Thursday, January 31, 2013

AI-12 Auditions, Oklahoma City

     "Moans" It's almost the end of a llllllooooooonnnnggg, loooonnnngg, loooonnnggg week, I take an hour that I kind of can't have to spare in order to watch Idol....and that happens. That was embarrassing. I'm not from Oklahoma, people...
Karl was nuts, but good. Nice original song. Ryan: "So...what do you do in Joplin?" "Well, I live there." Looks like Dale Earnhardt Jr.
The sunlight was giving Keith casts on his thumbs, it was distracting.
The Montage of Poor Singers was odd.
Nate the ASL translator seemed like a cool guy, he was a good singer. Randy: "You walked in with your tie, kind of unassuming....I thought you were going to do my taxes or something."
Haley the ventriloquist was very good. And Oscar was funny. (Specially the way he got his own byline: "Oscar, 17, Talented Dog") Poor homeless puppy, yodeling for food..that was pathetic, and in a strange way very funny.
Zoanette...yikes. ("Shivers").I've heard the National Anthem sung much worse....(Like, at all NBA Finals games, for example...) but that was...ehhhwwww. So bad Keith fell out of his chair laughing. And then they voted her in by mistake? WHAT-?!!!!
The Crying Montage....
Anatasia....sorry. When Nicki does a Keith-slam on the table...that's sad. And then the voices..."groans in pain" The Cheap Dramazation was really good, though.
Kayden was very excited.
Hello, Steven Tyler...still delusional, I see. That was even worse than normal for him, though - (In a cold panicked tone) "That was Murdoc..."
45 tickets, so at least 255 people went to Hollywood in December.
Ryan and Keith went to see a Thunder game during their stay, I think we lost.
Here I go, studying again....after I study all the way up until 13 minutes to showtime, and then have to witness that...and then accidentally watched two minutes of Glee....(It's truly as bad as everyone says it is.)
I NEED SLEEP.

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

AI-12 Auditions, San Antonio/Long Beach

     There was a lot to this episode. A lot of good people, a lot of terrible people, a lot of quotes, a lot of of really bad singers who got through....
    
     San Antonio Contestants -

Vincent who went first was really old for this show(29), not my music.
Derek and David seemed like nice guys at first, if awkward, but they COULD. NOT. sing together. Maybe they would have sounded better separate? The judges were killing them, but they were rude too, so....it was a Dramatic Clash at the Alamodome. Rude all around.
Savannah was the sob story single mom....and she looked like a Spurs cheerleader stranded in the wrong place...and then she STARTED SINGING. It was bluesy wailing, sort of like a beagle, only less musical. NO.
Two-Tone Ricki Jo....that was painful, hahahaha.....
Cristabel was all right. Weird hair, though.
Ann seemed likable and friendly, she sang well. Easy to cheer for.
Victoria had a voice that was all right, but WAY TOO MUCH LIPSTICK. And a mariachi singer? ...Really?
The Outlaw Montage was fantastic. Ly awful.
Papa Peachez: Oh please...And then, that was supposed to be...a song? Uh.... Thank goodness for Keith Urban, a judge who actually judges and doesn't mess around with false praise. "That seemed very theatrical, so much so that I couldn't find you in there...It's a no." (Immediately slams his head into the table as Nicki's nagging begins)
Sonny was a friendly guy, seemed cool to hang out with, he sounded all right. KU: "You have a great balance of humility and confidence." (WHERE were critques like that, Paula/Ellen/Steven/Jennifer/Mariah?)
Adam sounded like a girl. A girl who can't sing.
    
     San Antonio Quotes -

Ryan, to Cristabel's husband, who's holding sleeping son: "So, today's the big day?" "Yep." "What if she makes it?" "He's probably going to still be asleep."
Ann, on being surprised by Randy at the U of A football game: "Did that really just happen?" Her husband Jordan: "It really just happened." "I'm literally living in a dream right now."
Keith on Ann's audition: "You had a lot of faith right there." Ann(nodding): "Yeah. And passion, too. It's...just that kinda song." Mariah: "I think he meant Hill..." Keith: "Well, yeah, there was a lot of that, too."
Nicki on somebody horrible: "Eek."
An exasperated Keith on Nicki's incessant pleading to get Randy to change his mind on Papa Peachez(The Dawg held tiebreaker for now, she succeeded, he went to Hollywood...sigh), muttered in her ear: "You're evil."
Randy to Nicki after Sonny's audition: "Nicki, what'd you think?" "I'm thinking of candy canes, and rainbows, and strawberries, and whipped cream, and blue skies..."
    
     San Antonio Miscellany -

The contestant numbers were really low. Keith had just gotten his highlights done, Nicki's first-day wig was platnium. her second-day wig was black, and she had a "Sparkly. Purple. Plaid." hat...even for her, that's... odd. What was that black thing Mariah had on her shoulders at first? They didn't announce golden tickets for Texas.
    
