These ideas have kind of been floating around half-formed for a couple weeks, wasn't sure what to do with them, so I just decided to try to combine them all into one post. I just got to thinking about what the outside appearance tells us about ourselves and what it tells other people.
They kind of hold memories hidden deep into the past, or serve as hopeful reminders about things to come. They show how we wish to be perceived, ways we'd like to improve. About our attitude towards life, how we approach things like our jobs.
Like, take scars for instance. They show we've gotten through something, remind us of a memory or tell something to avoid, make sure we've learned some lesson from an event. I have a small burn scar on my right forearm, it says whenever I notice it's there, "Be very careful when taking brownies out of a hot oven!" And then I think about the blessing of chocolate, and the fact that we can cook tasty food and experiment with new recipes, all of those are very good things that God didn't have to let us enjoy, but He did. And heat, which we wouldn't be able to survive without in cold temperatures. That's another blessing.
Three small pinkish-white scars on my pinky, ring and middle fingers serve as a reminder that stairs really don't work that well when they're two inches too short. Especially not if they're made of concrete. So, if you ever find yourself doing home construction, be sure to build the stairs and other items the right way. If you don't, then you'll have massive structural problems later on, but that's another post... Didn't mean to go into a a rant on proper remodeling techniques. I was on my way to the post office to mail a birthday card to a friend, so I often just stop and say a quick prayer for those I know, thank God for the fellow travelers He places at times in our journey through life. We can pray for one another, teach and encourage each other, laugh at often-pointless-but-hilarious inside jokes and recall pleasant memories. We can try to ease the burden somewhat when things aren't going well, to share in grief through hard times. We can be happy when good things take place in our friends' and family's lives. It's on my left hand, the one I serve with in volleyball, which is a great game, nice temporary break from the stress of everyday life. It also brings back good times at camp, as well as stressful moments. And the card's recipient is one of the best volleyball players I've ever seen, she was a great teammate, good to work with.
There's emotional scars that may not be as easy to spot, but sometimes take a while longer to close. Like 9/11, or the fire, the loss of a dearly-loved pet. They never quite heal; the hole they leave is never completely filled again. We learn to keep going.
A by-now-tiny scar on my upper shin is a relic from a trip to the zoo when I was about four or five, I tripped on the sidewalk just after we'd left and tore all the skin on my knee. It was extremely bloody, took SIX (!) Band-Aids to cover it up. Very messy, never really forgotten that, for some reason. Always think of it whenever I go to the zoo, or at random times as I walk the crack-mosaic and crumbling sidewalks around campus and downtown.
There's a large scar on my stomach from a surgery done as a baby, Trevor and Caleb think it's amazing. I guess they think it looks tough and impressive, like I could beat somebody up. And when you're eleven and love all things military, that's a really cool and good thing.
And there's my eye, which I can't really say anything about, because it's always been this way, I've never known any other way of looking at life. And so at times it's made some things difficult, others near impossible, but most of the time I can just ignore it and go about life. And in a way, even that's been a good thing, getting some help with paying for college. So, there's a lot of things I'm not quite sure how I'll work around in the future(for example, transportation, work, etc.), but I'll find some way. After all, I've taught myself tricks to do a lot of things I probably shouldn't, medically speaking when I was born, be able to do.
Working as a sportswriter throughout high school, part of the gameday tools was the press pass. A kind of secret key behind the scenes, this ID card on a lanyard allowed access to places most fans can't go before getting quickly chased out. That doesn't mean I haven't been booted out of places myself, but just that it didn't happen as often. I learned that acting confident of your role is often what convinces people to let you find shortcuts or detours on the way to the objective you're trying to reach. It represents sort of my role in life so far: Mostly to stay on the fringes and observe what's happening, then try to find some good points to talk about in the story so the audience can absorb the information.
