Sunday, August 24, 2014

Aftermath

     I know it's August, so don't judge me. But I'm listening to Alan Jackson's Let It Be Christmas CD right now. (I also have an entire Pandora channel for Christmas music.) But August is almost over; so seems like the right time to listen to Christmas music if you want to. And it's calming. And it's been a really, really long week. And a hard one, too. So I could use some calm-ness.

     College is in full swing everywhere, pretty much, now - and all the routine and mundane routines and hassles that entails. Facebook and Twitter are full of "Oh, help..." posts. Biology is not going to be my favorite class ever. It's tiring and frustrating and there's no scope for imagination in it. And that lack-of-imaginative-qualities is a real problem.
      I'll try to sum this up quickly as best I can, but for a better argument, read Martin Cothran's  article The Rhetoric of Amazement, or, even better, read G.K. Chesterton's Orthodoxy; specifically the fourth chapter, "The Ethics of Elfland". He speaks much against the "learned men of science in their spectacles" who say "'Cut the stalk, and the apple will fall", but he says it calmly, as if the one idea really led up to the other. The witch in the fairy tale says, "Blow the horn, and the ogre's castle shall fall", but she does not say it as if it were something in which the effect rose out of the cause...She does not muddle her head until it imagines a necessary mental connection between a horn and a falling tower. But the scientific men do muddle their heads, until they imagine a necessary mental connection between the apple leaving a tree and an apple reaching the ground. They really do talk as if they had not only found a set of marvelous facts, but a truth connecting those facts. They do talk as if the connection of two strange things physically connected them philosophically. They feel that because one incomprehensible thing constantly follows another incomprehensible thing the two together somehow make up a comprehensible thing. Two black riddles make a white answer."
     But on the first quiz I scored 32 out of 36, so that's a good start.
      There's another good passage I came across reading it over again the other day, in chapter six, I think: "It is very hard for a man to defend anything of which he is entirely convinced. It is comparatively easier when he is only partially convinced. He is partially convinced because he has found this proof or that proof of the thing, and he can expound it. But a man is not really convinced of a philosophic theory when he finds that something proves it. He is only really convinced when he finds that everything proves it. And the more converging reasons he finds pointing towards this conviction, the more bewildered he is when he is asked to sum them up."
     That's why I have so much trouble expressing what, exactly, felt so off-kilter when it came to NSU. (And not an artistic, nice-looking off-center, either.) And also, in a much more pleasant vein, why it's difficult to sum up exactly what and why I love SGYC so much.

     Church was very good today, Sunday School in 1 John 2 and another sermon from the first chapter of 2 Corinthians, verses 12-22. (Last week's sermon can be found here, look for "Dennis Gundersen, 2 Cor. 1:8-11".) It's hard to know what to say to people, though, when they ask how I'm doing. But I'm making it, I guess. Prayers are very valuable things.

     Finished reading Jan Karon's Light From Heaven again this afternoon, which was nice. Her new book is coming out next Tuesday, it's called Somewhere Safe with Somebody Good. (Very nice title. Sounds like a perfect description of Father Tim's life in Mitford with Cynthia.) Hope it'll be good.
     I can't find where I put my Bible, which is mildly irritating. I know I packed it somewhere when moving my stuff out, but I just haven't found where I set it yet.
     And the Okmulgee library book sale is coming up soon, on the 18th. Mom's really looking forward to that. I am, too. And that's also the weekend of GBC's annual mission conference, which Courtney is pretty excited about. And then the 23rd is the season two premiere of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

     Spent a lot of time on the phone this week, it seems like. Besides annoying hassle-ey financial aid stuff to deal with, I called Ash last Saturday afternoon and we talked for about an hour and a half, and then I called Jon Wednesday night and we talked for an hour. Good to catch up with them.

     Felt kind of sick this morning and the last couple days, which fits perfectly with the new semester and everything else. Pandora is useful. If there were an instrumental piece of music that captured what a semester felt like, this would probably be close. (Jed played this one year during the talent share.) And this would also work.
     It's been an unbelievably slow week as far as assignments and stuff go, yet somewhat productive. My guess is that this week will pick up a little faster.

