"Let's See, Umm..." A Work in Progress

This is my high school graduation speech, titled A Work in Progress, because I couldn't think of anything better with four minutes to think of a title. The "Let's see, umm..." was my first response to stall for time to come up with something. Given on May 12, 2012.

   You know, I probably shouldn’t be here right now, giving this speech, because you’re not supposed to live when you’re born seventeen weeks early. Not live normally, at least. I was born four months early, a little under nineteen years ago, I weighed one pound, ten ounces, and you could set me inside a QuikTrip cup.

   The doctors said I’d have cerebal palsy, but I don’t. So many people, from all over the country, were praying for me, that I’d be okay, they said God had a purpose with my life, most of them I’ve never even met. And He does have a purpose for my life, answering those prayers. Had a ton of surgeries, didn’t come home for the first time until October, but mentally, I’ve always been ordinary, the only lasting effects from being such an early preemie are physical – I’ve always been a runt, and there’s a few scars. And my eye, of course. But they weren’t sure if either of them could be saved, so to have one working, that’s a huge blessing.

                                    

   My parents were youth pastors til I was eight years old, so we moved often, in both our homes and our churches, and I usually hung out with the cool teenagers, so I had some trouble making friends near my own age until I started doing choir, and later drama, with the homeschool group in fifth grade for about three years.

   I’m grateful for the time I got to do that, and the friendships I made in those practices. Being out there on the stage helped me get over my shyness, thank you all for that. God used those skits and programs as a means to grow me as a person.

   And yes, I put WAY too much effort into every show, thanks for putting up with me. One of the biggest lessons I learned from you all was to just relax, step back and realize that it doesn’t really matter if every single little detail is perfect. You should still aim for that, but the world (probably) won’t end if you mess up.

   Another tool God’s used in my life so far has been writing, starting with a spur-of-the-moment entry into sportswriting for newspapers in eighth grade. I’ve had great teachers explaining how I can improve my writing, first in Valerie Rice and then later on the staff of a website I got to do some work with.

   Whether it’s for newspapers, Facebook stuff nobody reads, or stuff for my blog, I’m trying to tell stories well, hoping to glorify Christ in those. And if people like reading them, or if they’re funny, that’s a nice side benefit. I learned about reliability, meeting deadlines, tact and empathy, just to name a few things from writing.

     Another piece of life that God’s used to shape me would be the Sovereign Grace Youth Camp in Missouri. I went for the first time just after eighth grade on a dare, basically, just to see if I could make it for a week without my family nearby.

   I found that I could, and I’ve grown so much over the years spiritually with the people I’ve met there, making some great friendships with some awesome guys and girls, kind of an iron sharpening iron thing, like Solomon said in Proverbs. It’s definitely played an important role in shaping me to where I am now.

   My church family at Tulsa’s Grace Bible Church has been such a blessing over the eight years we’ve gone there, it’s a place filled with caring people who passionately study the Scriptures and encourage and explain them, sharing the Gospel in both words and actions, as we all strive to grow closer to Christ.

   Took a while to get used to, but after awhile I developed a lot of great friendships with both teens and adults; Lord willing, some will continue for quite a while longer. Just learned so much, had some great times, and I really appreciate all they’ve done, thankful that God’s placed them in my life.

   My freshman year of high school, we had a house fire two weeks before Christmas, we moved to Tahlequah while rebuilding.

   It was a tough time, but it’s those times when all you can see are smoke, stud nails and deadlines that you grow closer to God, become more mature. It was a stressful time, it was hard, but it was worth it, somehow; I’m still amazed by God’s grace and strength to get us through it. Found some verses in Isaiah 43 that I love, verses one through three: “But this is what the Lord says – He who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel; “Fear not, for I have redeemed you, I have called you by name, you are Mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you, and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned, the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.”

   GBC people helped in so, so many ways, with the house and prayer, Okmulgee-area folks helped a lot in the rebuilding, giving me news of what was happening close to home, and my camp friends provided tons of encouragement. We got to know my mom’s family a lot better, it was great to be so close to them. Those ten months were some of the hardest times in what some would view as a long string of them, and I wondered pretty often exactly how I’d get through it, but God had a reason He planned it in our lives, and He saw us through it all.

   For some reason, people come to me pretty often for advice, which is cool, and more than a little scary. That’s usually followed by a quick prayer: “Lord, help! I need some good words here!”, and then I’m never really sure if what I say is helpful or not, though it’s hopefully godly and Biblical.

   In the first Spider-Man movie, Ben Parker cautioned Peter once that “These are the years a man changes into what he’s going to become for the rest of his life. Be careful who you change into.” I’ve tried to heed that advice, whether it’s my web of mistakes I’m walking through, or trying to help pals fight through theirs. “It’s our choices that make us who we are,” Peter says at the end of the third movie, “and we can always choose to do what’s right.”  I’ve tried to make the right choices in what I do, sometimes I haven’t, they’ve gotten me into some pretty sticky situations, but overall it’s turned out okay.

   Over my life so far, I’ve met a lot of good people, had some good friends, and known some great animals. Had some terrific experiences, visiting Washington, D.C. on Youth Tour, that was a trip of a lifetime. Smaller-scale things like game nights with the youth group, or being on the trail of some ballgame or other, searching for how to tell the stories.

   Another Spider-Man reference; in that scene in the first movie where Peter’s taking out the trash, and he and Mary Jane have that conversation about the future after graduation, she hesitantly expresses her dreams of acting on Broadway and hopefully getting married. He reminds her how much he’s admired her past acting, tells her she’ll do great. She asks him what he sees in his own future. He pauses, then says, “I don’t really know, exactly. Whatever it is, it’s somethin’ I’ve never felt before.”

   I’m headed back to Tahlequah for the third time in nineteen years in August, a Northeastern State RiverHawk studying Mass Communications, but beyond that, I have no idea how the next few years, the next few months will turn out. I’ll probably make some new mistakes, meet some new friends, grow stronger as a Christian, but I’m just human, I don’t know. But God does, and He’s gotten me through life, He’ll guide me through my future in just the way He’s planned out for me.