     Long Beach Contestants -

Shuba was horrible, and thankfully, easily forgettable.
Brian the Restroom Singer...Oh....(groaning). Loved all the bathroom jokes, it'd take way too long to type out his whole auditon, because the whole thing was full of great quotes, so just YouTube it ASAP.
Matt the veteran had a good voice, but I hate that song. Keith immediately jumped on his tattoos, neat backstory on them, memorializing his fallen Army buddies. I was trying to figure out, is he a single dad? Cause it seemed that way, but then that lady at the end had a sign that looked like it might have said "My husband is going to Hollywood", so I'm not sure. His daughter sort of stole the show.
Stephanie Purple Hair did a screamo version of Adele. That's got to set a new record for weird. And the way she galloped out of there smashing into things...halfway through the song?
Josiah the Captain: No way! And then the fire alarms went off...making a bad audition worse.
The Ghost Montage was great.
Micah the Tonsils Guy I instantly felt sorry for, his story is real, and more evidence of why dentists are some of the worst people on Earth. And then I froze when he said he was singing "Chicken Fried". And then I was Blown. Away. THAT WAS INCREDIBLE! Taking a great country song and gospelizing it...I wrote in my notebook: "LOVE THAT!!"
Rachel was funny, and she can sing!
Briana had another sob story, on bullying....okay voice, not remarkable in any way.
Matheus is short....dislike that song, but he did great, and seems likable.
    
     Long Beach Quotes -

Keith and Randy looking around in confusion at beginning of audition: KU: "Budget cuts..?" RJ: "Nah...I think they must be lost at sea." KU: "Did you mean that metaphorically, or...?"
Keith on terrible contestant: "That was unusual."
Randy on terrible contestant: "I have indigestion after listening to that."
Randy on Rachel: "She has to be the happiest contestant I've seen, ever."
Matheus: "First, before I sing...Is there a height limit on this show?"
    
     Long Beach Miscellany -

Who had the bright idea to stage auditions on a cruise ship? Didn't they learn anything from Season 11's San Diego aircraft carrier? I loved the cinematic opening to the second half of tonight's episode, and the critics' praises of the film were fantastic. "Mariah eats up the screen...and Randy eats up everything else." "It's like Titanic meets The Love Boat...only more Urban." It was hilarious that Mariah was stuck in traffic, and it was in a way nice to have Nicki gone for a bit, things were more sane. Mariah still didn't have anything useful to say, but Keith did, and Randy was more his old self. Fifty California tickets, that brings us to at least 210 in Hollywood.
    
     More Miscellaneous Bits -

I love the Coke Happiness Calories commercial. All Krave cereal ads are dumb. The JCPenney "Same Clothes, Cheaper Prices" spots were interesting. Maybelline was...audition-quality weird, all of them. The Kay Photobooth was sappy, but in a good way, that was a good ad. And the Kay Star was another good one. (Why are Kay Jewelers commercials generally so good?)
Of the movies soon-to-be-in-theaters, Beautiful Creatures looks terrible. Warm Bodies looks horrible. Identity Theft will be awful. Safe Haven looks like it might be good. Escape From Planet Earth looks like a sequel to Monsters Vs. Aliens, and of about the same quality: Good for about five great one-liners, and the rest of the film is empty nothingness.
     Most surprising of all: The 1979 Mean Joe Greene Coke ad was dethroned by CBS as All-Time Best Super Bowl Commercial Ever Filmed by the 2006 Making The Team Budweiser ad. (!!!!) Yes, that is a good ad. But not anywhere near that good!

Monday, January 28, 2013

Super Commercials

      Only at the Super Bowl would people watch the game for the commercials. And only Super Bowl commercials would often be remembered more than the actual game.... I've been doing some YouTube research lately to share my favorites.
      (Something to keep in mind: This list will be heavily dominated by beer ads, because those are the most-commonly-seen commercials during sporting events. Also, the breweries have the most creative marketing people.) Not really listed in any meaningful order, except I saved my all-time top ad for last.

1999 City Budweiser - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uvu_WtduxII
Maybe it's the jingle, or the fast-moving clips of everyday life? Either way, this has always stuck in my mind as an example of a very good ad.

1998 Skyboarder/Goose Pepsi - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EhBt1hJLCPU
Looking at it now fifteen years later(oh, gosh. That makes me sound old.) you can see this was almost totally CGIed, but it's still a terrific commercial. I love how the Pepsi stream flows sideways because of the gravity and everything...and then the flock of geese is flying in the Pepsi formation, which is a cool touch. (They never should have changed from that logo/can design...)

2010 Shock Collar Doritos - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UBaZDWIs3fs
This is the best Super Bowl ad I've seen in the last five or so years, because it's the only one I can still remember and get a laugh out of it.

1979 Mean Joe Greene Coca-Cola - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xffOCZYX6F8
OF COURSE this is going on the list.....widely regarded as one of the best commercials ever. And it is wonderful, but not my personal favorite...we'll get to that at the end. Awesome. Just awesome. How many commercials do you know the backstory of? That become legendary? It was filmed over two days in this little stadium in Pennsylvania, and he had to drink that whole bottle in one draught. It took seventeen takes just on that part alone. And then the fantasy aspect....how amazing would it be to have one of your favorite players toss you his jersey after a game?

1993 Larry Bird/Michael Jordan Shooting Contest McDonald's Big Mac - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1shK-j_u6LI
Michael Jordan! Trick shots! Larry Bird! A huge delicious burger! This has it all.
(So good, they made a sequel in 1994, with the tricks getting wackier and Charles Barkley tagging along. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xz7FpzYynio )
((And a remake from 2010, the second-best commercial that year. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PmrTDZy3f2M Watch it til the end, it's hilarious.))

1999 Dalmatian Twins Budweiser - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vp_szhKqIK0
Lost in all the hulking shadows of the Clydesdales are the Budweiser Dalmatians, who starred in a few terrific ads of their own.

2007 Rock Paper Scissors Bud Light - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5w-rZ4s4_M
The commercial of the decade. Or it should be, anyway.

2000 "WAZZZUPPPP!!!!!" Budweiser - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mO1NyXlnL84
Or maybe this was....

