Overheard in the Classroom - Part Two

     The second "Overheard in the Classroom" post, this time dealing with the spring 2016 semester at Rogers State University.

     1-12-16, Topics of Advanced Composition
     Dr. Dial-Driver - "....my daughter's kids live in a two-story house - there ought to be a law against two-story houses...."

     1-12-16, Studies in Poetry
     Since almost everyone from fall's Poetry Writing was back for Studies in Poetry, someone mentioned McKenzie's phrase "It's cool to learn shit!" as a sort of motto for the course. This got a good laugh.

     1-12-16, Scriptwriting
     We were supposed to write nine adjectives on a slip of paper, pass it to someone else, who would write nine more adjectives before passing it to someone else, who wrote down nine nouns. Then we selected one word from each set to finish the sentence "My life as a..." and explain the metaphor. Answers included "panicked, tormented airplane" (from Eric), "open cluttered notebook" (from Lauren, my favorite of these descriptions) and "furious, thoughtful tornado" (me). Jalexa wrote down "twinkling blasphemous supervolcano," which caused Dr. Blakely to frown, chuckle and say, "What is that? A Disney volcano with glitter? I don't know....and if it's blasphemous, then it maybe looks like a penis."

     1-14-16, Studies in Poetry
     "I didn't know the name." - Cody. "Well, his middle name wasn't Batman, so, no, you wouldn't!" Dr. Mackie snaps. (Eruption of giggles from the rest of us who had to endure his Batman fixation all last semester.)
     After a peculiar guy named Eric reads his latest poem, there's a stunned silence. "Well. That was depressing," Dr. Mackie finally says.
     "Did I hear you right, that you just used 'cucumber' in a poem?!" - Dr. Mackie to somebody.
     Catee refers to herself as "devious and sneaky." That got a laugh.
     "Did you really use 'trailer park'?" Dr. Mackie asks me after I finish reading my poem focusing on imagery(because that was the day's assignment.) "Well, there's so many poems about aardvarks...." Jeff says.
     "Maybe the theater smells like a book in a fish tank." - Jalexa, during a discussion of how weird the auditorium is. (It's not anywhere near as bad as people say.)

     1-19-16, Studies in Poetry
     Today's assignment - reference a song of our generation in a poem, where audiences can catch the allusion easily. After the third guy in a row(Alex) picks "All Star" by Smashmouth, Dr. Mackie asks him, "Why was this the only song you could think of? You're a musician!"
     "So many times I have no idea what you're talking about," Dr. Mackie says to Brandon after the latest poem. (Lots of us nod in agreement.)
     "You haven't let go of Whitman yet, have you?" Dr. Mackie asks Jeff after we hear his latest poem. (More chuckling from the rest of us who were in Poetry Writing last fall.)

     1-19-16, Scriptwriting
     Today's assignment is to create a character and write a monologue for him/her based solely off a row of hats. I created Alphonso the Graduation Cap, who complained about the state of public education today and the lack of Latin being taught.
     Anyway, Dr. Blakely was wearing a Medea mask when he walked in, which surprised us somewhat. He had us guess what it was for before explaining, I took a stab at IDing this role: "You're a....pelican?"

     1-21-16, Topics
     During one of Dr. Dial-Driver's stories, she got to talking about how she was fired from a waitressing job in high school because she dumped coffee on a guy who was harassing her. That seems like a great reaction worth getting fired for.

     1-21-16, Studies in Poetry
     "I never see you without your Diet Coke," Dr. Mackie says to me.

     1-21-16, Scriptwriting
     "I lost my title page in an hour and a half." - Eric, talking about his script.
     Archer, reading Eric's script - "I was one of your key detonators! I mean, donators."

     1-23-16, Topics
     The class was talking about how Oklahoma doesn't fit anywhere, since it seems to be right in the middle of everything happening around the country. Dr. Dial-Driver - "Yeah, well, in the southwest part of the state, where I grew up, there's nothing there between you and God except a barbed-wire fence."