Monday, August 18, 2014

An Announcement

     Maybe I shouldn't have been following Stranger for the last two years....I just did kind of an Eli McCann-like thing and have no idea how it happened or what I think about it. Also no idea on what this will do to the future or anything.

     I moved back home and am taking classes online through TCC for this semester.

     It was all kind of sudden, and I'm kind of a mess of emotions right now. (Also, I seriously haven't gotten much sleep over the last week, but yeah...) Throughout the weekend I enlisted the prayers of Daniel, Ash, Jon, Elizabeth and Susan(Race of Joseph all) and delivered updates when I could. And at church told Steven and Jamie and Mrs. Rusco. Mr. Gundersen was preaching from 2 Corinthians 1:8-11, which was wonderful and so much-needed. Very grateful for their prayers and advice/encouragement. Called Bob last night and he told most of the BCM crew.

     Over and over since I first came to NSU it's just not really quite fit and I've wanted to leave so bad. (Most of these school-related posts over the last two years have been the S. Morgenstern "good parts" version.) But I wanted to stick it out for my freshman year because I'd've felt like I was letting GBC folks down if I hadn't, and besides, I would've been extremely mad at myself for....well, who ever knows why they're mad at themselves for? Anyway, due to Samantha's gentle pestering and knowing a handful of other BCMers, I slipped inside one Monday night in February 2013 and in so doing, found another important place, like GBC or SGYC, with folks just as familiar. And gradually getting involved with SWAT, the worship team, and everything else...the lone bright spot in a very dark place. And maybe because of that, the light shows up much greater. They were why I hung around sophomore year, a subject we'd covered during Impact or Velocity or coffee runs. It was hard to say goodbye this morning.
     I won't miss the school much, though. Nor the dorm. The best classes have been Prof. Semrow's Lit class or Dr. Faulds' Latin classes; and I really enjoyed(and learned a lot) in Dr. Fuller's psych class, Cassie's Basic Writing and Dr. Eversole's Editing. The worst would be nutrition and Mr. Deiter's Comp I. (Though it was a good class to meet folks in, and certainly memorable....)
     I'll miss Tahlequah. It's a good place, with good people. Neat local businesses abound, and there's great scenery. And I'll miss being near Grandpa and Robbie, and Louise and Harry. And the Galdamezes. I'll probably visit when I can.

     So we moved my stuff out last night, then filled out the withdrawal forms this morning. It went smoother than I expected; but then I'm used to how stuff works out there. Dad isn't as much. Ran by the BCM to see if anybody was around, said goodbye to Ashleigh, Daniel P. and Deb. Then in Ross ran into Elizabeth and then Susan, said goodbye to them, too.

     It's been an eventful two years. There's lots of stories to tell, which can be found by going through older posts. Gotten stronger as a person, spiritually and mentally. Felt weaker than I thought possible often.
     My personality seems to have changed a lot(but that's hard to judge on yourself). More cynical and serious; more spacey and living more firmly in Chesterton's Fairyland.

     So I don't really know what's next. Right now I'm taking a biology course and the other courses coming up are on Word, government and Photoshop. In spring and past that - no idea. But we'll see what happens.

     This picture is of a freshly-chopped stump I found hiking around campus Tuesday night.

Thursday, August 14, 2014

FIRE (Is a Very Bad Thing)

     This semester seems to be starting on a historic low. Got somewhere between three and four hours' sleep last night, going to sleep sometime after midnight, waking up at 2:30 and then falling asleep again about half an hour later, unrestfully(see previous post) sleeping again before getting woken up for good about five to a truly horrendous sound: FIRE ALARMS. They weren't in Ross, but they were never-ending and sickening. You know when it's a drill and when things are real, once you go through something like that. And this was all too real. According to the Daily Press, the Pleasant View Apartments(near campus) had sixteen apartments burned after a car caught fire. Nobody was injured, so that's a blessing, but....it's so awful.

     In other news, my roommate showed up about three yesterday afternoon. We'll see how this goes...