2007 "Dude." Bud Light - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dyMSSe7cOvA
Amazing how one line, repeated over and over, can be so memorable...

 The Little Pepsi Girl series - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sNFauIR9-LQ, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NuHwqlmXEfk, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2gXDUKz1BD8

AND....MY ALL-TIME FAVORITE COMMERCIAL IN HISTORY -

1995 Clydesdales Football Budweiser - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8KzPirIQkPQ A slightly reshot version the next year - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZNqtNBMfa0E
The. Best. Commercial. Ever. Filmed. So incredibly amazing....even now, I can watch the dirt fly, see the horses' sweat and hear the crash of their bodies running into each other....the ball as it gets placed for the kick...and then the ball fading off into the distance over the power line is one of those shots that just will never be topped, like that last scene in the first Back To The Future movie where you see the tire tracks in flames in the middle of the road as the rain starts to pour down....And then, of course, the two lines of dialogue at the end are awesome.

Thursday, January 24, 2013

AI-12 Auditions, Baton Rouge

Tonight's recap will be very short. It sucked.
Mariah doing Randy's makeup was entertaining, I wonder if she was really a beauty-school dropout?
Megan Miss Louisiana was annoying, not my style, reminded me of Haley Scarnato. She was INSANE to postpone surgery on her broken leg until after auditions, the little thing she did at the end with her crutch-microphone was kinda clever. Keith: "I thought you were gonna sing "Lean On Me" or something."
Charlie was odd, almost pitiful. Theatrical and shouting all the way through, it was highly creepy. I was wishing Simon was here to crush him. Mariah: "A mysterious yes from me."
Maddie sounded like something going across a chalkboard. SCCCCrrrrraaaaaaaaaape.....
The montage of the animals freaking out from the horrible people was funny. (Javelinas, a baby goat, an alligator, and a couple snakes, maybe more I missed)
Paul was all right for an ordinary guy, but it just sounded like a good impression of Gary LeVox, not original enough. The "My Wish" voiceover was perfect, though.
Chris/Mushroom....you gotta be kidding. Anyway, somehow they got to talking abotu Zodiac signs...Nicki: "I'm a Sagittarius." Mariah: "Aries." Randy: "What are you, Keith?" Keith: "Confused." And more Nicki being weird...."When I wear my blanket I have special powers."
Calvin the Singing Doctor is cool, and he can sing, too! Hope he does well. Don't know the name of that Bruno Mars song that was the voiceover, but I like it.
Dustin the Firefighter is awesome. Can't go wrong with Garth(usually, that is...) Anyway, I've always liked that song(She's Every Woman). Though they WOULD play that awful George Strait song "The Fireman" as a voiceover...It was awesome that they went to the firehouse as he was telling his buddies.
Burnell who went last was a no from me. That yellow jacket I thought at first was a flag-football belt. I tuned out after he mentioned Katrina.
35 golden tickets given out somehow, that brings us to 160 in Hollywood so far.
The Discover and Kraft ads were good, the CoverGirl/Maybelline/Olay ads were stupid, as they should be. That hair commercial with the tree, it's not actually comparing your hair to tree roots...it's comparing it to dirt. (So much better, right?) The Verizon one with the guy biking in a huge heart was dumb, but then so is the whole concept of Valentine's.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

