Thursday, August 20, 2015

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Quotes - Season Two, Part II

Part two of season two's best quotes and quips from Agents. 

Episode Eight, "The Things We Bury".
     "Discovery requires experimentation." (Repeated HYDRA line.)
     "There's a special place, and if one of these special people takes the Diviner to that special place, it won't just kill. It will do something, scientifically speaking, much, much cooler." - Cal to Whitehall.
     "I'm unclear how I'm stuck running the base, and...you're off to Hawaii?" - May to Coulson.
     "And you've found something to chase." - Skye. "Fury. I've been thinking a lot about what made him such a good Director. His communication skills? Flawed. But he could always see five steps ahead, which, for a one-eyed man, is impressive." - Coulson.
     "I don't see how you could work for someone, so..." - Bobbi thinks a minute. "Call him "evil" all you want." - Bakshi. "No, I was gonna say "boring"."
     "So, you think Bakshi's been brainwashed?" - Mack. "No, but I want the idea to drive him nuts for a while. Any HYDRA member could have been, and not known it." - Bobbi. "Yes, that's true!" Simmons agrees cheerfully, then catches herself. "Oh..." (Same scene.) "Maybe there's some kind of connection between the Red Skull and Whitehall." - Bobbi. "Sounds logical...except that Red Skull has been dead for over seventy years." - Hunter.
     "Hey, big brother. I heard you were looking for me." - Grant Ward to Senator Christian Ward.
     (Coulson gives Skye and Trip a mission in Oahu, delivering stuff to places.) "Am I good with this in my pocket?" - Trip asks, about his trinket. "That depends. You ever want kids?" - Coulson. (Trips stares alarmed at the thing.) "And bring back the blue tie." "You got it, sir." "And get back ASAP. This Bus has to be wheels up in forty minutes." (They exit.) "Any orders for me, sir?" - Fitz. "You wanted to get back in the field; here's your chance." "That's a....transceiver, or, at least, parts for one." "I'm gonna need you to install this in the field, under pressure, in less than six minutes." "You are aware that I only have one hand that works...good." "That's why you'll practice it over and over until you've got it down cold. Muscle memory. Don't think about the action; let the action help you think."
     "I've found decades of research, and it's incomplete....but I did find the original 0-8-4 report, signed by Agent Carter herself!" - Simmons. "Anything on Red Skull?" - May. "Did you hear what I said? Peggy Carter, founder, happens to be British, held this in her hand!"
     (At the Bus, Fitz is frustrated with hi inability to get the task done. Trip and Skye enter.) "Hey, whatever you're doing, just take a break. What are you doing, anyway?" - Skye. "Coulson has me patching in a transceiver into a system that's not even supposed to handle one." "You can do that in your sleep." - Trip. "Yes, yes, I know! In my sleep, I'm quite good at it. Problem is I'm awake. Think Coulson's testing me." "Nah....Coulson doesn't roll that way. If he has you in the dark, it's for a reason." "Or just keeping me busy..." "I just gave a button to a 300-pound Hawaiian dude. Look, we've been through some crazy; you two especially, but the whole time Coulson's been our anchor. He may seem lost sometimes, but he's always got a plan." (Coulson comes downstairs.) "O Captain, My Captain! Your necktie." "Any complications out there?" - Coulson. "I kept waiting for that other shoe..." - Skye. "Great! Everything's in motion then. Except the Bus. Get us airborne." "Where to, sir?" Trip asks. "Australian Outback. We have a satellite network to steal, and very little time." "What's the story here with the tie?" - Skye. "It was a gift from Audrey, and I spilled poi all over it...UNDER SIX MINUTES! You can do it!" he says first to Skye, then Fitz.
     "I would have agreed with you, before "alien" became a word we use daily." - Simmons to Mack.
     "Have you come to make a deal?" - Reinhardt, in prison. "With the devil? I considered it. As you said, the skies might open up one day. Your work would be valuable. But if that day comes, I know who I'd want by my side. It isn't you." - Peggy Carter.
     (Following another argument.) "Will you never trust me?" Bobbi asks. Hunter shakes his head. "But I'll never stop wanting to."