     I skipped the BCM's Jam Session kickoff last night for the CCF volleyball deal, because, well, it was volleyball. And so your muscles just go; you don't have to think about stuff. With the Fit (still) under construction, the volleyball courts are kind of a junkyard, so it was a rather unforgiving playing surface. And being a small-sized person, I became the designated chaser whenever the ball went over the fence(I could slide under Sunny-like) or down into the runoff ditch. Not knowing the tendencies of the folks on your side, and having to keep your mind more on where your feet are stepping than attacking the ball, it wasn't the most-well-played matches ever. Was it an enjoyable time? Not especially, but it was something to do. And besides, you didn't really have to talk to people that much, which was nice. (I used up whatever talking-to-people energy I had long before)
     I left that early when there were just way too many people around, and skipped the BCM's pancake feed, too. I was just too tired to walk over there and act happy. I was so tired, even, that I immediately crawled into bed and tried to go to sleep, not even turning on the TV to see Taylor Swift on Jimmy Fallon.

     How will I get through this semester?

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Year Three Begins

     This post is brought to you from an all-too-familiar place: My dorm in Ross, in an agitated state of mind. (With an extensive Owl City soundtrack playing while typing.) Things look pretty much the same so far. And wasn't I just here?

     Haven't slept that well; having a hard time falling asleep and then sticking there once I arrive. And there's this enormous montage of situations where something's about to happen, like an event to go to or a present somebody's going to give me, and then at the last second it melts away. It's strange and unrestful. And to continue for two nights straight, and a half-nap? 
     Covered about ten miles of aimlessly hiking around town since Sunday afternoon, I'd guess, on the low end. Doesn't exactly help with thinking so much, and doesn't exactly keep me from thinking, either; but it's something. Supposed to have a roommate this semester; which I didn't know about until I saw the sign on the door when I got here Sunday afternoon(but then, it is NSU, so....) He hasn't shown up yet, so that's nice, I guess. Just the uncertainty of wondering if I will actually or won't actually has me a little more on edge than normal.

     Got my book(singular this time) and mapped out class routes yesterday, and then did quite a bit of staring at the walls and ceiling, which has been continued today. Tried to write some, but it was sort of like that day when someone asked Voltaire how he'd done that day. Voltaire says frustratedly, "Not that well. I only managed to get down eight words." His friend winces. "Eight words? That's....that's not the greatest day ever, no." (pause) "But, you know, that's eight words that you didn't have yesterday, so that's some progress."  "But that's not the worst part!" "...It isn't?" "No! The worst part is that I can't figure out what order they're supposed to go in!" (I wish I could remember where I read this tidbit of conversation, which I had to largely paraphrase/modernize due to not remembering the exact wording.) 

     This afternoon I studied some, read a bit of To Kill a Mockingbird. Heard from both Daniel and Ash, which were both very good things. 
     Went over to the BCM to see if anybody was around, hung out for a bit with Ashleigh, Bucky, Daniel P, Elizabeth, Justin, Stephen and Michelle; we split a pizza. 
     Practiced photography for a bit while campus was empty during dinnertime, don't think I got anything that great.

     Robin Williams died last night, I saw being talking about on TV, and then later all over Facebook and Twitter. Took me a moment to compute why this was important, who Robin Williams was and then my next thought was "Well, yeah, I guess that's about right; he's human, and everybody dies sometime." After watching a bit longer, they said it looked to be a suicide, which is a terrible way to die, but one that didn't seem all that surprising, either.
     I guess the worst part about it would be the lack of hope. That's why I don't like those dystopian novels like Hunger Games, Divergent, etc. - they're so empty of hope and if there's not even a chance that the sun's gonna shine tomorrow, well, what's the point of reading further? Mr. Gundersen's been preaching over 2 Corinthians recently, which is all about how this life is a struggle, yes. But that struggle means that we experience just a minute fraction of what Christ went through on the cross. And it may be bad at times, and we may grow weary, but God gives us comfort and allows us to comfort others on the way. And when we die, we as Christians have heaven to look forward to because of our Savior.

     So, yeah. Nothing much of news to tell about. 