AI-12 Auditions, Charlotte

     Welll....that was interesting....
     I enjoyed most of it, I think? ...After Keith left it kind of ran off the rails a bit....okay, a lot.....okay, the end sort of was a train wreck....but, uh, yeah, overall, it was a strange episode. They were in Charlotte this time, at Charlotte Motor Speedway, actually; so the new Ford Fusion got a ton of promo spots. Awesome NASCAR-themed intro, but Ryan didn't get to give his line. Nicki's first wig looked exactly like cotton candy. She was wearing pajamas the second day, Keith's T-shirt was cool.
     The Contestants -
Naomi who went first was SHOUTING. And...that's great that you can make your own clothes, but do we really need to see the homemade bra?
Joel the Napper...NO. And....bowing? Totally awkward from start to finish... sorry dude.
Brian the Bookkeeper seemed like a nice guy, but totally forgettable, and his voice wasn't that great.
Jimmy looked really weird, but he had a surprisingly good voice, he can sing, dawg!
Sarina was all right. Those other two in her montage, the squeaky lady and the blonde, were both terrible.
Matthew Excitement was murdering Brad Paisley....I would rather listen to Dolly sing the entire way through "When I Get Where I'm Going" than him. And the dancing....worse than Megan's! Or almost as bad, anyway! UGH!!!! Dreadful audition.
Isabel seems like a mashup of two of my friends, it's a weird personality blend. Good voice, disliked the choice of song. Her little sister with the Silly String is awesome.
Taisha the rocker was really good! Completely different sound from what I was expecting, I don't even like Johnny Cash or Alannis Morrisette and I enjoyed that.
Vote for Summer! (More on her audition later....)
Brandy was good, to start the second day.
Ashley(too many Ashleys on this show so far this season....)....ack. The nicest way I think of to describe her is Miss Piggy. But man, could she sing....that was insane.
Janelle, yes! Though I don't think I personally would sing one of a judge's songs if they were currently on the panel, she totally rocked "Where the Blacktop Ends", and then to transiton into a medley with "Walk In the Country", wow. Fantastic. And then she locked herself out, haha.
Rodney the Street Singer had a nice sound.
Candice....ehh. I didn't like her last season, that was bad black music, but here she is again and everyone is gushing about how enthralling it is...."agghhhh!!!!!" Female Joshua Ledet...
Ja'Bria the Frog Killer, uh-uh. It's a no from me, the judges were funny.
Brad....Unbroken stretch of Class Clown and/or Loose Cannon in school? I mean, your rapper name being Bacon? And then singing a song, not just from Aladdin, but the main song from Aladdin, "Whole New World"??? Funny, but....just weird, man. Not Norman Gentle weird, just...."Where the heck did that come from?" weird.
Sheriffa was the obligatory sob story...my attitude towards these "My loved one is in the hospital, etc, and I want to pursue my dreams and give them a surprise to boost them up, encourage them, yadda yadda yadda" stories is well documented (I get it, it's a rough time with the family. Which is why you don't travel 3,000 miles away from them...!!!) ....and then the theme song from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air? Neat that her daughter brought Nicki the teddy bear.
     The Quotes -
Ryan, while driving around the track filming the intro - "This is the most fun shoot ever!"
Family Dynamics at work...on entrance to judging room: Randy - "Charlotte Motor Speedway." Nicki - "Wanna race?" Keith - "I'd totally race you, Nicki."
Brian the Bookeeper, talking about his wife: "She makes me go sing in the basement." Judges look uneasy, preparing to be dismayed. "She totally loves Keith Urban, though. She had to go get her nails done, and her hair, and all, and I'm like, "I'm the one who's auditioning", but she's like, "Yeah, but I might get to meet Keith Urban!" Keith in mock horror: "She wouldn't make him sing in the basement, would she???"
Mariah in southern drawl - "Yaaaaaaaap..." Keith - "That was like a Beverly Hillbillies 'Yep!'"
Ryan, as Isabel is coming back to her family, where her little sister is poised to fire the Silly String all over the place - "Duck."
Nicki, whimpering - "Something about that was scary...."
Nicki, to Ja'Bria - "So, what do you like to do?" "I like to hunt. And fish." "Oh, you hunt? What do you hunt?" "Y'ever hear of frog giggin'?" (Blank stare from Nicki) "No." Randy - "Frog whatting? Gigging?" There was then a discussion on frog legs, how they should be prepared, whether they tasted good or not, and whether it was ethical to kill frogs. It was kinda entertaining.
Food was a topic of much discussion tonight....there were lots of "I'm starving!"s, including a neat exchange between Nicki and Keith. "I'm so hungry-!! What's that you're eating?" He looks at her. "Trail mix." "That looks good. Can I have some? I think from now on I'm just gonna snack on whatever he's having. Yeah, that sounds like a good idea, I'll just-" He rolls his eyes, digs under the table and tosses her a package. "Figured you'd want to share mine, so..."
They did a whole montage of Nicki's Nicknames, then later on Mariah to Nicki, in a grave, important manner - "She gave you A Nickname."
     The Random Miscellany -
The Coke Chase commercial was good, and the Beggin' Strips commercial. That Samsung ad with the video game company was awful, stay far away from that imaginary company!
Ford didn't have an actual ad this show, because of all the inshow promos, probably.
Why Keith left halfway through the second day: "Well, um...my wife is getting a film award in New York City tonight, and I wanted to be there to hold her hand."
On Summer's audition, I didn't exactly agree with anybody. I liked what Keith said, "You say you 'did the whole country thing', that's like saying 'Yeah, I did the whole brain surgeon thing' - You either are a brain surgeon, or you aren't, same with country music. You can't just try it for a while and then switch!" But they were really grilling her about being country, Nicki made a few good points too. "I feel like we're forcing her here to say something that she maybe doesn't believe, to lie, just to fit our show. You can't just peg her as "Country" and then move on, she has to find out what she is." And then everybody got into a huge fight and she stormed off to her room....but anyway....
It was cool to see Scotty again.
There were 37 golden tickets given out, that brings us to 125 in Hollywood so far.
    And so things just get stranger....

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Why I Am a Storyteller

      This post is adapted from an essay I wrote for Comp I last fall, and it's probably going to be a lot more enthusiastic and much harder to keep track of than the essay was.

     It's a little hard to describe yourself. Our natural tendency to guard against pride blurs the lines between self-esteem and arrogance, creating an ultra-effective system of avoidance based off humility. We tend as a society to downplay our own skills, and use others we know as mirrors to see ourselves. So for that reason, it was a little hard for me to get started on this essay[the prompt was "Choose one word to describe yourself, one experience that changed your life, or something else that I can't remember], but I guess the word I would choose would be "storyteller".

     Why a storyteller? Well, that kind of began with my grandma, a lady named Linda. She worked, among other things, as a librarian at a nearby Arkansas college, and later at the public library in town. She'd occasionally bring me to work with her when I'd come to visit. She introduced me to the wonderful books of Leonard Kessler(His animals are awesome. You can find a homemade retelling of his "Kick, Pass and Run" in the February or March postings from last year), Peggy Parish(Gotta love Amelia Bedelia), Norman Bridwell(Clifford!)  and Matt Christopher(Sports!), and she would always be able to satisfy my childlike curiosity by retelling stories of what life was like when she was growing up. We'd invent tales, too, involving the animals on the farm, we called them Critter Stories.