Episode Nine, "...Ye Who Enter Here".
     (Trip and Simmons break off their conversation about Skye's dad awkwardly when she enters the living room of the Bus.) "Mission prep in five, cargo hold."  (They state at each other, awkwardly.) "You're talking about my dad." "I'm sorry. It must be so-" Simmons begins. "Messed up?" Skye nods. "I was going to use the off-color version of "messed up", but it felt inappropriate." "Oh, it was appropriate. my dad, Ward, the Obelisk, the city, it's all....messed up. And....I just - I can't shake this vibe that something really bad is about to happen." "You mean like someone getting shot? Yeah, I got that covered already, so you can lose that vibe. We're good." - Trip. "That's right! Yeah. Nothing but positive thoughts from here on out." (Simmons knocks on the table.) "...That's not wood, is it?" (Trip smiles. Skye still looks worried and knocks on table herself.)
     (During mission briefing, about location of city.) "Isn't that in the Bermuda Triangle? Cause that would explain a lot." - Trip. "Actually it doesn't have anything to do with the Triangle. We solved that back in the 80's." - Coulson.
     "Look, I....I know the story, of what Ward did to you two. How Fitz's brain was damaged. That's not your issue, is it?" - Bobbi. "No," Simmons answers, very quiet. "So what happened?" Simmons sighs. "We were in the bottom of the ocean, in a storage pod and left for dead, and Fitz, he....said something that caught me completely off guard-" "Ah. Those three little words." "Yes! Well, no. I mean, not exactly..." (She sighs again.) "I barely had a moment to process what he was saying or how I felt about it, next thing I know he's giving me the oxygen and water's rushing in, and he...(another sigh) He's...he's laying there, in the hospital bed...he looked so pale." "How long was Fitz in the coma?" "Nine of the longest days of my life. When it finally broke, he couldn't speak.He just....he just stared at me, confused. All I wanted to do was help him. All I wanted was....my best friend back." "Your best friend." "I never thought of him as anything else! But all the same, I can't imagine my life without him!"
     "Don't die out there, all right?" - Bobbi to Hunter. "It's Canada," he shrugs.
     "You're a big brother, but you're not my big brother," Bobbi snaps at Mack.
     (Hunter tackles Agent 33, saving Skye's life.) "There's more coming, we need to get out of here." (He sees Agent 33's face where May electrocuted her.) "What the hell is that?" "May's evil twin," Skye answers. "And I thought the Koenigs were creepy..." he mutters.
     "Have you ever tried the fried plantains here?" - Coulson asks Bobbi in San Juan, Puerto Rico. "Yeah, why?" "I heard about this place down the street that puts crab meat in there. Wouldn't mind trying that. You know, after we save the world." "You know....for a guy who's about to blow up a chunk of an underground city...you don't seem fazed." "You have concerns?" "I just wanna make sure that we're here to destroy that weapon, not recover it." "Why would we do that?" "It's what Fury would do." "I'm not Fury." "No; but he did hand you the keys to the kingdom for a reason." (He sighs.) "Look around you. Vendors, selling their wares, bringing home a modest income. Locals, buying fresh vegetables for dinner tonight. Tourists, on their one vacation a year." "Point?" "They are the point. They're the reason I'm here. The reason there's a S.H.I.E.L.D. There are three million people on this island, and I won't let HYDRA turn them into collateral damage."
     "Okay. I'm gonna go check on the landing gear," - Mack announces to FitzSimmons. "Why?" Fitz asks. "Because the awkward silence in here is killing me."
     "Are you saying that Whitehall has the Diviner?" - Raina. "Someone give that girl a new flower dress." - Skye. "Well, that changes things."
     (Simmons has just explained the legend of the tower they're about to plummet into.) "Well, that's a deep hole," Mack observes. "And haunted, apparently." - Fitz adds. "Not scared of ghosts, though, are you, Mack?" "Me? Hmmph, no. Of course not. But, uh...what was that story?" (Soon after Coulson and Bobbi enter the tower, FitzSimmons is trying to explain something to Coulson, talking rapidly at the same time.) "Someone start talking," he finally barks. "Yeah, we're ready to deploy, sir." - Fitz.
     "Be honest, Skye. Haven't you ever felt lost, or that you were a part of something...bigger? Like you were special?" - Raina. "When you say "special", what you really mean is..."alien"."
     (Ward has boarded the Bus for capturing Raina for HYDRA.) "Lower your weapons. Anyone shoots, the plane goes down, we all die." - Ward. "Maybe it's wroth it." - May. "Let's not get carried away just yet." - Hunter. "First you gave us Bakshi, now you're back with HYDRA? Pick a side, Ward." - Skye. "Oh, I have. Don't worry." (To Raina.) "Let's go." "With pleasure." (Ward to Skye.) "You too." "What?" "I made you a promise, Skye. I'm here to keep it. You're coming with us." (In the middle of the intense debate which follows this order, Ward looks at the Koenigs in confusion. "How many of you are there?"