Monday, August 11, 2014

Adventure is Out There

     Carl and Ellie Fredrickson would always enthusiastically repeat their hero Charles Muntz's catchphrase: "Adventure is out there!"
     G.K. Chesterton wrote once that "an inconvenience is merely an adventure wrongly considered, and an adventure is only an inconvenience rightly considered." Which, when you stop and puzzle over this statement, seems true, and a good attitude to have towards life in general besides.
     And Louis L'Amour's take on the concept in his autobiography: "Adventure is just a romantic name for trouble." While pessimistic, this sounds pretty accurate, too.

     Living, in itself, usually creates or means dealing with other people's trouble. It's just kind of part of the deal. And sometimes that can be frustrating, worrisome, painful, or just otherwise unpleasant. As Frodo told Gandalf in The Fellowship of the Ring, "I wish it did not have to happen in my time." The wise old wizard replies, "So do I, and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time given us." And in The Two Towers, Tolkien continues, "the world indeed is full of peril, and in it there are many dark places; but still there is much that is fair, and though in all lands now love is mingled with grief, it grows perhaps the greater."

     Who knows what college will bring this year? (Wait - I do! "Raises hand". It'll be full of STRESS, lots of hurrying form one place to the next, many tiresome nights and long days, waiting impatiently for things, and monotonous food. And I'll hate it.) Yes, that is true. But it will also probably bring small unexpected sparks of encouragement from strange sources, as well as a for-enjoyment story here or there to savor and cherish and learn from.

     Two years ago, I wrote the following paragraph, in a post The Golden Road; "Right now, I'm kind of scared. But it's time to go, like it or not. Life's an adventure, and it's always best when taken day-by-day, though quite a bit more stressful and tiring. Life's also a dance, as the song says, and you learn it as you go. That's good to know. So as I wind down this last blog post(for a while) typed on the computer in the office at home, where I wrote down many articles over the weeks chasing news stories and had a lot of conversations with friends, I know my future is in God's hands, and He'll work everything out just the way it's supposed to. That doesn't really keep me from being nervous or anxious about the journey, but it provides some comfort as I doublecheck to make sure I've packed everything."
     That still pretty much fits.

     It just seems like I'm slowly getting more open to adventures. (But college doesn't count. At all.)

Friday, August 8, 2014

Guardians of the Galaxy

     As Coulson told Skye(rather angrily, but that's not important here) when the team went to the Hub on Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., "We can go off-book because there IS a book." Which is basically what Marvel did in introducing us to the Guardians of the Galaxy. Mom, Courtney and I went to Tulsa Wednesday night to go see it.
     There was an interesting take on the movie in this PluggedIn blog post I read last week.
     It's a little bit of Marvel, dash of The A-Team, a touch each of Firefly and The Princess Bride, with a whole bunch of Star Wars, some Star Trek and quite a bit of its own creature. And it's hilarious. Also rather profane and almost all the main characters are jerks(but that's a necessary plot point and it's totally worth it). And there's a ton of pop-culture references thrown in there randomly, which is awesome.

