculously immigranty; he worked all his life as the number-two-chair barber at the least popular barber shop in Highland Park, Illinois. His father died in that barber chair, and it took an hour for the number-one-chair barber to realize this because he thought the corpse was taking a nap.
S. Morgenstern had a head shaped like a giant balloon.
"Does it have any sports in it?" "Fencing. Fighting. Torture. Poison. True love. Hate. Revenge. Giants. Hunters. Bad men. Good men. Beautifulest ladies. Snakes. Spiders. Beasts of all natures and pain and descriptions. Pain. Death. Brave men. Coward men. Strongest men. Chases. Escapes. Lies. Truth. Passion. Miracles." "Sounds okay."
I've always read the prologue in the voice of The Wonder Years's narrator. Only recently I just realized that's probably because Fred Savage plays the Grandson in the movie.
THE BOOK -
All these side notes about who the most beautiful woman in the world was and why she yielded that position...the first sentence of the actual book begins: "The year Buttercup was born, the most beautiful woman in the world was a French scullery maid named Annette." Can you get a much more fairy-tale opening than that, not using the whole "Once upon a time..." cliche?
Anyway, Annette worked in Paris for the Duke and Duchess de Guiche, and it's not long before the Duke discovers that someone extraordinary is polishing the pewter. The Duchess notices this, and begins studying Annette for some flaw in her character(or appearance would be close enough). Annette's Achilles heel is chocolate, which the Duchess plants in strategic places all throughout the castle, and Annette grows from delicate to whopping inside a season. That takes care of the whole "most beautiful woman in the world" thing. She marries the pastry chef afterwards and they both ate a lot until old age claimed them.
And when Buttercup was ten, the most beautiful woman was an Indian woman, the daughter of a Bengali tea merchant, with skin of such dusky perfection unseen for eighty years. Then smallpox came, and that took care of that.
And when Buttercup was fifteen, the most beautiful woman was Adela of Sussex-on-the-Thames, who had 104 suitors, and one night worried her perfect complexion away over the fact that she would not always be young and beautiful.
All these wonderful asides to the audience(but of course, this was before audiencial asides.) It confuses you so much as to when this story takes place, but at the same time adds to the heightened realism. (This was before ulcers. And before Voltaire. After mirrors, obviously. They had acres then, and arguments too. It was before Europe, but after Paris. And after taste, too, but only just. This was before glamour. It came after stew, but so does everything else; and long after spats. This was after taxes, but they were here even before stew. This was after blue jeans, which were invented considerably earlier than most people suppose. It was just after America, but long after fortunes. It was long, long after hairdressers. This was before trains, but well after carpenters. It was before emergency wards, but not before doctors, although in Turkey doctors hadn't started setting bones yet - that was the domain of the milkmen. Golf balls were around already, but this was before "The Lady or the Tiger", remember.) And the game of golf, as everyone knows, was invented by Brandobras Took, the only hobbit ever big enough to ride a horse, slicing off a goblin's head, which sailed through the air for a hundred yards before dropping into a rabbit hole. The game spread at some unknown time from the Shire to Scotland, and then to the rest of the world. (Okay, I went off-topic there and brought in some Lord of the Rings elements....back to Goldman now.)
The parenthetical statistics given at every available opportunity: (There have only been eleven perfect complexions in India since accurate recording began; Adela Terrell had 104 suitors; Buttercup's parents were having their 33rd spat of the day when the Count and Countess drive up. Originally "jealousy" was a term solely relating to plants, which is how the term "green with jealousy" came to be, and Buttercup's current case was a close fourth on the all-time list. There have been five great kisses since its accidental invention in 1642 B.C., and while no one completely agrees on the exact formula, they all agreed that those five deserved perfect marks.) There are far more parenthetical statistics given throughout the rest of the novel, but as it's taken me a couple months to re-read it again for the sixth(ish? Possibly more) time, I forgot to keep a lookout for stats past this point.
The Countess settled permanently in Paris at some point to indulge her passion for fabrics and ran the only salon of international consequence, naturally.
After the wonderfully odd cow-feeding scene, Buttercup spends almost three full pages thinking about the Countess and Westley and how people don't look at each other that way because of their teeth. And then at dawn the next morning she tells him that she loves him, in one page-long paragraph, words rushing out incoherently in an onslaught of emotion, and then does the bravest thing she'd ever done; looking him straight into his eyes. And what is his response? "He closed the door in her face. Without a word. Without a word."
Buttercup's hair is the "color of autumn", which is a great way of expressing it - but I'm still having trouble seeing her as a redhead.
Another great hallmark of William Goldman's writing, specifically this book, but also in a couple of his others, is the use of repetition, and then snapping into an analogy that makes you pause and think a minute before going on to the next sentence. Prince Humperdinck was shaped like a barrel, with a big barrel chest and big barrel thighs, and he walked like a crab sideways so that if he'd wished to be a ballet dancer he would have been doomed to an endless life of miserable frustration.