Episode Ten, "What They Become".
     "...if he really is gone, then the number of people that I trust on this planet just plummeted." - Hunter. "I didn't think you trusted anybody." - Bobbi. "Some I mistrust less than others."
     "Maybe you don't remember, but we've played this game of "Let's Kidnap Skye" before, and it didn't end well for you." - Skye to Ward.
     (In the middle of a heartbreaking reunion.) "Well, I don't know what you know about me-" Cal begins. "You're a monster. A murderer. There's a trail of death wherever you go," Skye blurts out. "Those are all true. But you need to understand. My little girl was....You.were taken from me, and my life fell apart."
     "Okay, this is bad. Diego's early, and he's wearing a suit." - Bobbi. "Uh...yeah, you're gonna have to connect the dots on why that's bad." - Hunter. "Well, he's never early, and he never wears a suit!" "Ah. Yeah. Well, that clears everything up."
     "There'll be plenty of time to answer all of your questions. But first, I'm off to kill the man who ruined my life. Best day ever." - Cal exits the room; Skye breaks out in tears.
     "If my daughter wasn't here, then I would rip you and all of your men to pieces." - Cal, to Whitehall. "Well, then I'll add that to the reasons I'm glad she's here." (Whitehall turns to Ward.) "You are the piece of the puzzle that I can't decipher. Why are you here?" "Is it really that hard to see?" - Raina taunts. "It's love. Agent Ward believes that if he helps Skye fulfill her destiny, she'll see him for who he really is."
     "Two goals. Stop the drill, and find Skye." - Coulson. "Aren't you forgetting a third?" - Hunter. "And what is that?" "We tend to remind each other not to die," Bobbi explains. "I thought that was implicit." "He likes to hear it."
     "That woman whose face you're wearing, I knew her. How did you end up with her face?" Ward asks Agent 33. "Serving Dr. Whitehall." "That's....gotta be an interesting story."
     "Join S.H.I.E.L.D. Travel to exciting distant lands, meet all kinds of interesting people. And kill them." - Hunter thinks out loud during a raid.
     (Skye barges in on Cal and Coulson pummeling each other.) "DAD!"
     "Change is terrifying. But I love you. I will always love you, Daisy." - Cal.

Episode Eleven, "Aftershocks".
     "I haven't been able to sleep either." - Coulson. "I keep thinking Trip is gonna come see me. Make fun of me for being stuck in quarantine. Call me a goldfish or a hamster or something. And every time I wake up, I remember all over again..."  {Coulson tries to comfort her.} "How's everyone doing?" she asks. "..Just trying to keep busy. Everyone deals with it in their own way. When you sign up for this kind of life, you accept that... loss, will be part of it. But you never get used to losing one of your own...especially when it's a good man like Trip. It happens too much. Over time, it makes it harder to let people in. Sometimes just makes you wanna pack up and run." "Is that what you wanna do? Run?" "Sometimes."
     "There's four of them left. You know what that means." - May. "No, not really." - Coulson. (May then shoots the guys and blows stuff up for good measure.) "That's what it means. It means I do that."
     "'They'll never take us alive'? Really? A little over the top, don't ya think?" - May. "I only had a day to come up with this whole thing. Besides, if I let you write the script, no one would say anything." - Coulson.
     "Is every Radio Shack a HYRDA outpost? I always suspected." - Hunter.
     "What happened to me?" - Raina. "Metamorphosis, by the looks of it..." - Cal.
     "Fixed your biometer watch; captured your vitals at the time of the temple collapse. Your heartrate was almost 300 BPM." - Fitz. "That's...very fast." - Skye. "No. That's inhuman."
     "For Coulson, Trip was the embodiment of the principles he wants S.H.I.E.L.D. to be founded on. Compassion. Loyalty. Heart. And that is S.H.I.E.L.D.'s strength. And Trip's death reminded Coulson that HYDRA doesn't have that. And that is their weakness." - May.
     "....We're gonna laugh a lot less. That's for sure." - Skye, summing up the team's future, and life without Trip.