So I'm just kind of used to having something around my neck, why I usually wear a necklace when going someplace or whatever. Yeah, I know that sounds a little strange. One of the two I usually wear was made by a friend, broken in a football game, and then rebuilt by another friend. So it, also, in some ways reminds me that there's family and friends out there, even though sometimes this world feels gigantic and I'm a tiny ant all alone in comparison. More than that, though, is its main reminder. It's two nails(well, a nail and a screw, actually) fastened together with some wire to form a cross. Really drives home the point of the sufferings Christ went through, the enormity of that mystery, of why God would choose to save certain lost sinful creatures. But just as much brings the inexpressible joy of thankfulness for his grace, and the reality that "God is there and He is watching/He tells me all is well", to quote the DC Talk song "Supernatural". So keep running the race, keep fighting the good fight. There's going to be times of hardship, dark valleys, but it's part of being one of his followers, means we're on the right track. And hopefully as we strive to go through our lives in a godly manner, that will encourage other believers, and possibly lead to a doomed soul being saved from the destruction of eternity in hell. So that's the main reason I wear it, the primary message it preaches. I sometimes attach a spare guitar part(a "button", it holds a strap in place) onto the string, which is just a reminder that one of the ways we can preach truths to ourselves and others, as well as tell people about what we've been given, is through music.
The other necklace is made of some kind of shiny metal, it's been around forever, no clue where I might have gotten it. (Maybe Faith Baptist in Broken Arrow, when Mom and Dad were youth pastors? Left behind someplace by one of the teenagers, and I picked it up? As a prize for something in Miss Nancy's Sunday School class? I don't know.) On the front, it says "WWJD"(What Would Jesus Do?) with a cross set inside the letters. It's a great question, a good check to try to live and act and say things in a way that would be pleasing to Him.
You have to have a watch. Makes sure things are running on schedule, plus useful for timing things or knowing what day of the week or month it is. (Useful tool when in college and all the days run together...) There's this "Calvin and Hobbes" where Calvin's complaining about how his watch doesn't tell what month it is...it tells the time, day of the week and day of the month, but not what month it is. Hobbes, ever the sarcastic dry-witted voice of reason, says, "Well, I guess they figure that if you don't know what month it is, you probably aren't the type to wear a watch."
I have this rubber bracelet I got a while ago, probably about twelve, just near when the drama group was starting. It's camouflage black and white swirled together, with "COURAGE" printed on it. I'm not very brave. Usually scared of something more often than not(I kinda have a "fear of man" problem, I guess). It's nice to have that reminder to keep going, to have courage.
And there's my "leash", a green lanyard with my keys on it. Sort of important to know where those are...and if they're hanging from my neck, then I shouldn't ever lose them, right? (In theory, at least.) I call it a leash because it's a symbol of being chained along doggedly working towards my degree.
Clothes also say lots about us. Most of mine were given to us by strangers after the fire, like this old leather jacket from the 80's/90's. (Like, seriously. It has shoulder pads.) But I like it. It's warm; which is very useful. It's comfortable; most jackets and coats aren't. It has lots of pockets; which is extremely useful. I can tuck a bag of cookies in there, or my camera, an energy drink or guitar tuner...you get the idea. And it looks like the one MacGyver always wears. Now, I know that sounds a little silly; but isn't there something to be said for that extra boost of whatever-you-want-to-call-it, Michael's Secret Stuff, at times? Isn't it possible that looking something like MacGyver would make you feel a little smarter or resourceful, which in turn might translate to a small rise in confidence or problem-solving or something?
I've got this hoodie and T-shirt from the first year the Thunder played in OKC, got them the day after the fire. By God's grace, we survived that. And all the rebuilding and everything. Sometimes I forget that too easily.
Other than that, I pretty much try to make the clothes I have last as long as possible, which means that when I don't have to go anywhere my jeans are generally ripped and faded, my T-shirt has stains, and my hoodie may be without sleeves. And my tennis shoes are literally worn til they fall apart. I don't like spending any more money than I have to.
So, that's basically it....just a bunch of random thoughts are crammed together. Was doing laundry over the weekend, forgot to check to make sure it was empty of everything, and missed a couple dozen crayons. Yup....half my wear-in-public shirts got stained; not bad, but just bad enough that when you're around people most of the time(like, classes...) they wouldn't work. But I guess everybody needs to mess up something in the washer at some point, right? It'll probably be sort of funny someday.
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