Sixty-six pages have been edited out of Chapter Two, The Groom, because they were irrelevant history of the Florinese monarchy. The resulting chapter is about three and a half pages long.
Queen Bella was shaped like a gumdrop, colored like a raspberry and was easily the most beloved person in the kingdom; but as the only stepmothers Humperdinck had ever heard of were evil, he always called her "Evil Stepmother", or "E.S." for short.
The chapter names and lengths, all choppy and mixed up from the typical formula. Prologue: 26 pages, Chapter One, The Bride: 23 pages. Chapter Two, The Groom: Three pages. Chapter Four, The Courtship: Seven pages. Chapter Four, Preparations: Zero pages, as it was entirely deleted. Okay, well, technically it's one page long, because the narrator has to explain why he took it out. Chapter Five, The Announcement: 92 pages long. Chapter Six, The Festivities: 52 pages long. Chapter Seven, The Wedding: 33 pages. Chapter Eight, Honeymoon: 16 pages.
Florin and Guilder have mainly stayed alive by warring near-constantly on each other. There's been the Olive War, the Tuna Fish Discrepancy(which nearly sent both nations into bankruptcy), the Roman Rift(which did send them into insolvency) and the Discord of the Emeralds, where they both got rich again by banding together and robbing everyone else within sailing distance.
Chapter Three, The Courtship, is possibly one of the best places in the book. The abridger slashed out 56 1/2 pages of packing, and leaves in these brilliant two paragraphs: "At 8:23 there seemed to be every chance of a lasting alliance forming between Florin and Guilder. At 8:24 the two countries were very close to war." Which is followed by three pages describing exactly what happened in those sixty seconds and the aftermath, and then by far the best courtship passage ever written in all literature.
From a narrative point of view, in all 105 pages of Chapter Four, Preparations, nothing happens. So it can basically be summed up by the sentence, "What with one thing and another, three years passed." (Buttercup is made Princess of Hammersmith, since Humperdinck can't possibly marry a commoner, and is trained in the art of being a princess. Also, both her parents die during this time.)
Vizzini is described as "dark". Sorry, but that just doesn't work....not complexion-wise, at least. Maybe he meant that as far as character goes? Also, he has the gentlest face, almost angelic.
The Cliffs of Insanity were not actually impossible to scale; two men had been known to climb them in the last century alone.
Inigo was raised by his father Domingo in the small village of Arabella in the mountains of Central Spain high above the city of Toledo, and he learned to cook from the age of six.
Yeste the swordmaker's fame grows so great that though he raises his price by twelve times there's still a line of royalty waiting for three years to obtain one of his weapons. He is very heavy; he has the only fat thumbs in Madrid.
Inigo searches for the six-fingered man all over Spain and Portugal; France, Italy, Germany, the whole of Switzerland, all of the Balkans, most of Scandinavia, he'd visited the Florinese and the natives of Guilder, gone into Russia and down step by step throughout the entire Mediterranean.
Perhaps thirty men in all the world were the equal of Inigo when he fought left-handed; perhaps as many as fifty, perhaps as few as ten.
Turkish hospital records list a total of eleven children who weighed over twenty pounds at birth, and ninety-five more between fifteen and twenty.
In the book, the Battle of Wits takes place at night. Vizzini always carries a knapsack around with him, and out of this he takes out a small handkerchief on which he then places two goblets of wine, along with some cheese and some apples.
And this exchange: "I cannot compete with you physically, and you are no match for my brains." "You are that smart?" "There are no words to contain all my wisdom. I am so cunning, so crafty and clever, so filled with deceit, guile and chicanery, such a knave, so shrewd, cagey as well as calculating, as diabolical as I am vulpine, as tricky as I am untrustworthy....well, I have told you that there have not been words invented yet to explain how great my brain is, but let me put it this way: the world is several million years old and several billion people have at one point or another trod upon it, but I, Vizzini the Sicilian, am, speaking with pure candor and modesty, the slickest, sleekest, sliest and wiliest man who has yet come down the pike."
Humperdinck's four whites were snowy, tireless giants, twenty hands high. He rode them all four at a time, bareback, leading the other three at full gallop, leaping from one to another at mid-stride so that none of them would have to bear his great bulk past the tiring point. Very clever, really.
"You think this is a trap, then?" the Count asked. "I always think everything is a trap until proven otherwise," the Prince answered. "Which is why I'm still alive."
The way the narrator slices into Morgenstern's criticism of his wife's criticism about deleting the reunion scene.
The largest known fire swamp in the world is, of course, a day's drive from Perth. It's over twenty-five miles square and completely impenetrable. The Florin-Guilder Fire Swamp is barely a third of that size, and nobody knows whether it's impenetrable or not.
Buttercup is 18 when this story begins, when the Count and Countess visit and she realizes she loves Westley and he sails for America, etc. What with one thing and another, three years pass, so she's 21 now. Based on their conversation about nightmares heading into the Fire Swamp, Westley is somewhere between 21 and 23 years old.
