"What's up, Brendanawicz, you crazy old Polish person?" - Leslie
"She's insatiable...she's like a little dog with a chew toy!" - Ron, about Leslie.
Episode Three, "The Reporter".
"Tom Haverford, marketing genius. He's smooth like milk chocolate." - Leslie, introducing everyone to Shauna. "Okayy...that's a weird way to describe me..." he mutters.
"I like Tom. He's not a team player. He's always late. He shows zero initiative. He's never one to go that extra mile...Tom is exactly what I'm looking for in a government employee." - Ron.
Season Two, Episode One, "Pawnee Zoo".
'Brendanawicz, you big sandwich-eater." Leslie greets Mark, who's eating lunch.
Episode Four, "Practice Date".
"Ann is so awesome. I'm so lucky to have a friend who'll spend all day being mean to me." - Leslie.
Episode Five, "Sister City".
"He's actually a very smart rodent." - Ann defends Mark after a Venezuelan official calls him 'a very stupid rodent'.
Eipsode Six, "Kaboom".
"He lived in a Pit. You're dealing with a grown man who thinks like a gopher." - Ann to Leslie, about Andy.
Episode Seven, "Greg Pikitis".
"Every Halloween, someone defaces the statue of Mayor Percy in Ramsett Park. And I know it's Greg Pikitis, but I've never been able to prove it. He's like an invisible adolescent James Bond supervillian criminal mastermind." - Leslie.
Episode Nine, "The Camel".
"Dude, what kind of art is this? It looks like a lizard puking up Skittles!" - Tom, about an abstract painting.
"That looks like something a death-row convict would make in Art Therapy." - Tom complaining about Ann's mural.
Episode Fifteen, "Sweetums".
"He's like an issue of GQ magazine that's come to life." - Tom, about Justin the lawyer.
"Normally, I like to stay out of other people's business. But Pawnee is the fourth-most obese city in the nation. The kids here are...beefy! They're just....bulky, plus-sized, big-boned chunk-monsters! I call 'em like I see 'em." - April.
Episode Sixteen, "Galentine's Day"
"He's a tourist. He vacations in people's lives, takes pictures, puts 'em in a scrapbook and moves on. All he's interested in are stories." - Ron, to Leslie, about Justin. "Huh." "Basically, he's selfish. And you're not. And that's why you don't like him."
Episode Twenty-Two, "Telethon".
"Have you ever seen this man sleep? It's like watching underwater ballet." - Mark, watching Ron take a nap while sleep-fighting.
Episode Twenty-Four, "Freddy Spaghetti".
"The city government has been shut down for two days, and one city employee has already tried to schedule fourteen meetings with me....Can you guess who?" - Ben.
"Everyone needs a friend they can call and wake up in the middle of the night. Leslie's usually already up. And often already on her way over." - Ann.
"You guys know Tom really well, so I don't have to apologize for his behavior, right?" - Lucy.
"Chris and I used to do audits individually....When he did it, nothing got done. When I did it, I got death threats. Together, it seems to work." - Ben.
Episode Three, "The Reporter".
"Tom Haverford, marketing genius. He's smooth like milk chocolate." - Leslie, introducing everyone to Shauna. "Okayy...that's a weird way to describe me..." he mutters.
"I like Tom. He's not a team player. He's always late. He shows zero initiative. He's never one to go that extra mile...Tom is exactly what I'm looking for in a government employee." - Ron.
Season Two, Episode One, "Pawnee Zoo".
'Brendanawicz, you big sandwich-eater." Leslie greets Mark, who's eating lunch.
Episode Four, "Practice Date".
"Ann is so awesome. I'm so lucky to have a friend who'll spend all day being mean to me." - Leslie.
Episode Five, "Sister City".
"He's actually a very smart rodent." - Ann defends Mark after a Venezuelan official calls him 'a very stupid rodent'.
Eipsode Six, "Kaboom".
"He lived in a Pit. You're dealing with a grown man who thinks like a gopher." - Ann to Leslie, about Andy.
Episode Seven, "Greg Pikitis".
"Every Halloween, someone defaces the statue of Mayor Percy in Ramsett Park. And I know it's Greg Pikitis, but I've never been able to prove it. He's like an invisible adolescent James Bond supervillian criminal mastermind." - Leslie.
Episode Nine, "The Camel".
"Dude, what kind of art is this? It looks like a lizard puking up Skittles!" - Tom, about an abstract painting.
"That looks like something a death-row convict would make in Art Therapy." - Tom complaining about Ann's mural.
Episode Fifteen, "Sweetums".
"He's like an issue of GQ magazine that's come to life." - Tom, about Justin the lawyer.
"Normally, I like to stay out of other people's business. But Pawnee is the fourth-most obese city in the nation. The kids here are...beefy! They're just....bulky, plus-sized, big-boned chunk-monsters! I call 'em like I see 'em." - April.
Episode Sixteen, "Galentine's Day"
"He's a tourist. He vacations in people's lives, takes pictures, puts 'em in a scrapbook and moves on. All he's interested in are stories." - Ron, to Leslie, about Justin. "Huh." "Basically, he's selfish. And you're not. And that's why you don't like him."
Episode Twenty-Two, "Telethon".
"Have you ever seen this man sleep? It's like watching underwater ballet." - Mark, watching Ron take a nap while sleep-fighting.
Episode Twenty-Four, "Freddy Spaghetti".
"The city government has been shut down for two days, and one city employee has already tried to schedule fourteen meetings with me....Can you guess who?" - Ben.
"Everyone needs a friend they can call and wake up in the middle of the night. Leslie's usually already up. And often already on her way over." - Ann.
"You guys know Tom really well, so I don't have to apologize for his behavior, right?" - Lucy.
"Chris and I used to do audits individually....When he did it, nothing got done. When I did it, I got death threats. Together, it seems to work." - Ben.
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