     1-26-16, Studies in Poetry
     Today provided many, many entertaining quotes, as this class was even more bizarre than normal.
     Eric, on drugs for some kind of infection, was rambling on about something, Dr. Mackie interrupts: "You're on drugs! STOP talking!"
    "I just wanna get my BB gun and shoot people in the ass when they say, 'I love winter!'" Dr. Mackie grumbles.
     "How am I supposed to teach iambic pentameter to a bunch of people who can't even agree on pronouncing 'cement'?!!!" Dr. Mackie wails. (She couldn't. Only about three people could understand it out of the fifteen of us in the class. We all tried really hard, though, but there is much gnashing of teeth and hiding whenever the term "iambic pentameter" comes up ever after.)
     Brandon's observation poem came from The Phantom Tollbooth, parking lot problems were griped about, people did Yogi Bear impressions, and Zach wrote about his puppy Gruber. "I don't know how puppies think," he says in closing.
     "Did you just say 'shark race'?" Cody asks. (No, Zach didn't.) Me and Lauren immediately pounce on this as a good scene to use later in some kind of project, though no one can figure out how exactly a shark race would work.
     "Geese hate everyone. They're assholes," Catee states matter-of-factly. This starts a large discussion of how awful geese are, particularly the ones which live on campus. Near the end of it, Dr. Mackie mutters in amusement, "What'd you talk about in class today? We talked about geese shit."
     "I think my cat was a serial killer," Jeff says calmly.

     1-28-16, Studies in Poetry
     Since we all know how much Dr. Mackie detests Leonardo DiCaprio's acting, Jeff tries to encourage her to see The Revenant with "He gets mauled by a bear!"
     "It's titled 'To my Daughter.' It's a crush poem," Brian says. "Awww...." is the reaction of everyone else. After he's finished reading it - "Wait. That bastard who?" Dr. Mackie. "Elmo," he answers.
     "I come off as a bitter nerd in this, but I don't care," Jeff says in preamble to reading his latest work. None of us did too well with utilizing understatement and hyperbole.
     "'Kitchen Floor, Why Won't You Stay Dry?' is the title." - Donna. (Approving laughter from the rest of us.) "Don't you dare say you hate this title, Cody! It's a great title!" - Dr. Mackie.
     McKenzie wrote a poem snarling at the never-ceasing fire alarms in UV-B. It was great!
      "Have you read all of Finnegan's Wake? And why?" Dr. Mackie asks Brandon. (Much complaining and howling about Joyce occurs here.)
     "I wonder if anyone has ever written an ode to crawfish before...." Dr. Mackie says in response to Catee's poem.

     2-2-16, Studies in Poetry
     I wrote this in my notebook: "You know you're bored when you intensively scrutinize your fingernails." Also, apparently someone wrote a novel called I Got an Alligator for a Pet entirely in iambic pentameter, for some awful reason.
     "There's a hairbrush stuck in the wall partition," Catee reported for general edification. (Apparently she was bored, too.)
     There were the first of many, many political rants that ate up most of class time....although Jeff and Dr. Mackie were insulting each other about Leonardo DiCaprio in iambic pentameter. That was funny.
     "Does anyone else think of pet food whenever we say 'iambs'?" Dr. Mackie asks.

     2-4-16, Studies in Poetry
     While discussing whether songs could be considered poetry(a debate that never got finished by semester's end), someone mentions this amazing remixed cover of "Call Me Maybe" by Jenny Owen Young.

     2-9-16, Studies in Poetry
     There was a quiz today, and the creepy unnatural silence and formal solemnity in the room before it started was hilarious.
     "You have a very strange relationship with your Xbox," was Dr. Mackie's pronouncement after Cole reads his poem about his N64.
     "My emotional range can fit in a teaspoon," McKenzie says. I think that's a Harry Potter quote, but it was still hilarious.