      My mom was instrumental in developing that love of reading, too, encouraging me to read anything I could get my hands on(within reason, of course). I discovered the historical fiction of Robert Elmer, found a lifelong friend in Mark Twain(love him), and discovered the amazing world of Greek mythology through The Book of Virtues. (That is a FANTASTIC book, by the way. On the back cover, one of the blurbs from a review says that "this book should be given to all parents upon leaving the hospital", I completely agree. Sitting on my shelf right now is the same dog-eared copy that I first dove into when I was seven or eight, and good grief, I'll probably reread and still enjoy it when my kids want to hear a story.)
     [Where was I? Got distracted....the hardest part about writing this essay was to keep it under three doublespaced pages, I barely succeeded. Now that I'm updating it, I'm free to go down rabbit trails and recommend things....by the way, "Rabbit Hill" by Robert McCloskey is a great story, that I first read because Marguerite Henry enjoyed it. And if such a great author as she was would recommend it so highly, well, I just had to see for myself. And most of Robert McCloskey's writings were very good anyways.]
     I memorized "The Story of Ferdinand"(Mom read it to me on request every night over and over and over...I wonder if she got tired of it?) and "The Giving Tree". (Same thing, and I've always thought Shel Silverstein looked like the scariest person on Earth.) It's always been interesting to ponder those stories, wonder exactly what life was like for the tree or Ferdinand, watching as the world went by.
     And the PICTURES! My goodness, all those stories have wonderful illustrations....Robert McCloskey, Shel Silverstein, Leonard Kessler, Charles Schultz, Wesley Dennis, Wallace Tripp, Lynn Sweat, Norman Bridwell....I've always wished I could draw. If I could only have one fiction piece achieve lots of readers, I'd want it to be a children's picture book. Not a mildly interesting one, but a great one, like all these classics I've been mentioning, that captures your imagination and lets it grow, jump into and become a part of that universe, to know the characters like your best friends and hang on to that love throughout your whole life.

     The TV shows I watched probably had a deep influence on me, too; "Wishbone" and "Arthur" were two of my favorite PBS shows, "Reading Rainbow" was good, too. "Recess" and "Doug" on ABC's One Saturday mornings(None of these are on Netflix, by the way....most of the shows I really enjoy aren't. It's annoying.), and seriously, can anything ever top "The Andy Griffith Show"? I think not. Also the WB's "7th Heaven" and Pax's "Doc" and "Early Edition" would go right up there in my favorite-shows-ever list. They all exposed me to character development, multiple story arcs, and the importance of conflct, providing a good base for beginning to tell stories of my own.
     [I didn't discover "MacGyver" until my early teens, but that totally belongs up there. Why don't they make good comedies like "Full House" anymore?  That is a great show!]

      They weren't much, just stories like every little kid makes up at one point or another, but Mom and Mimi both enjoyed them and encouraged me to keep working on them. So over the years I've dabbled in short stories in my spare time, I've put some of them on here.(Horsin' Around and that Christmassy story, for example).

      I discovered Agatha Christie when I was about thirteen, while cleaning stuff out of the old two-story house on the farm, and knew immediately I'd found a master of the craft I hoped to make my own someday. I devoured about half of her eighty-plus works in about eighteen months(after that, the library didn't have any more), and rediscovered Louisa May Alcott's wonderful way of describing life. Interpersonal relationships and good dialogue were some of the main takeaways I got from Lucy Maud Montgomery's "Anne of Green Gables" series, that time period from the Civil War to the 1920's produced a ton of amazing writers. (Louisa May Alcott, Lucy Maud Montgomery, Mark Twain, O. Henry, Agatha Christie, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Zane Grey....)
[Miscellanous books I like that haven't already been mentioned: Victor Hugo's "The Hunchback of Notre Dame", "Where the Red Fern Grows" and "Summer of the Monkeys", both by Wilson Rawls; Fred Gipson's "Old Yeller"; "Upchuck and the Rotten Willy" and "The Backwards Bird Dog", both by Bill Wallace; C.S. Lewis' "Chronicles of Narnia"; J.R.R. Tolkien's "Lord of the Rings"....]

     I got some training on how to write more effectively at fourteen when I began writing sports for local newspapers, learning how to use words to tell a factual, here's-what-happened, the-end news story, and discovered the worlds of modern-day authors William Goldman(The mind behind "The Princess Bride", the book is even better than the movie!), Bodie Thoene(Amazing writer of numerous historical fiction series, read everything from her you can get your hands on), Phillip Gulley(Harmony series, great humorous look at small-town living) and Jan Karon(Mitford series, extremely high recommendation!!!)
     Always enjoyed acting and doing improv comedy, that sense of creativity on the run, but with a tight structure to follow as a guide.
      And I grew up with country music on the kitchen radio, which is all about stories. A handful of basic outlines, but with so many variations in plot and angles of thinking....it's all about how to clearly grab the listener and make them understand the tale, the really wonderful songs make you effortlessly step into their universe, you understand everything that's going on.

     My ideal personality I'm trying to achieve, I guess, would be a mashup of  MacGyver, Peter Parker, Jo March and Atticus Finch: the resoucefulness and smarts of MacGyver, Peter's sense of humor and striving for balance in the crazy world he lives in, Jo's impulsiveness and creativity, and the strong moral values and courage that Atticus displays.
      [I'm not completely sure what I meant by this paragraph....but my teacher was a hippie, and it sounded like the right kind of meaningless meaningful touch. I guess I meant that those are all qualities I admire in each of those characters, but there's so many more I could add to this list.... Oh, good grief! Snoopy, Linus, the way Sydney Carton dies(I hated "A Tale of Two Cities, by the way. No, I hate anything by Dickens), Jay Berry Lee, Charlotte A. Cavatica, so many others....]