Episode Twelve, "Who You Really Are".
     "So you are not Carver." - Lady Sif. "No; but I'm a friend. Son of Coul? We've worked together before." "I know I am of Asgard, but my life there...why I am here on Midgard, in these hides instead of armor....it is a mystery I do not know." "Neither do I. But we'll find a clue." "Twitter. Skye found it." - May.
     "We didn't find-" Fitz. "Anything new." - Simmons. "Until here," (Fitz pauses the video where Sif clonks the guy with her sword.) "I do very much enjoy that part." - Sif.
     "My mind is that of a lost adolescent. I can provide no information of value." - Sif. "Not totally true; judging by your clothes, we know you were undercover. Probably something you learned after your last visit here. Your usual full-armor look is a little more....conspicuous." - Coulson. "So you're saying that I wear that armor most of the time?" "Um-hmm." "Does this mean that I'm a warrior?" "A good one," May nods. "A great warrior..." she muses. "It's just details you're missing. You must remember things about your home world, right?" Coulson asks. "Only basic lessons a child would learn." "The name of your sword?" "What about...Thor?" May asks. Sif frowns, then smiles. "I do not know this word, but when you say it, I...want to smile. Why?" "Who can explain the mysteries of the Asgardian brain?" - Coulson. "I can," May smiles.
     (Huge lamppost crashes to the ground of a pier.) "I barely touched it, I swear!" - Hunter. "Trust me, there is no universe in which I would think you did that on your own." - Mack.
     "You speak Portuguese?" Skye asks Bobbi. "I'm not an expert. It's a pretty language; but hard to gauge if someone's lying." "Are you good at that?" "At lying? Or telling if someone's lying?" "I have a feeling you're probably an expert at both."
     "....yet you do not serve a king." Sif marvels at America. "Not really how things work with us," May agrees. "I wonder if I serve the king, as the great warrior you say I am." "Odin? Oh, we know you do. You've met him." "Shut. Up!" "Hey, it's her!" a balloon salesman shouts angrily. Coulson explains that he's been interviewing the man. "You are a dangerous monster!" the man yells at Sif. "I am no monster. I am sometimes dangerous, but only to those who are deserving." (She whispers to Coulson.) "I do not actually know. Is it true that I am only dangerous to...?" "No....that was right."
     "'Carver' means keys." - Sif. "Keys?" - Coulson. "Keys. A device used-" "Yeah, I know keys. Let's look into it." "Skye. Thank you for engaging my enemy. You are quite brave."
     "He loves you, and I think he will always love you. But I still think he might be capable of killing you." - Mack to Bobbi about Hunter.
     "You do not ask the questions, Kree. You will not talk." - Sif. "Actually....we need him to talk." - Coulson.
     (Bobbi examining Vin-Tak's truncheon.) "There's a dial on the bottom, but none of our equipment can pick up any radiographic or spectrographic images." "Is that your fancy way of saying that you don't know how to turn it on?" - Hunter.
     "This is twice now. You must really love fighting." - Vin-Tak to Bobbi. "Love fighting? No. But you're coming after one of my people. So I'm willing." "That's noble. Stupid; but noble."
     "Why is my hand not blue?" - Vin-Tak. "You were in disguise. From the people pursuing you. Remember?" - Coulson.
     "Not a lot of laughs, that one. And when I say that about somebody..." - May about Sif.