     A boy named Peter Quill is listening to his Walkman in a hospital hallway in 1988, where his mother is dying of cancer. Before she dies, the woman gives Peter a present that she tells him to open when she's gone, which is stuffed into his backpack. Wild with grief and anger, Peter sprints outside and collapses to the dewy grass exhausted. That's when he's kidnapped by a band of space pirates called the Ravagers. (Yes, this is truly the first scene.)
     Twenty-six years later on the abandoned planet Morag, Quill, now calling himself "Star-Lord", plays with some T. rex-kangaroo rats and jams out to his Walkman before swiping this orb. That's when he's intercepted by Korath(the Dark Elf from The Dark World!) and several Chitauri(from The Avengers, that One-Shot "Item 47" and an episode of Agents). There's a great snarky line here: "Who are you?" "Star-Lord." (Korath looks confused.) "...Who?" "Star-Lord, man! Y'know, the legendary outlaw?" (Korath shakes his head.) Quill escapes from Korath in his ship, the Milano, and runs out on Yondu the Ravager chief, having a buyer for himself on the planet Xandar.
     Now with a bounty on his head, and someone named Ronan involved, Quill's buyer backs out. An assassin named Gamora swipes the orb away from him, and while they fighting/chasing each other, the bounty hunters  Rocket Raccoon and Groot the tree-thing are chasing Quill. A spectacularly-filmed scene follows, ending with all four getting arrested by the Nova Corps(the planet's police force/military) and taken to the Kyln, a high-security prison.
     Almost all the inmates of this prison want to kill Gamora, since her adopted father is Thanos(Bin-Laden in space, kinda), including a revenge-minded massive warrior named Drax. Drax tries to murder Gamora, but a quick-talking Quill saves her, pointing out that Drax needs her alive in order to kill Ronan(who murdered Drax's family). Gamora betrayed Ronan because he is working with Thanos and planning to destroy entire planets if he possesses it.
     Quote break: Quill, trying to convince Drax to spare Gamora, ends his plea with a slashing-throat gesture. Drax - "Why would I put my finger on his throat?" Also, a little later on: Rocket - "...his people are super literal, metaphors go over his head." Drax - "Nothing goes over my head. My reflexes are too fast, I would catch it."
     The three of them, with Rocket and Groot, plan(improvise) and execute an escape, reclaiming the orb on their way out to meet with Gamora's contact, The Collector, on the mining station Knowhere. The Collector opens the orb, which everyone knows is valuable without knowing exactly why(a Maltese Falcon, in a way) and explains that it contains an Infinity Stone, and then explaining why that's so important. (Basically, if you have all six and set them into a glove called the Infinity Gauntlet, then you earn power above all imagination and become unstoppable. The Tesseract and the Aether are two of the other five.) Meanwhile, a drunk Drax summons Ronan to finally kill him. They pummel each other. The Collector's assistant is sick of being his slave, so she blows up his collection with the Inifnity Stone, committing suicide in the process. The group kind of runs every-being-for-itself out of there. Quill and Gamora are chased by her adopted sister Nebula(also working for Ronan), who blows up Gamora's ship and leaves her to freeze in space's vacuum. Ronan almost succeeds in murdering Drax, but Groot pulls him from drowning, and Rocket meets up with them. Quill saves Gamora's life and they're rescued by Yondu and the Ravagers. (Love the way Quill brags on himself excitedly right there. "I found something inside of me, something incredibly heroic!") Ronan gets away with the orb in his ship The Dark Aster. Rocket, Groot and Drax think that Yondu kidnapped Quill and Gamora, so they set out impulsively to rescue them(without thinking it through much). ("You tried to save us by THREATENING TO BLOW US UP?!" "Well.....yeah. It worked, didn't it?" "Yeah! But...how would that even have worked?!")
     Quill gives a rousing inspirational speech, and then the five of them argue for a while about what to do next, finally settling on re-reclaiming the orb from Ronan's clutches, since he's on his way to destroy Xandar. This also kind of means certain death, but if they succeed he won't be able to destroy the galaxy. So, that's a plus. (Rocket - "Why would you want to save the galaxy?" Quill - "Because I'm one of the idiots who lives in it!" And during the council scene: Quill - "I have a plan." Rocket argues with everyone that that is a phrase of his own creation. Quill - "I have part of a plan." Drax - "What percentage of a plan do you have?" Pause for more argument. Rocket - "So, what percentage?" Quill - "I don't know....Twelve percent?" More argument over whether that's a plan. Gamora - "That's barely a concept." Groot - "I am Groot." Rocket - "So what, 'it's better than eleven percent'?" Quill to Groot - "Thank you." It's a great scene.) They get Yondu to agree to this plan by saying they'll give him the orb once Ronan is defeated.
     A massive space-battle begins once inside Xandar's orbit, where the ragtag group of allies breaches The Dark Aster, Yondu wipes out a bunch of Chitauri on the ground with his whistle-arrow, the Nova Corps' ships create this incredibly-awesome force field, and the Ravagers defend from ground-level while the city is being evacuated. Drax kills Korath("Finger on throat means "death". Metaphor." Quill - "Eh....close enough.")
     The energy wall is eventually breached and The Dark Aster looms down and crashes into the city. Rocket also wrecks Quill's ship somewhere in there. It seems like everyone will die in the wreck, but Groot perishes protecting his friends. And Quill does (yet another) extraordinary thing: He starts dancing. Ronan - "What are you doing?" "I challenge you do a dance-off." "What are you doing?" "I'm distracting you!" And then Rocket and Drax pile into Ronan with the MacGyvered laser cannon. It's wonderful. The remaining Guardians of the Galaxy together destroy Ronan and Nebula escapes, while the grateful Nova Corps expunges their criminal records and rebuilds the Milano. The Nova Corps is given the orb while Yondu is given a trick replica. An officer named Rhomann Dey, in explaining all this as they leave, reminds them not to do anything else illegal. Drax - "Supposing someone angered me and I wished to remove his spine?" Dey - "Yeah...That, um - That would be called murder, and that is one of the worst - Yeah. Please don't do that." Quill promises to keep an eye on things.
     The Guardians of the Galaxy, with a sapling grafted from Groot, set out on their next adventure. Gamora - "What happens next?" Star-Lord - "Who knows? Something good? Something bad? A little of both?" "We'll follow your lead, Star-Lord." "All right, then. A little of both!"
     He then finally opens the present his mother gave him as she was dying; a second cassette mixtape, and pops it in his stereo.  