     Stories teach us about life. They show us how the world works, set an example of how we should act, which sometimes means showing the other side of that coin, what happens when we fail or disobey. This is why Jesus taught in parables, because we're wired to retain the things we hear through story, and then think about the stories we hear, and learn from them. Great ideas can be passed on, traits of virtue praised in legends. We get our morals and values from the stories we absorb and drink in, which makes the art of storytelling the most effective teaching tool there is. (And also, this is why we need good discernment skills.)

     What my life will be like up ahead, I don't know. Might I ever have a novel published, or maybe some picture books? How will the switch to digital technology impact the journalism and publishing worlds as we know them? And does anyone really care about one more collection of words strung together, honestly, if  I did write something, would anyone read it? I don't know the answers to very many of these questions, or what form my writing may take. But whatever channels it goes into, I will always find stories, and they will always have a market. If not in money, then in time, because little kids will sit and listen for hours and think that I'm one of the most amazing people on the planet, knowing all these things, and taking the time to explain them. They might be inspired to create their own tales, remembering the history or fables I relayed to them, and the chain would just go on from there.

     I am a storyteller.

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Late-Night Ramblings

     These are unrelated random things that I'm posting because I'm not tired yet. (And also the post-Idol commentary, fueled by Diet Coke and Monster.)

     You know it's way too quiet in your dorm when the sound of someone whistling automatically starts your fire-alarm-panic mode.

     It's kind of sad when you've been living in such frigid temperatures that a 37-degree walk can be called "pleasant".

     Floor meetings are awkward.

     How did I end up in a place where the dominant attitude towards sports is "We have a (fill-in-the-blank) team?"

     This is a great article about a ridiculous story: the whole Manti-Te'o-fake-girlfriend thing. Here's my opinion: WHO CARES? Just proof that there is basically nothing newsworthy happening in sports right now.   http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/8854036/malcolm-gladwell-chuck-klosterman-manti-teo
     (Also, while we're at it, I'll just say this about Lance Armstrong: Of course he cheated, being that he was a cyclist, where that is even more of a tradition than in baseball, it's fine; and he lied for years and years about it. That part is bad. Now stop talking about it.)http://espn.go.com/espn/story/_/id/8852974/lance-armstrong-history-lying Rick Reilly is a fantastic writer, this is a wonderful piece.

     This gun-control thing doesn't sound good.

     "I do not have much to say. If you vote for me, all your wildest dreams will come true."
    

AI-12 Auditions, Chicago

     Tonight's episode was shot in Chicago, it was interesting.

    
     Hmm. What to say....
     The Contestants -
MacKenzie the first girl was good.
Kiara the hair girl...eh, not my thing.
Stephanie was no good.
Melissa in the pink disco outfit is Deb. Seriously. And as for her singing...yuck!
Gabe the baker was good, I kinda liked that growly/scream thing. Seems a little like Chris Sligh.
Kevin the ninja is Napoleon Dynamite. For real. The wacky subtitles were hysterical.
Griffin was okay, Nicki flirting with him - did anybody else find that really awkward?
Isabel the Little House person, I liked her, her family was awesome, a duet with Keith Urban, that'll be something she can brag about for forever. Interesting change of pace with a Christmas song. She looks like she could be related to Crystal Bowersox.
Curtis was all right.
Mariah the anorexic's backstory was a little too emotional, and her voice was too flat. Seemed like maybe a nice person, though.
Brandy the adoptee was memorable, the "Making Memories of Us" voiceover was great. I liked her personality, but I didn't buy the song's story, and her voice is too powerful. But she might be one to watch.
Josh the black jacket guy was average.
Courtney was okay, I guess, but not my kind of music.
Andrew in the red shirt was pretty good.
Clifton the Secret Squirrel(where did she get that?) was all right.
Ieisha the dancer....oh gosh.
Johnny Keyser was still good, but he still looks weird.
Kezban was creepy. And how was the guitar standing straight up? Good picker, it was all right.
Ashley the black girl...that was, ah, bouncy. And, um...hmm.
Lazaro who went last was a lot better than I expected.
They gave out 47 golden tickets, so we're at 88 invited to Hollywood so far.

     The Judges -
     Dysfunctional family? Yeah, I can see that. Mariah's the demanding overbearing mother, Randy the clueless dad, Keith the cool big brother, the "normal" one, and Nicki the rebellious teenager. Ryan's the friend of Keith's who always hangs out so often that he knows their house better than his own. (Really, if you think about the roles, don't they fit? Especially Nicki's? Oh, wait....that's cause she was the rebellious teenage...mammoth...in that last Ice Age movie...)
     Mariah has a really weird clap, even for this show. What is it with Nicki's hats? First the drum major yesterday, and now the (leopard-print) sailor cap? And that second wig I instantly thought of Ramen noodles.

     The Quotes -
Keith, pointing at Nicki's cup: "She's drinking catnip." (I'm saving this one to use later...)
Keith, in the middle of an endless mother-daughter fight: "I swear, I feel like a scratching post!" (This too.)
Gabe the Baker, on how long he's been singing: "Well...I've been making noises since I was a baby..." (Another great line.) 
Randy, after Kevin's rap: "Sold! Really, though, I was just at an auction, and Kevin just tried to sell me an old motorcycle I didn't want." ("Gasps" Randy said something interesting and relevant!)
Brandy's Mom: "Someone's gotta be cheesy for the camera!" (True.)
Randy, during the never-ending loop of that line about the sky in Ashley's song: "The sky is broken!" (NO....really????!!!!)
Nicki, after Ashley was finished: "If you had the right vocal cords, you could really do something with your voice." (Wow. That was a Simon-quality zinger right there. And maybe even better than what he could have came up with...)
Nicki: "I would never rap in front of my mother." (I should hope not! Your mother would be scandalized.)
Nicki, on some guy: "Double-triple-quadruple-quintuple-sextuple yes!" (Just if anybody's wondering, that's 720% affirmative. Take that for loopy statistical yesses, Paula.)