Episode Thirteen, "One of Us".
     "How long until you're gonna talk to him?" Bobbi asks Simmons about Fitz. "He lied to me!" "We're spies. It's what we do for a living. And besides, he did it for a good reason: He was trying to protect a friend."
     "I've been through the system. I've seen enough shrinks to know I hate them."  - Skye, panicked. "You'll like this one." - May. "Oh yeah? How come?" "Because I was married to him."
     "You hungry? I can fix you something." - May. "I'm not that hungry." - Andrew. (May laughs, Fitz runs into the lab, scared.) "Won't stay long, just have to use the microwave. Didn't want to disturb May and her ex." "Disturb them from...?" - Simmons. "They're in the kitchen, talking." "Oh. What are they talking about? Is it about, um, Skye's condition?" "No, it was...personal in nature. Seems that...May isn't a good cook." (Simmons' face lights up on hearing this.) "Something May doesn't excel at....Interesting!" "Yeah, he - he teased her about it. She was laughing." (Simmons walks over next to Fitz.) "Oh, he makes her laugh! Clearly, she still likes him, and have you seen the way he looks at her?" "Yeah, I have eyes, Jemma. Of course I've seen it." "I wonder what happened between them?" she asks. "Eh, they're a bizarre pair. He listens for a living, and she doesn't speak," he shrugs.
     (At a diner in Manitowoc, Wisconsin.) "You ought to try the sausage biscuits," Cal says. "I don't like food," Levi the hacker responds. Cal stares at him a minute. "Well. You're an interesting fellow."
     "Humor....so that's your thing. That's an effective way of not thinking about how monumentally painful your life is right now." - Andrew. "Good pep talk, thanks!" - Skye. "Sarcasm. Same purpose. Avoidance strategy."
     "Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to welcome you to this historic matchup between the S.H.I.E.L.D. Eagles and us...rivals and underdogs, the....Slicing Talons? Tonight's game is being simulcast live over AM 520 WAYS, your local sports radio." - Cal, over the Manitowoc High School football field's PA system. "What's he doing?" Bobbi asks Coulson. "He's making a statement. A very public one." (This leads to one of the best-edited fights of the season.)

Episode Fourteen, "Love in the Time of HYDRA".
     "Well, then I guess it's fair to say we all hide our true selves, don't we?" - inventor of the photostatic veil nano-mask. "Or we just wait until the right time to reveal the truth." - Ward.
     (Skye is playing Operation, Coulson enters the room.) "The ankle bone's always the toughest." "Yeah. Maybe a game of nerves isn't the best thing for me right now." "We're gonna need to take a ride." "Okay....but why am I suddenly feeling like Old Yeller right now?" "Kind of surprised you knew the reference." "Yeah, well, I've had a lot of downtime lately, so.... And Fitz really wants a dog." "I thought he wanted a monkey." "Guess he readjusted his expectations."
     (On Quinjet.) "Thing I remember most about my dad was that he was a car guy. He was always working on this junker that he insisted I help him fix. When my friends were outside, playin' ball, there I was, stuck inside, with him, fixing that damn car. It wasn't until we finished that it hit me. The car was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. And all the time we spent together working on it gave me an appreciation that I never would have had otherwise." - Coulson. "Hold on," Skye thinks. "Was that car a red 1962 Corvette?" (Meaning Lola.) Coulson smiles. "Yeah." "Well, he would be very proud. Your red Corvette flies, how cool is that?" "It's pretty cool. But I think the thing he'd like most about it...at her core,  she's still just a red '62 Corvette." Skye thinks a minute again. "Just to be clear, I'm the Corvette in this story, right?"
     (On getting to their destination.) "It's one of Fury's old retreats. I haven't been here in years." - Coulson. "Fury's not the kind of guy who has a cabin just to relax. What is this place?" - Skye. "It's a safe house for people with powers. Rogers even spent a couple weeks here, after he defrosted." "Okay; but who's it supposed to keep safe, the people with powers, or everyone else?" "Both." (A bit later, Skye's in tears, whispering in panicked terror.) "Stop! STOP. Stop being this S.H.I.E.L.D. guy for just one second, okay, please? We've been through way too much together. I just need you to be my friend right now. What would you do, right now, if you were me?" "I don't know," Coulson whispers. "These are uncharted waters. But if anyone can find a way through them, it's you." "Cause I'm the red Corvette." "Because you're one of the few people I know I can trust."
     (Talbot's wife calls him.) "Hey, honey! You get lost on the way to my office?" "No, I'm not lost, I'm just stuck in some traffic." "Wait. You're tellin' me you're still in the car?" "Yes. I swear, this construction on Fifth has been gong on forever." "But I just-" (He hangs up and talks to his secretary.) "She's not really here." "Excuse me, sir?" "I need you to lock down the base for me right now, Lieutenant. And if you see me someplace that I'm not supposed to be....I'm not there."
     (The nano-mask has finally been removed and Agent 33 has her own face back.) "Nice to finally meet you. I'm Grant." "Kara."

     This got way more detailed than I thought it would....

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