Cameron Richard was a good story, overcoming that cleft palate, but his performance of an Ed Sheeran song called "Give Me Love" felt like it would have belonged better at a talent show. His voice didn't seem very developed yet at all. But they let him through anyway...
Daniel with the Gigantic Crush on JayLo was better than I expected. He shouldn't have gotten through, I don't think, but the Tinder montage right after his audition was pretty funny.
Dalton Rappatoni sang an incredible boring song("The Phantom of the Opera"?!), but his voice was decent. Trevor was extremely offended that he was wearing makeup.
La'Porsha Renae had a HORRIBLE perm. It was cool seeing JayLo hold the baby, but it felt like this audition never ended. After eight million years, it finally did.
Maddie the Farm Girl definitely made an impression....but what can you say to someone who introduces herself and her hen by saying "This chicken has the biggest breasts in Arkansas"? She didn't have a voice big enough to sing something of Carrie's. Also, there is no way "Cowboy Casanova" can ever be sung that slowly. "Umm.....you just sound so young," was all Harry could think of to say. The judges launching into the Green Acres theme song was hysterical.
Staying around the farm was Trent Harmon, but as he said during his intro, "You can sing to the cows all you want....but they still won't buy any albums." And so then he started singing....and I totally agreed with JayLo's "I can't even." "So was NOT expecting that...." - Keith. Trevor hated it. The memes afterward were entertaining.
Switching out west to San Francisco, Brooke the Ditzy Apologizing Waitress was hilarious and highly quotable: "Shcrap....I'm sorry." "Most nights I go home smelling like ranch." She sang a Dixie Chicks song, it was all right.
Olivia Rox had a really cool guitar, and the second thing I noticed about it was that her capo was set at 8. (That's extremely high.) She played piano well and seemed friendly and pretty in a Natalie Portman type of way, I would totally vote for her.
Jessica the Witch was fine, in an "instantly forgetable" way.
The girl named Ameet just got a "Meh...." in my notebook. "Is this American Idol, or is it American Bridal?" Keith wanted to know.
Kayla looked terrifying. (I have no remembrance of this contestant.)
Melanie Tierce with the "model eyes" was cute. And she had a really nice voice. And a pretty guitar.
Miss Alaska Malie the radio host seemed like the wild edge of cool. She sang a Gretchen Wilson tune called "Chariot", which was weird-sounding. "It's like a dog fight with the girls this year. In your case I guess that'd be a husky fight....So, MUSH!" - Harry.
Brandyn from St. Louis looked really familiar for some weird reason that none of us could figure out. He sang an original song that sounded like it was radio-ready right then. And then Harry snuck up behind him, which was hilarious enough, but then to hug him at the end, that was absolutely hysterical. (And it actually fit the lyric really well.) "I thought for a minute that was my mom..." Brandyn said. "Evidently his mom has very hairy arms," Keith commented once he'd left.
Kyrsti Chavez was very Energetic. And clear, and Loud. "Mom and Dad are watching. How can I say no?" Harry asked. Her family was even funnier, though - "I just won the lottery...." when Ryan told him to go watch the audition from the inside. She shouldn't have been let through based on her voice, but Hollywood does need Personalities.
Then there was some fortune cookie fun, and a great montage of overconfident contestants.
Frenetic Sarah was truly awful, prattling on for nine minutes about the body being a temple(Harry interrupting with "What about my damn temple?!" was funny.) Then she infuriated Keith and most of America by slamming country music(yes, he does know who Miranda Lambert is - they're friends, and they teamed up for "We Were Us". Also, they filmed that video in Oklahoma City.) Anyway, Sarah was abrasive all the way through, and then she repeatedly forgot the lyrics. It was a good karoke voice. "You need to know the lyrics and be prepared. You kept saying, 'Oh, I messed up' and shooting yourself in the foot over and over. That sets up our expectations, which makes you even more unsettled....If you're auditioning, that is not the best way to do it. You don't seem ready for this at all." Keith just stated flatly. (Lots of cheers from our family room here.)
They brought us back to Little Rock for the end, as Tristan McIntosh closed out the show. (She looks a lot like Becky Sproles from Friday Night Lights.) She played piano well, and had a really interesting tone to her voice, which reminded me a bit of Sara Evans. And then her mom showing up, and they played Carrie's "So Small" over the whole scene....it was amazing! "I'm really happy right now," Tristan sobs. "I know I don't look like it but I am!" And so was the rest of America.
The DeSpains' neighbor Kailey Abel was auditioning in Little Rock, and she got a Golden Ticket, too. They didn't show her audition, but I looked up some videos of her on YouTube, and she sounded pretty good.
So after the first week of episodes, I'm pulling for Josiah, Lee Jean, Sonika, Reanna, Brooke, Olivia, Melanie, Brandyn and Tristan.
No comments:
Post a Comment