Nobody had ever explained to the cook of the Revenge the difference between table salt and cayenne pepper until Westley took the trouble, much to the Dread Pirate Roberts' relief.
Of course, he wasn't really the Dread Pirate Roberts; no, his full name was Felix Raymond Ryan, who inherited the ship from Cummerbund, who inherited it from Clooney, who was first mate to the original Dread Pirate Roberts, who had been retired somewhere between fifteen and twenty years by then and was living like a king in Patagonia.
It took them seven hours to walk through and get out of the Fire Swamp, and that first hour was by far the easiest. However, those following six hours are irrelevant to this story, so they're passed over in a sentence. WHAT. A. DAY. Whew....
Chapter Six, The Festivities is pretty much about just that; going on for 44 (deleted) pages as Humperdinck grows more interested and mannerly towards Buttercup. Then in a handful of quick flashbacks Morgenstern gets back to the real story. Inigo hates the Thieves Quarter; everyone is so big and dangerous and muscular; and he looked like a skinny Spanish guy it might be fun to rob. We also miss a six-page soliloquy from Inigo about fleeting glory.
A full page of elaboration on a three-word sentence(those seem to be the most mysterious and powerful of all sentence structures, don't they?) Anyway, the three-word sentence is this: Life isn't fair.
Buttercup's nightmares in Chapter Six are horrifying. Just....terrifying and awful.
Count Rugen has spent eleven years constructing The Machine, which appears to be an great conglomeration of soft-rimmed cups of infinitely varied sizes, together with some glue and a dial and a lever.
The average Florinese male lives to about 65, and the Count sucked away ten years of Westley's life during the week that Yellin was assembling his Brute Squad.
The narrator's retelling of the moment he learned that Westley died while Humperdinck lived. "I buried my head into the pillow and never cried like that again, not once to this day. I could almost feel my heart emptying onto my pillow. I guess the most amazing thing about crying is that when you're in it, you think it'll go on forever, but it never really lasts as long as you think. Not in terms of real time. In terms of real emotions, it's worse than you think, but not by the clock."
Max had married Valerie eighty years ago when they were both at Miracle School, she was a potion ladler, not a witch; but at that time every miracle man had to have a witch, so he called her one in public since she didn't mind, and she had learned enough of the witch trade over the years to pass herself off as authentic under pressure. In the old days, before Max was fired, the hut was where they tried experiments...and now it was their home. When Inigo and Fezzik bring Westley in, it's almost midnight, and Max was in the middle of reading a very-well-written article on eagle's claws. Valerie is described in the "Humperdinck! Humperdinck! Humperdinck!" speech as "an ancient tiny fury". (Isn't that just a wonderful description?)
The narrator clips about twenty pages and thirteen hours' worth of unnecessary action while Max and Valerie are concocting the miracle pill, as it was all too "Wizard of Oz"-like, apparently.
Switching swiftly back and forth minute-by-minute describing what action is taking place simultaneously all throughout the castle in Chapter Eight, The Honeymoon.
In the book, the wedding is performed by the Archdean(as opposed to the movie's Impressive Clergyman). His full amount of speaking lines: "Mawidge. Mawidge-" (Interrupted by Humperdinck) "Mawidge is a dweam wiffin a dweam...the dweam of wuv wapped wiffin the gweater dweam of everwasting west. Eternity is our fwiend, wemember that, and wuv wiw fowwow you fowever. (Interrupted again) I'm not there yet. (Interrupted by a now-furious Prince) Man and wife. You're man and wife."
This is the narrator's ending: "That's Morgenstern's ending, a "Lady or the Tiger" type of effect(this was before "The Lady or the Tiger", remember). Now, he was a satirist, so he left it that way, and my father, I guess I realized too late, was a romantic, so he ended it another way. Well, I'm an abridger, so I'm entitled to a couple ideas of my own. Did they make it? Was the pirate ship there? You can answer it for yourself, but for me, I say yes it was. And yes, they got away. And they got their strength back and had their share of adventures and more than their share of laughs. But that doesn't mean I think they had a happy ending, either. Because, in my opinion anyway, they squabbled a lot, and Buttercup lost her looks eventually, and one day Fezzik lost a fight and some hot-shot kid whipped Inigo with a sword and Westley was never able to really sleep sound because of Humperdinck maybe being on the trail. I'm not trying to make this a downer, understand. I really do believe that true love is the greatest thing in the world, except for cough drops. But I also have to say, for the umpy-umpth time, that life isn't fair. It's just fairer than death, that's all."
This is how I spend my weekends when snowbound by sleet, snow and negative wind chill. It was a fun project that took quite a while, recording all these little bits....I wonder if I could make an essay or speech based off it somehow? It worked for fairy tales...
If you've never READ the book before...well, hopefully this didn't spoil it too much. But you really should, you'd enjoy it. But as LaVar Burton always used to say, "Hey, don't take my word for it..."
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