     2-11-16, Studies in Poetry
     "No, I thought we were supposed to write about vocab words...." Zach tries to explain his poem, which completely missed the point of that day's assignment. (It was a great poem, though.)
     Dr. Mackie: "Wow. Moral of the story - Don't play saxophone. You'll die. Good thing my daughter switched to oboe."
     After we try fruitlessly to dig some kind of meaning out of Donna's poem, which makes no sense whatsoever, she says, "...Yeah, I don't get it, either." More silence, then Dr. Mackie says, "It was a very strange marriage between Harry Potter and The Lion King."

     2-26-16, Studies in Poetry
     After finishing reading his very sappy love poem, a stoical guy named Alex says, "I think I must be a maiden in love." Everyone snorts. "It's not bad, it's just - so light and fluffy. I want to gag." "It gave me diabetes," Eric comments.
     Cody is explaining that his coworkers decided to call him "Dick," as in "Grayson"(Robin), due to his obsession with Batman. "Are you sure that was their explanation for it?" Brian asks blandly, sending the rest of us snickering.

     2-26-16, Topics
     "Negatively perky. That's me in a nutshell." - Madison.

     2-18-16, Studies in Poetry
     Everyone gushed about how much they loved the Berenstain Bears before class. That was awesome.
     "Yeah, 'dumbass' is a term of endearment." - Dr. Mackie to Cody.
     I wrote a sestina for Parks and Rec fans that was one long inside joke after another, as it was delivered deadpan by Ron Swanson. After some of us quickly explained the joke to Dr. Mackie, it got lots of praise from everyone, and Dr. Mackie even shared it around the English department.

     2-23-16, Topics
     For some reason we get to talking about The Wizard of Oz today. Dr. Dial-Driver - "In the book, he gives the Scarecrow needles and pins for brains." Why, Sage asks, as she is one of the handful who hadn't read the book before. "Because they're sharp," DD answers.

     3-1-16, Topics
     Today's random topic was child pornography....it was one of those classes everyone bolts out the door as quickly as possible. Unrelated to that discussion, there was this quotable quote: "I don't get on my phone very often in public. Like, unless something weird happens, like a phone call." - Zach.

     3-1-16, Studies in Poetry
     "It's too songy, and less poey," Eric tries to clarify what was off with Catee's latest poem.

     3-1-16, Scriptwriting
     After we finish reading Eric's latest script about a humorous street fight: "Has anyone here actually been in a fight? Cause I haven't." - Dr. Blakely.

     3-3-16, Studies in Poetry
     Because it was iambic pentameter, we all kinda failed an assignment to write in blank verse. So we cheered ourselves up by teasing Dr. Mackie about her New England accent. Also, apparently "smile" and "poem" are both one syllable, but "fire" is two?! None of us could figure that one out.

     3-23-16, Tales From Tent City
     While rehearsing Tent City in the basement due to the auditorium showing a movie tonight, we had to improvise a little bit, and keep the sound down a lot. Zach races through one of his character's songs, which is the bridge between scenes. So I zone out, since I had been offstage for quite a while, and I miss my cue. Eventually Autumn and Zach wake me up, so I spin around on the piano bench I'd been sitting on, not quite all there yet:
     "Is it morning?" "Yeah, it's morning." I then deliver my line: "Doughnuts!"
     "Wrong morning!" Charli, Zach's girlfriend and the stage manager, snaps. (The actual line was "Do you ever sleep?", but I mixed those scenes up.)

     3-24-16, Studies in Poetry
     Today's random conversations included horror movies and being scared of the dark.

     3-29-16, Topics
     Jeff described a civil war that he was involved in during elementary school. Apparently it started because the first- and second-graders disagreed over Santa's existence. The first-graders believed in him, the second-graders didn't. I loved this idea, so I scrawled it down for safekeeping.