     Quill's constant pop-culture references are awesome. He named his ship after his childhood celebrity crush, Who's The Boss? star Alyssa Milano, he says the Infinity Stone has a real Maltese Falcon, Ark of the Covenant-like vibe, his reference to an Earth-legend called Footloose(which leads to Gamora shouting excitedly while doing something heroic, "We're just like Kevin Bacon!"), how Earth is home to many legendary outlaws like Billy the Kid, Jesse James and John Stamos(who he'd know as Jesse from Full House),  calling a Chitauri "Ninja Turtle", Rocket "Ranger Rick" at one point and Groot "The Giving Tree" (he meant it sarcastic, but that's actually a really great description of Groot's character).
     Groot is simple, yes. But also unselfish and serving, almost parental at times. And they need somebody like that. Rocket's the most brashly money-hungry and me-against-the-world. But he was experimented on and is now half-machine. So his anger and misery is totally understandable. And his biting commentary throughout is terrific. Gamora did some terrible, awful, horrendous things, yes. But that was in the past, and she's learning how to atone for those errors somewhat by the end. Drax is motivated solely by his desire to avenge his family's murders(like a Fezzik-sized Inigo), but comes to realize there's more out there in the galaxy to live for than just vengeance. And Quill is this kind of wisecracking minor scoundrel just trying to survive(those make the best characters) who comes to find himself the leader of this outfit, and therefore charged with keeping things in some semblance of control.
     Together, the Guardians of the Galaxy are a group of freewheeling by-necessity loners that don't really care what the rest of the galaxy thinks of them, who come to form a sort of family. Every family has their issues, and they're no exception. But like that PluggedIn post said, in a way they remind us of what our jobs as Christians in the church ought to look like. Paul talks in that different roles passage in 1 Corinthians 12 about our jobs and abilities might not all be the same, but they're all just as important and ought to be honored the same, since together they add up to a much greater purpose. "The church," says the article, "can be a little messy. It's made of less-than-perfect folks. But when its' people are united in a common cause, the result can be both beautiful and powerful." Aunt May, in Spider-Man 2, says she believes there's a hero inside all of us. And in Spider-Man 3, Peter Parker reminds us that "It's our choices that make us who we are, and we can always choose to do what's right."
     The Guardians aren't the greatest role models ever, but they'll just do their own thing in their own klutzy way, and that sure is entertaining. The "something bad, something good" quote seems to sum up Marvel's attitude in making this thing, echoing Stan Lee's mindset behind creating the Fantastic Four. "We're making something that we enjoy and would want to see. If it flops, doesn't matter for the company. If it works, there's a whole new area that we can play with." It's a fast-moving, fast-talking, snark-filled, pop-culture-peppered wild adventure. And if you haven't seen it yet, you should.