     The Random Miscellanous Stuff That Doesn't Fit Anywhere Else -
     I'm really enjoying the accents. And the catfights are funny.
     I didn't get the "Good Girl" voiceover on MacKenzie at all...it doesn't make sense lyrically to pair with the video in that setting. "Good Time" is a great voiceover for, well, most anything, really; including auditions, and I liked that Owl City's "On the Wing" was voiceover music, too, though again, doesn't make sense when you try to match lyrics with video, but it was atmospheric.
     Makeup/hair commercials were their typical strange selves, I mean, how is comparing your product to a tree's roots attractive to potential customers? The new Aflac commercial is good, mentioning without seeing the duck. That Sprint iPhone commercial was awesome, the Scrubbing Bubbles ad was great. The side effects of that drug Abilify...dang....wouldn't it be less hazardous(and quite a bit healthier) just to suffer unmedicated from depression? None of the movies shown were anywhere close to interesting-looking, and there was way too many tasty food commercials shown for a very hungry college student!!!

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

First Take on American Idol's Season 12...

I GET TO WATCH(AND WRITE ABOUT) IDOL AGAIN....[Happy Wesley]

     Okay, here we go:
     It's Season 12 of American Idol, previous winners(in order) are Kelly Clarkson(1), Ruben Studdard(2), Fantasia Barrino(3), Carrie Underwood(4), Taylor Hicks(5), Jordin Sparks(6), David Cook(7), Kris Allen(8), Lee DeWyze(9), Scotty McCreery(10), and Phillip Phillips(11).
     The host of the show is Ryan Seacrest, the current judges this season are Randy Jackson, Mariah Carey, Nicki Minaj and Keith Urban, replacing last year's panel of Randy, Steven Tyler and Jennifer Lopez. (Thank goodness.)
     Cattle-calls were held during the summer around June or July, then judged auditions were in October, with Hollywood in mid-December, it'll go live once we get to the voting rounds, that should be early to mid-March.
     And, just to clarify, I'm only writing this because I enjoy it and people like the recaps, in no way is this official or anything.
     These auditions were in New York City.
    
     The first half of the opening was cool(the part with Phillip), the second half(introduction of judges) was like one of those algebra problems with two answers, and you find which one was right and which was extraneous....that section was unnecessarily long. The third part(the history of the show) was too sappy. I liked how they all stole Ryan's opening line, that was a cool touch, but I hope it was just a one-time deal.
    
     The Contestants - Michael the improv guy who went first was one of those just in it for his forty-five seconds of fame, though I liked his rearrangement of "We Will Rock You."
The Korean guy was bad.
Evan the amputee wasn't great, but he was all right, they should've let him through.
Frankie the train singer was likable, wished they would've let him in, too.
That guy in the red plastic suit, Ben? was....oh boy. That was awful.
I liked Jersey Girl Miley-Wannabe Blueberry Farmer Sarah better than I expected...not sure if I would have let her through, though.
Albert the receptionist....what is it with the Asian people who can't sing???!!!!
Very cruel editing on the trivia dude.
The Turbinator was okay vocally, but he sort of stands out personality-wise, glad he was let through. Not get-to-voting-rounds through, but for-audition-let-him-in kind of thing.
Didn't know what to think about Ashlee, that last girl who went, with the huge family. Is she half black and half white?
Too many high-pitched voices, that was painful to listen to some of them.
    
     The Judges - Randy is somehow even blander and more irrelevant than ever.
Mariah is a diva, "I'm the queen of the world, you all better do as I say." It's annoying. And she seems rude.
Nicki's wigs are ridiculous. And, like, she's a rapper. And constantly fluttering her enormous fake eyelashes is irritating. She has that Steven Tyler thing going on, only with a larger element of zany and less of the delusional factor. But somebody did need to tell Mariah she wasn't the boss all the time...
Keith was great. He's really doing his job, looking for talent. Real talent, not what some contestants in previous years were(Lauren and others, etc.) He's down-to-earth, and absolutely hilarious. And I have no idea how he could possibly have been able to concentrate with all that going on.
    
     The Quotes - Keith, right after the improv guy sails in with his whole deal: "You really need to come out of your shell, man."
Nicki, in the middle of the discussion with the Korean kid that Randy and Mariah were having on dreams of what you're going to do in life: "I wanted to drive a bus one time..." (Randy stares at her confused) 
Keith, during the awkwardness that was Plastic Man's audition: (Hiding under the table) "It isn't safe."
Sarah the Farmer Girl: "None of my family is really musical at all... My grandma told me that I have, like, a great-aunt who's an opera singer or something. I never heard of her."
    
     The Random Miscellanous Stuff That Doesn't Fit Any Other Category - AT&T and Ford really need some new commercials, those were lame.
The Coke Security Camera was really good, and I really like the slogan in that Diet Coke ad with the fashion designer lady, "Another word for ambition is thirst", but I've always wondered...is that yellow thing supposed to be a dress? Cause you can see the mannequin's butt....
Those Minute Maid commercials with the guy arguing with the oranges are usually irritating, but this new one was sort of clever.
None of the makeup commercials were outlandishly laughable and stupid, that was a little disappointing.
And the bearded guy in the UPS commercial is the guy who says "Seriously?" and totally makes that one H&R Block commercial work.
Idol will NOT be bland this season, if this was any idicator...