    3-29-16, Studies in Poetry
    My playing Brad Paisley's "Mr. Policeman" as an example of poetic elements within songs got an entertaining discussion started. Taxes and tornadoes were also "subjects of general interest," to quote from Cheaper by the Dozen. 
     "You can always tell a Wesley poem," Dr. Mackie muses, and everyone else agrees. (Not sure what sets mine apart, but okay....)
     "Did Eric write that?" Lauren laughs after Cody reads a poem about zombies.
     "Wait, he's depressing-" Dr. Mackie changes her mind on who should read next. "Actually it's more existential," Brandon tries to defend himself. "You mean it's a Brandon poem?" Dr. Mackei shoots back, much to the amusement of the class.

     4-7-16, Tales From Tent City
     While getting set for Tent City to open on the first night of shows, Kessiah says randomly, "The Chamber of Secrets has been opened." Me, not paying much attention: "Was that a euphenism?" "No, it says so right on that wall. See?" Slight pause, then she snorts. "I can see how you would think that, though, it being me...but no, my Chamber of Secrets has not been opened!"

     4-12-16, Studies in Poetry
     Cody wrote a poem about the movie There's Something About Mary, so we were grateful it wasn't another Batman poem. Jeff does tease him, though, since someone has to, saying, "Pick better movies..." Dr. Mackie frowns at him - "You know I could stand up and smack you, right?" "Don't. Please?"
    Catee's poem for today included the phrase "nurses' baffled hurrumphs." I had to scribble that down in the margins of my notebook.
     Unrelated to earlier conversation about Cody's poem, Dr. Mackie randomly turns to Jeff and asks, "Did you just growl?"

     4-12-16, Scriptwriting
     Once the OU theater department was putting on a play, which was interrupted by a tornado. So after hustling everyone to the shelter, they finished the play there, improvising the props necessary. How awesome!

    4-14-16, Topics
    Dr. Dial-Driver plunks a package of Oreos on her desk when she comes into the classroom, apparently so she and her husband won't eat them all up. "Have a cookie," she says, sounding exactly like May from Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. 
     After Zach's phone rings, since he forgot to silence it: Dr. Dial-Driver says "I thought we didn't allow phone calls in here. I left mine in the other room[her office] so my sister can't say something weird." She then describes the weird texts her sister sends her on a regular basis. (And yes, they do sound strange.)

    4-14-16, Studies in Poetry
    Cole wrote a mock-Frost poem about Cody and his tendency to write about Batman all the time, which was met with much general acclaim. Cody literally wrote about diarrhea. (Everyone hated that one.) "You really are 11," Dr. Mackie sighed at him in disgust.

     4-19-16, Scriptwriting
     "I'm trying not to spit on Archer," Eric interrupts one of his lines as a lisping snake. Archer, sitting next to him: "IT'S NOT WORKING!"
     A frizzy-haired blonde girl(no one ever learned her name, maybe it was Jenna) enters the room a half hour late. "Sorry. I was hung over." More blank stares. "But I'm better now." "Oh. Okay," Dr. Blakely answers for the rest of us. "Glad you could make it."

     4-21-16, Studies in Poetry
     Another set of sestinas has just been assigned, and reminders have been given that they lend themselves well to narratives. "I did that narrative in the attic-" Cody begins to say, before getting interrupted by Lauren's joy-filled "I liked that one!!!" "Thank you-" "No, I meant the sestinas!" An eruption of laughter followed.

    4-26-16, Studies in Poetry
    Zach asked Charli for endwords for his sestina. She gave him the following: ocean, girlfriend, sprinkler, butt, cupcake and fall. He managed to turn into something halfway understandable.
    "Did you say your dog was driving?" Zach asks Lauren. this led to stories of dogs pooping in places they shouldn't.
     "I had a nightmare last night I made the final where you all wrote a sonnet," Dr. Mackie says while dismissing us. Someone agrees that that would be a nightmare, as we howl in appropriate panic. "I know, that's why I'm glad it was just a dream!"