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Blog Post No. 100

     It's a new year: 2013. Which means that this blog is nearly a year old, Friday the 13ths will be especially dangerous, and a new semester has begun.

     So, anyways, not much has changed since the last time I was in Tahlequah three weeks ago. The bakery still is great, the caf not-very-good, rain is still a bad thing, Ross Hall being itself, and...yeah.

     Classes started yesterday(Wednesday), and so did my erratic sleep schedule....sigh. (TVs and slamming doors again.) I slept from about 11:45 to 2:00. Yes, you read that right. 2:00 a.m. So I tried to go back to sleep for a bit, then gave up, because I was too awake. So I reviewed my schedule, then got a Snickers at 5 a.m., where the Coke machine ate my dollar. I then went back to my dorm and watched SportsCenter and CMT with the sound on mute. Got to Seminary about two hours early, so studied for a while, then it was time for my first class, and it was (finally) time to get to work.
     I think I'll like Basic Writing. Counting me, there's seventeen people, and I recognize seven already. I'd met the teacher before, she'll expect a lot out of us, which is great, because it makes us better writers.
     Computers...that's a different story. I am not very tech-savvy at all, so it'll be an "informative" experience. (The teacher, who is also teaching my math class, apparently likes the word "informative". He reminds me of some character from a 70's cop/detective show, the guy who works in the police department.) I'm kind of scared. But, we'll see how it goes.
     Feeling kind of ill(more so than the usual "slightly ill" due to the constant temperature changes), I tried to take a nap. (See? Told you I didn't feel good.) It didn't go so well. Any time I got to sleep, I was being chased or shot at or something, and then I'd fall down some stairs or the ground would drop out from under me, or there'd be a slippery something....very rattling.
     I go to Morgan's for a Tiger Cookie and a gingerbread man, then get to sleep super early.

     I always check my watch first thing whenever I wake up. Thursday it read 10:15. I cannot remember EVER sleeping that late. It wasn't a good way to start the day. By 10:32, I'm in the science building, waiting for my 11 a.m. math class to start. The science building is completely on the other end of campus from my dorm, and it was raining. Also I didn't eat breakfast. But I think I'll be able to hang in there, if I just attack it like I did the SAT.
     Although I guess if you must sleep incredibly late, it's better to be in an interesting dream while doing so... Usually my dreams are very cinematic in quality, just like watching a movie. Not only am I watching the film, but I also have a role in it. This time it was near the end of the film, my character(I never learned his name) and his sister Elizabeth stumble into the bad guys' secret lair or hidden mine or whatever. Except it was in a deserted alleyway. Anyway, we're trying to figure out what to do, when the bad guy, a large balding very angry man, finds out we found this spot out, so he tries to kill us, by bashing us over the head with a large heavy snow globe-type object. I somehow wrestle it away from him, and then this older lady, who we're kind of scared of, she seems mean, barges in and in so doing, distracts us all. Turns out she's a very nice lady, famous, but misunderstood, so she just seemed to be mean and unpleasant. Well, while we're all distracted, the man throws a kitchen knife at us(it's one of those freakishly long and sharp ones), it's hurtling at me, and the lady deflects it with her umbrella. The knife falls to the ground off to our left, the man is charging towards us, everything is in confusion - and that's when I wake up. Pretty good dream, actually; this one had a plot, which most of the dreams I've had over the last month haven't, they've just been isolated action scenes.
     In the afternoon I had Comp II, which will be spectacular, unlike the Comp I disaster. Expectations are clearly spelled out, I love the format, I know what the teacher wants to read, it'll be fun. Hard at times, but fun. The teacher is very friendly and easy to talk with, seems a lot like Daniel. So then I was feeling so good about that, I decided to walk down to the track for a run, where I went a mile in 9:13.45. Thought that was all right for not ever running a mile all at once before, and I have a couple months or so before running a 5K, have to start somewhere, right? Actually, when you count the walk there and back, that comes to about three miles in 43 minutes.
     We have a fire drill.....I. Hate. Those. Nearly bowled over my RA getting outside, only to be told to use the fire escape, so back I flew and sailed down the rickety see-through grating on the stairs...I don't like fire escapes, either.
    
     Locked myself out of my room twice by mistake...so embarrassing. And I didn't even have a good excuse either time, I was just so tired I wasn't thinking.
     I really need a new hobby...walking long distances in rainy cold weather sounds lame.
     Ate at Chick-Fil-A three times this week, staying on average so far.
     I didn't have anything else to do(at all) for the first two days while waiting for school to start, so I read halfway through one of my textbooks. I get this email from Jessica Tuesday night: "You should be resting, not reading entire textbooks!" "I have been resting..." "Uh-huh...I'll believe that when it rains cherry tomatoes."
     American Idol's Season 12 starts Wednesday night at 7 p.m, not sure at all what to expect, but it should hopefully be an interesting ride. And of course that means the Wichita Gang discussion group.

     There was free hot chocolate being given out Friday morning, that was cool. And I still had no idea what was going on most of the time in Computers, but I don't think anyone else really did, either, so I guess that's good. After that, just packed up my laundry and watched some hockey on TV while waiting on my ride back home. After a long week of cold and rain, sunny pleasant temps were awesome.

     So, things are pretty much normal around here...first week of this semester is over with. Now about sixteen weeks left...